Opinions on teacher's behaviour before I over react...

[Namechangedforthisone287]

I have name changed, but only because I've discussed this IRL with friends so I don't want this linking back to personal medical things I've posted about recently.

DD is 12 and in year 7. This week they are doing tests in all subjects. Clearly, these should be conducted in silence. This afternoon, they have been doing a history test (DD says short test, only 6 questions) and her friend has spoken to her. DD felt she had to reply so as not to be rude. Another friend has then mouthed something to her from across the room, and DD has given her a thumbs up. The teacher has seen all of this, and has taken DD's test paper off her, and said she'll have to redo the test tomorrow in form time, by herself. He has then ripped her test paper up over the bin.

DD says she was humiliated and embarrassed as everyone was looking at her. She cried at the time, and cried when she told me about it.

Now, DD can be a chatterbox and absolutely should have got on with her test and not interacted with her friends. I can understand that it may have looked like she was cheating. But I'm really unhappy with how things were handled by the teacher. Fair enough to take her test and make her re do it, but tearing it up and making a spectacle of DD is a bridge too far in my book.

WWYD? She doesn't want me to make a fuss.

@Pumperthepumper theres a reason we do everything , doesn't mean its an ok reason or its not ok to question the reason or explain its wrong

Sounds like my sons old school where the bullying culminated in my sons glasses being ripped off his face and stamped on, there was no 'punishment' for those kids that bullied him relentlessly either! Thankfully, he no longer attends such a shit, inadequate institution.

No, no detentions - as I said already. Yes, we would phone parents to keep them informed. No, it’s very, very rare for a child to be excluded. It’s never happened while I’ve been teaching. Yes, they would be asked to leave a room to calm down.

The kids that learn how to correct their behaviour are the kids who have parents that support school. I would focus on teaching my child to be responsible for their own actions, “chatterbox” is code for disruptive, why should your child be allowed to disrupt others? They got caught, they got the consequence, if you undermine the teacher they will push boundaries again, will you step in then too so it continues to escalate?

AGAIN: I didn’t say that made it ok.

As a teacher, I've done stuff like this. It's a bit mean, but they need to learn and learn early that test conditions is a really important thing (and that there are no excuses or second chances at GCSE and A Level). Sorry. Tough lesson, but hopefully one she will remember.

okay, so where do you draw a line? There were obviously rules in place, she broke them! Am sure your dd accepts this , so don’t understand what the problem is? In a few years she will be doing state exams, a good training You are so out of order here! Cop on!

"Nobody ever became a more successful learner by being traumatised. And she won’t even hesitate about talking in class again, because he hasn’t fixed the reason for her doing that."

@Pumperthepumper I have to say, I disagree with this.

I did stupid things in school, got bollocked, got really embarrassed, and never did them again.

I'm still like this. Make a stupid mistake, learn from it. Don't do it again.

They were indeed, but several of your comments on this thread honestly sound so much like them that if you hadn’t mentioned working in Scotland I’d wonder if you were actually that person. Make of that what you will.

I’ll just accept it as the insult it is.

Well that must be delightful for the bullied kids then. I know I'd feel safe in school if my bully got a chance to leave class and regroup.

And if your kid was the one who was bullying - would you want us to go straight to punishment? Or would you want us to find out why they were behaving like that?

@Pumperthepumper Yes. Yes if my child was bullying another, especially in the way mine was being bullied, then I would absolutely want you to punish him immediately.

Um, both of course.

would you want us to go straight to punishment? Or would you want us to find out why they were behaving like that?

I thought you never ever punish anyone, no matter what they do?

Totally appropriate punishment. Hopefully your daughter will learn from this. As others have said, if this had been a GCSE exam she would have had all of her papers disqualified. YABU if you think anything else.

Does the child bear no responsibility for her own behaviour? It sounds like mist of the children didn't need their environment "fixed" in order to behave properly in the test. Maturity is not the issue - these are not 5 year olds! - the issue is simply bad behaviour.
There will have been a good number in the class who wanted to do the test properly and were annoyed by the distraction caused by OP's daughter. Making an example of poor behaviour supports and reassures those children.

@Pumperthepumper you sound very idealistic and new to teaching. Not all children need us to "come alongside them", some of them need us to come up behind them and give them a kick in the arse

YABU - It was not that humiliating - she may have been upset but perhaps learning a) to not ignore rules that she must know are there for a good reasons; b) learning not to prioritise her friends at the wrong moment; c) learning to know when not to 'join in' is important for teenagers and d) learning to take a punishment on the chin when she has been caught fair and square.

Stop claiming extenuating circumstances for her, there are not any. And as others say better now than later. Tell her not to do it again and just do her best in the test and that embarrassment is something everyone feels now and again and it will fade.

And lastly, there is a massive teacher shortage - appreciate she has a teacher and don't complain over something and nothing.

We don’t.

I’m not new to teaching.

She disobeyed clear exam instructions. It's a lesson. She wasn't humiliated.

Has the op buggered off?

This! Spot on @justgotosleepffs

So, after you've found out what's caused them to bully the shit out of another kid what do you do with them?

Then your school sounds awful