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Original poster

Opinions on teacher's behaviour before I over react...

389 replies

Namechangedforthisone287 · 02/11/2022 18:14

I have name changed, but only because I've discussed this IRL with friends so I don't want this linking back to personal medical things I've posted about recently.

DD is 12 and in year 7. This week they are doing tests in all subjects. Clearly, these should be conducted in silence. This afternoon, they have been doing a history test (DD says short test, only 6 questions) and her friend has spoken to her. DD felt she had to reply so as not to be rude. Another friend has then mouthed something to her from across the room, and DD has given her a thumbs up. The teacher has seen all of this, and has taken DD's test paper off her, and said she'll have to redo the test tomorrow in form time, by herself. He has then ripped her test paper up over the bin.

DD says she was humiliated and embarrassed as everyone was looking at her. She cried at the time, and cried when she told me about it.

Now, DD can be a chatterbox and absolutely should have got on with her test and not interacted with her friends. I can understand that it may have looked like she was cheating. But I'm really unhappy with how things were handled by the teacher. Fair enough to take her test and make her re do it, but tearing it up and making a spectacle of DD is a bridge too far in my book.

WWYD? She doesn't want me to make a fuss.

OP posts:
AntiqueCestChic · 02/11/2022 18:52

I would not be contacting the school - I think the teacher's actions were reasonable.

I'd have a talk with your daughter to ensure she understands she must not communicate at all with other students during tests - tell her that if anyone tries to communicate with her she needs to ignore them - eyes down on the test paper!

It's better she learns this now before her GCSEs - when what she did today would get her disqualified from the exam.

maddiemookins16mum · 02/11/2022 18:53

Evvyjb · 02/11/2022 18:49

Teacher here - I did this once. Class were given fair warning about the need to work in silence. Reminded again and told the next person talking would have their paper torn up.

She whispered to her mate. Paper got torn up (I later taped it back together to mark it but that's by the by). She never did it again and neither did the class.

Can't have traumatised her too much as I had her for GCSE, A Level and then came back post degree (my subject) to train as a teacher in my department!

Love this.

ClocksGoingBackwards · 02/11/2022 18:54

Your daughter would have been told repeatedly how she should conduct herself in exam conditions, but it wasn’t enough to make her behave in an acceptable way. This will have taught her the lesson she needs to learn before it really matters, which is a good thing.

You only have her word for what exactly happened, and there’s no doubt she will have told you the version that makes her sound the least guilty. You can be supportive and kind to her after what has been a difficult day without sending the message that you think she shouldn’t face the consequences of her behaviour.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

12 year olds General education Secondary education
donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 18:54

So what test is she doing tomorrow?

Probably the same test but not the one she filled in while cheating- a blank one.

Possibly a test on the same topic but not the same questions (though I wouldn't bother for Y7s).

ShowOfHands · 02/11/2022 18:55

I had a very similar situation yesterday. Four students who talked during exam conditions. All were aware there would be a consequence. All four warned. All four talked again. They will sit the tests again tomorrow. At lunch.

Thinking about it, no I wouldn't have ripped up their work. I don't think I'd ever do that. I might ask a child to throw away something if they'd defaced it for example but do it myself? Hmm. No. It feels like devaluing their work so maybe it doesn't sit right with me. But I think I can see why another teacher might do it.

Believe me, I'm still trying to get y11s sitting mocks to understand they risk their entire GCSE by not abiding by exam conditions. Better they learn early.

I am sorry your DD feels rotten. It will pass I hope. She has learned a tough lesson.

Pumperthepumper · 02/11/2022 18:55

donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 18:54

So what test is she doing tomorrow?

Probably the same test but not the one she filled in while cheating- a blank one.

Possibly a test on the same topic but not the same questions (though I wouldn't bother for Y7s).

So he’s just caused himself more work then.

SeemingOKToday · 02/11/2022 18:56

At 12 she should know better and it's a valuable lesson for her future conduct during tests - one that she'll remember.

I'd be telling my dc (also 12) that he was lucky he was being given the opportunity to take the test again. Certainly wouldn't be complaining.

WakingUpDistress · 02/11/2022 18:56

I agree with PP.

I wouldn’t do anything.

But also what would you like to see happening? It’s not like you can go back in time to avoid the tearing of the paper.

AuntieMarys · 02/11/2022 18:56

She won't do that again. Lesson learned

Georgyporky · 02/11/2022 18:58

"She doesn't want me to make a fuss."
Because she knows she was in the wrong

ThanksItHasPockets · 02/11/2022 18:58

Everyone wants a school with strong discipline until it’s their kid being disciplined.

caringcarer · 02/11/2022 18:59

Your dd and all children have to learn how to behave in an exam. She would have be told to be in silence with no communication until all papers were collected in. She chose not to follow instructions. All her own fault. No sympathy as this would not have happened if she had followed instructions. Hopefully she will learn from this.

Topseyt123 · 02/11/2022 18:59

Pumperthepumper · 02/11/2022 18:50

So what test is she doing tomorrow? 🤷

Show quote history

She can be set different questions to do the next day because she voided her first test. As long as they are still on topics they have covered then that is fine. Why is it hard to understand?

She was an idiot, she pays the consequences. Simple. If she is embarrassed then so what! It's a lesson she won't forget in a hurry and she'll definitely know better in future.

I think you are being melodramatic talking about her being traumatised. What bollocks!

donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 19:00

She whispered to her mate. Paper got torn up (I later taped it back together to mark it but that's by the by). She never did it again and neither did the class.

If they weren't actually cheating I generally collect the papers in and then ostentatiously tear up a blank copy- then tell the kid when they come back for their detention. Of course if they are talking repeatedly it has to go because otherwise it isn't fair on the other kids.

Unfortunately I have had to bin an entire class' papers and make them all do it again because a teacher failed to conduct a test under remotely exam conditions- they felt actually enforcing the rules and removing the talkers was mean so, once the kids knew this, the test degenerated. I think that teacher is far crueler to the kids than the one who rips a paper up.

Smineusername · 02/11/2022 19:00

I'm a teacher and he's out of order. Would maybe let your daughter handle it though?

BretonBlue · 02/11/2022 19:00

It is a disgusting insult to children experiencing genuine trauma to describe this incident as ‘traumatic’. Stop it.

orangeisthenewpuce · 02/11/2022 19:01

YABU. Entirely appropriate action by the teacher.

donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 19:02

So he’s just caused himself more work then.

Yes, obviously. All detentions are extra work. Teaching well is much harder than not caring.

But the teacher didn't cause it, she didn't talk in the test, OP's daughter did.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 02/11/2022 19:02

She's 12, old enough to know better and I'd take what she says with a pinch of salt

Tell her infuture to do as the teacher has asked

Pumperthepumper · 02/11/2022 19:02

Topseyt123 · 02/11/2022 18:59

She can be set different questions to do the next day because she voided her first test. As long as they are still on topics they have covered then that is fine. Why is it hard to understand?

She was an idiot, she pays the consequences. Simple. If she is embarrassed then so what! It's a lesson she won't forget in a hurry and she'll definitely know better in future.

I think you are being melodramatic talking about her being traumatised. What bollocks!

Show quote history

It’s not hard to understand - my point is that he’s just given himself more work by ripping it up. And she won’t know better in the future. She’ll still talk because that behaviour hasn’t changed. She’ll just get told off again afterwards.

And it wasn’t me who introduced the word ‘trauma’ to this conversation.

green82 · 02/11/2022 19:03

It isn’t. What their pals think of them is much stronger.

Yep and many of them will laugh if she comes across as embarrassed and upset, teens are pretty predictable! Honestly think you've completely forgotten what is like to be a teenager.

donquixotedelamancha · 02/11/2022 19:03

I'm a teacher and he's out of order.

Why? Do you teach Y7s and not conduct tests in exam conditions?

BoobsAhoy · 02/11/2022 19:03

Namechangedforthisone287 · 02/11/2022 18:14

I have name changed, but only because I've discussed this IRL with friends so I don't want this linking back to personal medical things I've posted about recently.

DD is 12 and in year 7. This week they are doing tests in all subjects. Clearly, these should be conducted in silence. This afternoon, they have been doing a history test (DD says short test, only 6 questions) and her friend has spoken to her. DD felt she had to reply so as not to be rude. Another friend has then mouthed something to her from across the room, and DD has given her a thumbs up. The teacher has seen all of this, and has taken DD's test paper off her, and said she'll have to redo the test tomorrow in form time, by herself. He has then ripped her test paper up over the bin.

DD says she was humiliated and embarrassed as everyone was looking at her. She cried at the time, and cried when she told me about it.

Now, DD can be a chatterbox and absolutely should have got on with her test and not interacted with her friends. I can understand that it may have looked like she was cheating. But I'm really unhappy with how things were handled by the teacher. Fair enough to take her test and make her re do it, but tearing it up and making a spectacle of DD is a bridge too far in my book.

WWYD? She doesn't want me to make a fuss.

Mate. Suck it up

Pumperthepumper · 02/11/2022 19:04

green82 · 02/11/2022 19:03

It isn’t. What their pals think of them is much stronger.

Yep and many of them will laugh if she comes across as embarrassed and upset, teens are pretty predictable! Honestly think you've completely forgotten what is like to be a teenager.

Her pals won’t though. And that’s what will
mean the most to her, when they validate her feelings. Did you not have friends as a teenager?

BeanieTeen · 02/11/2022 19:04

Nobody ever became a more successful learner by being traumatised.

’Traumatised’?? 😂

And she won’t even hesitate about talking in class again, because he hasn’t fixed the reason for her doing that.

Makes her sound like a broken Alexa… silly teacher just turned her off for now by ripping up her exam but forgot to reconfigure her settings to avoid such future glitches.