Opinions on teacher's behaviour before I over react...

[Namechangedforthisone287]

I have name changed, but only because I've discussed this IRL with friends so I don't want this linking back to personal medical things I've posted about recently.

DD is 12 and in year 7. This week they are doing tests in all subjects. Clearly, these should be conducted in silence. This afternoon, they have been doing a history test (DD says short test, only 6 questions) and her friend has spoken to her. DD felt she had to reply so as not to be rude. Another friend has then mouthed something to her from across the room, and DD has given her a thumbs up. The teacher has seen all of this, and has taken DD's test paper off her, and said she'll have to redo the test tomorrow in form time, by herself. He has then ripped her test paper up over the bin.

DD says she was humiliated and embarrassed as everyone was looking at her. She cried at the time, and cried when she told me about it.

Now, DD can be a chatterbox and absolutely should have got on with her test and not interacted with her friends. I can understand that it may have looked like she was cheating. But I'm really unhappy with how things were handled by the teacher. Fair enough to take her test and make her re do it, but tearing it up and making a spectacle of DD is a bridge too far in my book.

WWYD? She doesn't want me to make a fuss.

For me it’s by not ripping up a paper that I’ll have to print another copy of, thereby saving myself a trip to the printer.

It’s best to learn this harsh lesson now rather than in a GCSE exam and being disqualified.

I’m sorry she felt humiliated but she won’t do that again.

It won’t change her behaviour though. Which is why it’s a stupid thing to do.

I think it will, if she was so traumatised by the event next time she will be more concerned about being embarrassed again than she will "appearing rude" to a friend.

You are being unreasonable and precious. Your dd should know better and 'not wanting to be rude' is a poor excuse to what would be deemed as cheating in a formal exam. She'd have been disqualified if that were here A levels or GCSEs. It's humiliating but that's a lesson learnt from her part.

I'd do nothing other than tell my child that it was their own stupid fault for talking during the test and that I would expect them to learn never to be so silly again.

Experience is a great teacher. Be grateful that this happened in Year 7 and not in a few years time during her GCSEs. She could be disqualified for this behaviour, so don't offer her sympathy now. Take the opportunity to ram home the point that this is totally unacceptable behaviour and that you trust that there will be no repeat performance.

Nobody ever became a more successful learner by being traumatised. And she won’t even hesitate about talking in class again, because he hasn’t fixed the reason for her doing that.

Well hopefully the upset will make her change her behaviour. The teacher is right, you and your daughter are in the wrong.

She won’t have learned anything by being humiliated- it won’t stop her chatting because 12 year olds care infinitely more about what their friends think of them than their teachers.

The paper being ripped up is not humiliating- it's just publicly illustrating the consequence that is always given (by good teachers) for talking in tests: it goes in the bin and you do it again.

Of course most students learn from this, otherwise we'd have loads of kids talking during GCSEs. Far better to learn this lesson now than have an exam board 'rip up' real exams.

@Pumperthepumper I can think of several times as a teenager especially i was embarrassed and changed my behaviour as a result! For teenagers embarrassment is a huge motivator! It's the worst thing that can happen to them!

Nobody ever became a more successful learner by being traumatised.

I've taught many kids with real trauma. Describing ripping up a test as traumatic is pathetic.

Ha, well yes maybe that too or the fact that by not ripping the paper you’ll save yourself a complaint for reinforcing basic rules and discipline during a test!

Because it’s null and void?🤷‍♀️

I think the teacher was right. Better your daughter learns now that it is better to be thought rude than get disqualified.

How do you think the teacher should have dealt with 2 incidents of communicating during an exam?

Of course it will change her behaviour, unless OP ruins things by being sympathetic and telling her DD that she has done nothing wrong and the teacher was a dick.

You are getting some horrible posts. I don't get why people don't believe a 12 year old might not want to upset people by not responding. The instigators always get away with it and the followers get in trouble which is another lesson she needs to learn. Teacher was harsh but I wouldn't raise anything yet. I would talk to your DD kindly and advise her how serious these things are and tell her what the consequences can be in the future and that she mustn't let her friends get her in trouble in tests or elsewhere. Do let your DD know she should still come and tell you things in case there are any issues with teacher later. Unlikely but just in case.

It isn’t. What their pals think of them is much stronger.

It won’t. He hasn’t addressed the reasons for her talking or set her up for success ie by moving her chair so she can’t see her pals. She’ll do it again without a second’s hesitation because that’s how she behaves.

Teacher here - I did this once. Class were given fair warning about the need to work in silence. Reminded again and told the next person talking would have their paper torn up.

She whispered to her mate. Paper got torn up (I later taped it back together to mark it but that's by the by). She never did it again and neither did the class.

Can't have traumatised her too much as I had her for GCSE, A Level and then came back post degree (my subject) to train as a teacher in my department!

She hasn’t been traumatised- she’s been told off. Her parents need to enforce good behaviour and support the teacher. DT’s would have been more concerned about the call from the school to us, to expect any sympathy.

'Traumatised' for getting caught breaking test rules? Seriously? You must teach in an incredibly sheltered school to think of that as bloody trauma.

Should kids just be able to do whatever they want without any repercussions in case, god forbid, they feel embarrassed?

So what test is she doing tomorrow? 🤷

She’s said she doesn’t want you to make a fuss. If what you’re so bothered about is her being embarrassed, she’s made it clear she’ll feel more embarrassed by you making a thing of it, so I don’t get why you think you’d be helping in any way.

It wasn’t me who introduced the word ‘traumatised’.

A gentle YABU. DD's friend was rude to the teacher and the other students trying to concentrate. By answering, your DD took part in that rudeness. Your teacher was right to call her out on it and showing the entire class that breaking exam rules will not be tolerated. It is better that they learn this lesson early on. In Y7, it is being told off and having to redo the test. In YR 11 GCSE, it can be disqualification from all exams.