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Original poster

Opinions on teacher's behaviour before I over react...

389 replies

Namechangedforthisone287 · 02/11/2022 18:14

I have name changed, but only because I've discussed this IRL with friends so I don't want this linking back to personal medical things I've posted about recently.

DD is 12 and in year 7. This week they are doing tests in all subjects. Clearly, these should be conducted in silence. This afternoon, they have been doing a history test (DD says short test, only 6 questions) and her friend has spoken to her. DD felt she had to reply so as not to be rude. Another friend has then mouthed something to her from across the room, and DD has given her a thumbs up. The teacher has seen all of this, and has taken DD's test paper off her, and said she'll have to redo the test tomorrow in form time, by herself. He has then ripped her test paper up over the bin.

DD says she was humiliated and embarrassed as everyone was looking at her. She cried at the time, and cried when she told me about it.

Now, DD can be a chatterbox and absolutely should have got on with her test and not interacted with her friends. I can understand that it may have looked like she was cheating. But I'm really unhappy with how things were handled by the teacher. Fair enough to take her test and make her re do it, but tearing it up and making a spectacle of DD is a bridge too far in my book.

WWYD? She doesn't want me to make a fuss.

OP posts:
BretonBlue · 02/11/2022 19:13

Good job OP posted here before contacting the school.

TheaBrandt · 02/11/2022 19:14

Absolutely McMoo - mummy was told because the Dd assumes she’ll bustle in and fight her corner - pretty sure mine would have kept this secret from us!

Topseyt123 · 02/11/2022 19:15

she won’t know better in the future. She’ll still talk because that behaviour hasn’t changed. She’ll just get told off again afterwards.

Of course she'll know better in the future, unless she is totally thick.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

12 year olds General education Secondary education
OldReliable · 02/11/2022 19:15

Maybe she will learn not to disrupt the class in future.

WonderingWanda · 02/11/2022 19:16

In my school she would have been warned once and then sent to isolation for 5 lessons. Teach her some resilience and tell her she should suck it up, if she doesn't want the teacher to draw attention to her behaviour then follow the rules. If you are caught talking in a gcse exam the invigilator will remove you. You run the risk of being disqualified from that exam and any other exam with that exam board. She needs to learn now. My dc got a detention for their glue having run out. We discussed that it was a bit harsh of the teacher but ultimately they did the detention and now remember to check their glue.

ForestofD · 02/11/2022 19:17

You know the bit where you say she's a bit of a chatterbox?

Each time the teacher has to deal with your daughter chattering and low level disrupting the class, he's not teaching.

He was harsh. But you are also minimising how disruptive she was to the test situation.

canyouextrapol · 02/11/2022 19:17

Sounds fine. She was communicating in a test. It's invalid. Hopefully it will be a short sharp shock and she will remember for next time

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/11/2022 19:17

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts · 02/11/2022 18:17

Meh DDs fault entirely. Not wanting to be rude is a ridiculous excuse for talking in an exam setting. Better she learns it now than gets disqualified from a GCSe or A level later.

This exactly.

notmyrealmoniker · 02/11/2022 19:19

She behaved badly and was punished. She'll learn to take test and school more seriously

NubADubDUb · 02/11/2022 19:19

Good for the teacher

keepcalm11 · 02/11/2022 19:19

WWYD?

Nothing. There is nothing for you to do.

School are dealing with it

PurplePixies · 02/11/2022 19:19

I can’t believe you actually think the teacher is at fault here!

Harsh lesson but she really needs to learn this NOW and not when she’s taking her GCSE’s or whatever.

No looking around at other students and definitely no talking or gesturing.

If this was exam room conditions, she’d be automatically disqualified, given a zero and definitely not allowed to retake the exam the following day.

As it is, I think her teacher has been rather lenient.

I guess it comes down to whether you care about your daughter getting good grades in her exams or not. 🤔

donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 19:19

And I’ve already said what he could do to help her succeed.

The only thing I can see you posted which remotely qualifies as that was to move her chair away from anyone she would speak to.

  1. That's not a consequence for her actions, it's a behaviour management strategy for next time. If you have never taught in a school where (in some groups) not applying consequences would result in the whole class talking then you are very, very lucky.
  2. Even if you are a teacher in the nicest school in the world you must know that some students will talk at the wrong time, or even deliberately cheat, wherever they sit in the class.
GonnaGetGoingReturns · 02/11/2022 19:21

Why don't children listen to their teachers anymore rather than try to cheek them or misbehave? Not saying we should go back to rule them with a rod of iron.

And then we have the mum trying to make excuses for her DD and letting her off! Shock

PaintOn · 02/11/2022 19:21

Your dd is out of order is she is chatting in year 7 and especially during a test. How come she doesn't know this?

Ripping the test is a bit strange but I'd have serious words with DD about what she did. If she continues she'll get into trouble.

Pumperthepumper · 02/11/2022 19:21

donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 19:19

And I’ve already said what he could do to help her succeed.

The only thing I can see you posted which remotely qualifies as that was to move her chair away from anyone she would speak to.

  1. That's not a consequence for her actions, it's a behaviour management strategy for next time. If you have never taught in a school where (in some groups) not applying consequences would result in the whole class talking then you are very, very lucky.
  2. Even if you are a teacher in the nicest school in the world you must know that some students will talk at the wrong time, or even deliberately cheat, wherever they sit in the class.

I know it’s a behavioural management strategy, that’s why it’s more useful than a punishment after the poor behaviour.

I’ve taught in loads of different schools. I know how to manage behaviour.

Beverley71 · 02/11/2022 19:21

Sorry but if someone talks to you when they are supposed to be silent, be rude and ignore them

ChocolateCinderToffee · 02/11/2022 19:22

I'm glad she doesn't want you to make a fuss. She seems sensible.

Arenanewbie · 02/11/2022 19:22

I haven’t read the whole thread so maybe someone mentioned this already. Could be that the teacher just torn her test to get rid of it but it looked somehow spectacular for her because she was upset? I’ve got this with my DD she’s done practice test at home wrongly and I torn the paper just to get rid but for her it looked like I was making extra point that she did it wrong and she was upset ( she is sensitive soul)
However your DD was wrong to chat and to do any sort of signs and he’d teacher was fair. Of course any teacher wants to train them to be quiet and focus on their test.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 02/11/2022 19:23

I'd revisit your own parenting skills OP because if and when your DD gets a job or whatever, she won't be allowed to misbehave and chatter non-stop then! Unless she wants to get consequences.

DotDotaDash · 02/11/2022 19:23

She doesn’t want you to make a fuss (because she knows she was wrong). The teacher sounds pretty strict. It may be a bit over the top who knows.

Well teachers have different styles but no talking test rules are pretty unilateral.

I would empathise with her about how she is feeling and explain that the test is so the teacher knows each student’s ability. Talking looks like cheating so undermines this and also distracts other pupils from their test. Teacher will have to prepare test and mark test and invigilate
its exceptionally rude to disrespect that.

She needs to ignore her friends if the teacher has set a no talking rule.

She needs to sit the test in form with good grace and apologise for being disruptive.

Then it can all be forgotten - except the bit about respecting the rules.

Cania · 02/11/2022 19:27

I personally would just leave it. Unless you have other issues with the teacher it's important both parties work together to challenge our children's behaviour. You could have a quiet word to let the teacher know the impact it had on your DD. But she needs to acknowledge where she went wrong and why she now has to do the test on another day

Travis1 · 02/11/2022 19:28

The comments advocating humiliation is what is wrong with society. And they’ll all be the first to spout #bekind as well. Ugh

Houseplantmad · 02/11/2022 19:29

Teach your child some resilience and help them to learn from the experience. You are doing them no favours by indulging the tears etc. against the "nasty" teacher.

OliveWah · 02/11/2022 19:29

I totally get why you'd want to get in touch with school over this, but as the mother of 2 teenage DDs myself, I would leave it. I occasionally feel like contacting a teacher when I hear of something that's happened at school, but know my girls would be mortified if I did, so I don't. You should be guided by your DD on this one.

It does sound slightly harsh - specifically the bit about tearing up her paper in front of the whole class - but I suspect your DD will keep her head down and ignore anyone trying to communicate with her in future exam conditions, so hopefully it's a lesson learned.