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Original poster

Opinions on teacher's behaviour before I over react...

389 replies

Namechangedforthisone287 · 02/11/2022 18:14

I have name changed, but only because I've discussed this IRL with friends so I don't want this linking back to personal medical things I've posted about recently.

DD is 12 and in year 7. This week they are doing tests in all subjects. Clearly, these should be conducted in silence. This afternoon, they have been doing a history test (DD says short test, only 6 questions) and her friend has spoken to her. DD felt she had to reply so as not to be rude. Another friend has then mouthed something to her from across the room, and DD has given her a thumbs up. The teacher has seen all of this, and has taken DD's test paper off her, and said she'll have to redo the test tomorrow in form time, by herself. He has then ripped her test paper up over the bin.

DD says she was humiliated and embarrassed as everyone was looking at her. She cried at the time, and cried when she told me about it.

Now, DD can be a chatterbox and absolutely should have got on with her test and not interacted with her friends. I can understand that it may have looked like she was cheating. But I'm really unhappy with how things were handled by the teacher. Fair enough to take her test and make her re do it, but tearing it up and making a spectacle of DD is a bridge too far in my book.

WWYD? She doesn't want me to make a fuss.

OP posts:
ThingsIhavelearnt · 02/11/2022 20:02

she didn’t want to be rude to her friend but she was fine to ignore the teacher’s request and be rude to the teacher and annoy the whole class
the thumbs up is rude and inappropriate during an exam any sort of communication between pupils is forbidden

if it was my daughter I’d be emailing to apologise to the teacher and telling the teacher that my daughter had been given a right bollocking at home and better she learns this lesson now then in year 11.

MaybeSomeDay7 · 02/11/2022 20:03

MaybeSomeDay7 · 02/11/2022 20:01

You are obviously not a teacher, or you'd know exactly what I'm talking about. 😂

Damn that was a reply to the funny remark about what I must have been smoking! Not a reply to the general thread.

Thirdsummerofourdiscontent · 02/11/2022 20:03

Yabu

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

12 year olds General education Secondary education
Workyticket · 02/11/2022 20:04

The whole class would have been told and told again about the test conditions

Your daughter broke the rules and got caught - it's not traumatic, it's tough love

When Covid hit we had to use previous assessments data for CAGs and TAGs so I'm even more strict about exam conditions now because so much rested on that data for 2 years

donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 20:04

How tough?

In average times I get assaulted per half term? About a 7.

Does punishment work?

Yes, when coupled with good relationships and tons of praise/reward. The research is clear- nothing else does.

As I said I'm quite sure your schools have consequences too. You would even have done the same as this teacher- but in a different way because your context is different.

There are many, many times when I would not rip up a paper but I have done so when needed and it was always the right choice.

BCBird · 02/11/2022 20:04

I'm a teacher. If a child talks or communicates with someone,even through non verbal means,in a test it is classed as cheating. This is hopefully a lesson learnt and she,and the others will not do it again.

CarPoor · 02/11/2022 20:05

Also this isn't a post on who is the best teacher. It may not be how some teachers deal with this behaviour, I imagine different children and different schools need different strategies. But is this reasonable behaviour on the teacher, and I would say yes.

Whether it will actually work or whether its created more work for the teacher is a bit moot point, disciplining a child who cheats in a test is reasonable and not worthy of complaint from a parent.

Pumperthepumper · 02/11/2022 20:05

donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 20:04

How tough?

In average times I get assaulted per half term? About a 7.

Does punishment work?

Yes, when coupled with good relationships and tons of praise/reward. The research is clear- nothing else does.

As I said I'm quite sure your schools have consequences too. You would even have done the same as this teacher- but in a different way because your context is different.

There are many, many times when I would not rip up a paper but I have done so when needed and it was always the right choice.

If punishments work, how come you’re still getting assaulted? How come your schools are still tough?

psycho2 · 02/11/2022 20:05

In fairness, the kids was crying. You can be lovign and supportive and still give the kid the right message

let the kid cry, kids (girls especially) use tears to manipulate and get away with situations, more fool you and anybody else who embraces the child for that when they are in the wrong. I see grown assed women doing it in their 40s to get out of trouble and it really pisses me off.

Pumperthepumper · 02/11/2022 20:06

No, I would never have ripped it up. I would have used the cheat answers to compare to the non-cheating answers.

Ludo19 · 02/11/2022 20:07

Christ how did the kids cope when they got the belt at school.......was well before my time but it was for slight misdemeanours such as talking in class. I actually got a duster (for the blackboard) thrown at me. Now I'm not saying that was correct but put it into context. She was communicating through test conditions. Surely she could be quiet for 6 questions. Sure humiliation is shit but it'll maybe make her think twice about repeating it.

toomuchlaundry · 02/11/2022 20:07

I bet she hasn't told the whole story, so doesn't want you to make a fuss.

No sympathy from me if this happened to DS

GuyFawkesDay · 02/11/2022 20:08

Ok so she's fine to be rude & disrespectful to the teacher, but not her friend?

Maybe she needs a conversation about this. The adults in the room and the work are not a peripheral distraction to her social life. Priorities just need a bit of realigning.

Cut the teacher some slack. They've watched your child have numerous interaction with other(s) in a test. Kids know the rules, so the tears are probably more those of feeling ashamed of herself than anything else.

She needs to acknowledge those emotions and why they occurred and do some self reflection. She will be fine, support the teacher whilst having restorative conversations at home about her conduct.

Because ultimately, the fault lies with her. And she needs to acknowledge that. I am sure a proper apology, do the test and it'll all be forgotten. I know I have done this many a time and the slate is wiped clean next lesson.

donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 20:08

If punishments work, how come you’re still getting assaulted? How come your schools are still tough?

Because a new head came in who did away with the consequence system. I've taught in much tougher schools with far fewer problems because they had clear systems.

You aren't seriously saying your school never ever applies consequences are you? Come on.

Sunnyqueen · 02/11/2022 20:09

Soo is it just your DDs version of events you have or have you had the teachers as well?

KenickiesHickey · 02/11/2022 20:09

I think that your DD was the one that brought the attention her way not the invigilator. She’s lucky they’re allowing her to resit the paper. I would get her to apologise to the member of staff rather than complaining about them.

Pumperthepumper · 02/11/2022 20:09

donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 20:08

If punishments work, how come you’re still getting assaulted? How come your schools are still tough?

Because a new head came in who did away with the consequence system. I've taught in much tougher schools with far fewer problems because they had clear systems.

You aren't seriously saying your school never ever applies consequences are you? Come on.

No, not as a punishment they don’t. Because it doesn’t work. What made the far tougher schools tougher then?

wibblewobbleboard · 02/11/2022 20:11

I'm with the teacher. Sorry.

She's lucky they're letting her resit.

ScarlettOHaraHamiltonKennedyButler · 02/11/2022 20:11

I could be a bit of a nightmare in school for the poor teachers and whenever I got into trouble I would go to my Mum crying and saying how it wasn't fair, it was someone elses fault, the teachers hated me blah blah. She always fell for it and went all guns blazing to the school. (I did have some awful teachers also btw but 9 times of out 10 I was the problem).

You have your daughters version of events, this is almost certainly embellished. She was talking during and exam, she got punished, end of.

My DC have yet to be in trouble at school but if/when they are I will take what they say with a big pinch of salt.

Kennykenkencat · 02/11/2022 20:12

Did the others get the same punishment?

Rockingcloggs · 02/11/2022 20:13

Ludo19 · 02/11/2022 20:07

Christ how did the kids cope when they got the belt at school.......was well before my time but it was for slight misdemeanours such as talking in class. I actually got a duster (for the blackboard) thrown at me. Now I'm not saying that was correct but put it into context. She was communicating through test conditions. Surely she could be quiet for 6 questions. Sure humiliation is shit but it'll maybe make her think twice about repeating it.

I had a science teacher all through secondary school, he had dents in his filing cabinet where he'd throw his blackboard rubber.

One day, he warned us all about doing this particular thing and guess what? I did it anyway and when he saw me he made me stand in the bin because he said I was rubbish. Yes I was embarrassed and no I didn't do it again!

I loved that teacher, no namby-pamby shite, he taught well and disciplined well too, I wish he was still teaching so my son could have him.

Changerofthename1 · 02/11/2022 20:14

Ludo19 · 02/11/2022 20:07

Christ how did the kids cope when they got the belt at school.......was well before my time but it was for slight misdemeanours such as talking in class. I actually got a duster (for the blackboard) thrown at me. Now I'm not saying that was correct but put it into context. She was communicating through test conditions. Surely she could be quiet for 6 questions. Sure humiliation is shit but it'll maybe make her think twice about repeating it.

Well they didnt “cope” did they.

Youre still bringing it up 40 years later, its trauma. Otherwise like everything else that happened on the day you got assaulted at school you’d have forgotten about it.

oakleaffy · 02/11/2022 20:14

I remember a teacher ripping up a girl’s test paper in Biology.
One of those on the back bench.

Rrrippp Rripppppp Rrippppp!
right there in front of her.

Her sulky petulant face is embedded in my memory.

Think she must have been cheating or looking at another’s paper.

She bore it well, though and it never happened again.

wibblewobbleboard · 02/11/2022 20:16

Also. What were they talking about? Were they cheating?

Ludo19 · 02/11/2022 20:16

@Changerofthename1 where did I say I was assaulted....it was thrown AT me it didn't HIT me. So I have no trauma. Nor did I say it was correct. Maybe read what say without making daft assumptions.