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Original poster

Opinions on teacher's behaviour before I over react...

389 replies

Namechangedforthisone287 · 02/11/2022 18:14

I have name changed, but only because I've discussed this IRL with friends so I don't want this linking back to personal medical things I've posted about recently.

DD is 12 and in year 7. This week they are doing tests in all subjects. Clearly, these should be conducted in silence. This afternoon, they have been doing a history test (DD says short test, only 6 questions) and her friend has spoken to her. DD felt she had to reply so as not to be rude. Another friend has then mouthed something to her from across the room, and DD has given her a thumbs up. The teacher has seen all of this, and has taken DD's test paper off her, and said she'll have to redo the test tomorrow in form time, by herself. He has then ripped her test paper up over the bin.

DD says she was humiliated and embarrassed as everyone was looking at her. She cried at the time, and cried when she told me about it.

Now, DD can be a chatterbox and absolutely should have got on with her test and not interacted with her friends. I can understand that it may have looked like she was cheating. But I'm really unhappy with how things were handled by the teacher. Fair enough to take her test and make her re do it, but tearing it up and making a spectacle of DD is a bridge too far in my book.

WWYD? She doesn't want me to make a fuss.

OP posts:
donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 19:29

I know it’s a behavioural management strategy, that’s why it’s more useful than a punishment after the poor behaviour.

It's not at all useful to deal with this incident. Do you never apply consequences, no matter how serious the behaviour? If students cheat in tests do you submit the test marks anyway so you don't need to do more work?

BeanieTeen · 02/11/2022 19:30

I’ve taught in loads of different schools. I know how to manage behaviour.

Why ‘loads’? @Pumperthepumper

Not really sure that marks you out as a fountain of wisdom on behaviour to be honest. Quite the opposite.

LatteLady · 02/11/2022 19:30

Short, sharp lesson and I suspect your daughter will keep her eyes firmly on her own paper in future. And really I would thank her teacher for doing this... it is a lesson well learnt and rather a good and practical punishment.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

12 year olds General education Secondary education
Refrosty · 02/11/2022 19:30

I used to get in these situations a lot. Eventually I'd go home from school all riled up, and my Jamaican grandma would sit there listening attentively to my woes, and then she'd start cheering and clapping for the teacher everytime I'd mention an act/something they'd said to stand up for themselves or assert the rules. That shut me up very well 😂

OP, your daughter put being polite to her friends over her future. That's concerning. Forget the teacher and refocus your daughter. Teach her to ignore people when the situation calls for it.

Pumperthepumper · 02/11/2022 19:33

donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 19:29

I know it’s a behavioural management strategy, that’s why it’s more useful than a punishment after the poor behaviour.

It's not at all useful to deal with this incident. Do you never apply consequences, no matter how serious the behaviour? If students cheat in tests do you submit the test marks anyway so you don't need to do more work?

No, i don’t punish. And no, if a student cheats in a test then they re-do it.

Pumperthepumper · 02/11/2022 19:33

BeanieTeen · 02/11/2022 19:30

I’ve taught in loads of different schools. I know how to manage behaviour.

Why ‘loads’? @Pumperthepumper

Not really sure that marks you out as a fountain of wisdom on behaviour to be honest. Quite the opposite.

Why the opposite? A poster asked me the question, and I answered it.

Untitledsquatboulder · 02/11/2022 19:34

Same happened to me when I was 9 and doing exams for the first time. I cried. And then never did it again.

And as I've not thought about it in years and just smiled whilst remembering it, I guess it didn't scar me for life.

echt · 02/11/2022 19:34

BeanieTeen · 02/11/2022 19:30

I’ve taught in loads of different schools. I know how to manage behaviour.

Why ‘loads’? @Pumperthepumper

Not really sure that marks you out as a fountain of wisdom on behaviour to be honest. Quite the opposite.

Having taught in "loads" of schools does not make you a worse manager of behaviour. Not sure how you make this correlation.

Msloverlover · 02/11/2022 19:35

I’m impressed she had the balls to tell you. If I told my mum this story, she would have given me another bollocking!

Puffalicious · 02/11/2022 19:37

I love how the OP hasn't got the answer they need, so slopes off.

Msloverlover · 02/11/2022 19:37

And, as a teacher, this would have really pissed me off too. They know how to be silent in tests from SATS in year 6. They grasp how serious it is then so I’m pretty sure she knew exactly what she was doing.

ABBAsnumberonefan · 02/11/2022 19:37

Something similar happened to me once. I didn’t do it again 🤷‍♀️ the teacher didn’t embarrass her, they reacted appropriately. Maybe use this as a lesson for your daughter.

Thurst · 02/11/2022 19:37

Sounds like a bit of an over reaction but hopefully she learns from it. Definitely don’t kick ups fuss.

mathanxiety · 02/11/2022 19:37

You need to tell your DD to stop feeling she has to avoid being rude in situations like tests.

The first rule of test taking is keep your eyes on your paper and do not look around.

It sounds as if the teacher decided to make an example of her, and it seems to me that his decision was appropriate.

Your DD needs to start taking herself seriously.

MargaretThursday · 02/11/2022 19:37

Happened in year 7 when I was doing exams.
One of the lads at the end said loudly "finished" and put his pen noisily down. Teacher walked over, ripped his exam paper in half and sat down again.

We were fully aware that the particular boy had done it partially to test the teacher (who was known for being fairly soft) because he'd said at the beginning that is what would happen-and I think we were all quite shocked to find he did carry it out.

We all told him he was stupid for trying it, but it was also a good lesson for everyone else too. No one was going to try that again.

donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 19:38

No, i don’t punish.

Presumably you don't follow school consequence systems then? Is that why you've moved schools so much?

And no, if a student cheats in a test then they re-do it.

That is a consequence. You don't keep the old tests do you? So in this case you are happy that the teacher applied the consequence and destroyed the test but not that they did so in a way that illustrated the consequence to the whole class?

Your complaints about the teacher making work for themselves seemed to indicate you would not have done the same thing.

orangeisthenewpuce · 02/11/2022 19:39

Msloverlover · 02/11/2022 19:35

I’m impressed she had the balls to tell you. If I told my mum this story, she would have given me another bollocking!

Me too. I never told my mum if I got told off at school for that reason.

Katapolts · 02/11/2022 19:40

This would be a petty thing to go to the teacher about.

When my kid's been told off in secondary, I might commiserate with them but they have to abide by the rules or face the consequences.
Even if they've felt it's a bit unfair (it's always unfair of course!) that's just life.

Pumperthepumper · 02/11/2022 19:40

donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 19:38

No, i don’t punish.

Presumably you don't follow school consequence systems then? Is that why you've moved schools so much?

And no, if a student cheats in a test then they re-do it.

That is a consequence. You don't keep the old tests do you? So in this case you are happy that the teacher applied the consequence and destroyed the test but not that they did so in a way that illustrated the consequence to the whole class?

Your complaints about the teacher making work for themselves seemed to indicate you would not have done the same thing.

My schools don’t punish either.

Redoing the test isn’t for a punishment, it’s because I need accurate data. I’d never be happy a teacher created more work for themselves, because it’s pointless.

Theblacksheepandme · 02/11/2022 19:40

I wouldn't do anything as the teacher didn't do anything wrong. If she was my daughter she might be getting a punishment from me at home too.

Subbaxeo · 02/11/2022 19:40

When I was at school, this and worse happened and we understood it as part of the consequences of breaking the rules. If this were my daughter, I would tell her that if she doesn’t want this to happen to her again, to make sure she keeps to the rules next time. Don’t complain-she’ll be a bit upset but you will not be doing her any favours if she knows she can turn on the tears and get away with things.

AuntMargo · 02/11/2022 19:41

Teacher did fine, she's not a baby and needs to learn there are consequences for rule breaking !

Mrmoody · 02/11/2022 19:41

As I teacher I have done this in the past, however after several warnings and making it very clear of the outcome if they continue to talk- so is DD telling the truth that it happened immediately and out of the blue?

tunthebloodyalarmoff · 02/11/2022 19:42

You obviously don't know how stressful being a teacher is then. Suck it up

Lopilo · 02/11/2022 19:42

I still remember the entitled prick who sat behind me in my gcse mock exams giggling and singing under his breath. I wish someone had ripped up his exam paper.