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Original poster

Lo! The ultimate cheeky fucker has been found

318 replies

learieonthewildmoor · 28/10/2022 15:04

A friend of mine died suddenly a few weeks ago. He had separated from his wife last year and had made a will.
He had been invited to a wedding next year. The mother of the bride texted his ex-wife asking that money from his estate be used to buy a gift for the couple.

Everyone who knew and loved him is still reeling from his death. But the important thing for this woman is her daughter still gets a gift from him. How in the name of all that is good and holy would you ask that?
My friend, God love him, was a tight bastard and would have been buying the cheapest thing on the registry; which makes it even worse somehow.

OP posts:
gettingolderandgrumpier · 28/10/2022 18:30

Figgygal · 28/10/2022 15:30

Well she's disgusting

Agreed , you can laugh at the cf of it but actually it’s quite disgusting to even ask never mind think. I’d just reply with ‘seriously wtf is wrong with you!!!

Loachworks · 28/10/2022 18:34

Yes, you win and I've read the Mexican house thief, the audacity of the woman. Is she a bit odd generally because she can't think this is normal behaviour. Are you sure it's true?

thebellagio · 28/10/2022 18:43

Fireballxl5 · 28/10/2022 18:27

Charities are awful.
My friend was executor of a relatives will and two charities were bequeathed money.
Friend informed the charities and they didn’t stop hounding him until probate finally allowed the money to be released.
For that reason I won’t leave any money to a charity in my will.

Show quote history

Yes we’ve had experience of this as well.

Did you know if you leave a proportion of your property to charity, the charity has the right until day of exchange to stop the whole property sale if they believe that the property sale value should be higher?

we had issues where the EA deliberately overpriced the value of the property by £75-£100k (claiming developers would want it). When it eventually sold for the expected house value (comparable to neighbours), we had to have a formal letter written by the EA explaining why they had originally overpriced it by so much and why the accepted offer should stand else the charity had the right to stop the sale of the property.

if you leave a set sum (rather than a percentage), they can’t interfere.

Original poster
learieonthewildmoor · 28/10/2022 18:50

Loachworks: I’m sure. Neither his ex-wife or the friend who relayed it to me are the kind of people who make stuff up for shits and giggles. Who could conceive of it, anyway? Not even someone on reddit!

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 28/10/2022 18:53

I would never donate to Marie curie or macmillan after what I saw with dh.

Ponderingwindow · 28/10/2022 18:59

What she should do is ignore the request.

what the request deserves is to be screenshot and made viral without the MOBs name redacted

LeMoo · 28/10/2022 19:01

Fluffycloudland77 · 28/10/2022 18:53

I would never donate to Marie curie or macmillan after what I saw with dh.

Sadly, I know someone who feels exactly the same.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/10/2022 19:04

Ihatemyroad · 28/10/2022 16:44

I worked for a charity. One of the participants died shortly after taking part in a challenge event. The charity hounded his wife for his fundraising money. It was awful. He had a target of £1,500 and they kept calling, emailing, writing to her until eventually she turned up at the office with something like £800 and said she’d been so busy dealing with everything and she didn’t feel comfortable chasing people for their sponsorship money now he was dead. Awful awful behaviour by the charity.

I agree with @LadyMonicaBaddingham - please name and shame the charity. I would not want to support a charity that acts so heartlessly.

TheCurseOfBoris · 28/10/2022 19:05

Crikey, even the excuse of dying is not enough for some people! I bet she's really put out that he's upset the seating plan too. FFS.

DPMismyfavouritecolour · 28/10/2022 19:12

Wow, there's some disturbing things mentioned here about charities hounding estates and therefore grieving relatives for monies. While they might be legally able to do that, even obliged to, in terms of obtaining donations for their purposes, people might want to look into reporting them to the Charity Commission. They may be interested in whether such aggressive behavious sits well with the "fit and proper persons" criteria and other aspects of charity law, e.g. the general principle of "acting with honesty and integrity". Perhaps I am stretching the legal definitions, but it may be worth investigating that. Worst they can say is, no it's fine for a charity to do that. And the Commission is obliged to maintain and promote public trust in charities, so if you do want to press the point, tell them it's about one of the Commission's own "statutory functions".

Anyway, sorry for your loss OP, and everyone else's sad experiences.

Wouldcouldcantwont · 28/10/2022 19:13

I'd respond with , "Dear CF, thank you for your heartfelt condolences. As I'm sure you are aware we are all devastated. His estate will be distributed according to his will, however as he will no longer be able to attend the wedding you save on meal. Please delete my number. "

2020nymph · 28/10/2022 19:14

Notanotherwindow · 28/10/2022 15:47

I have a similarly grabby aunt. My mother has instructed me that upon her death, should my aunt still be alive and ask for anything of hers, I am to gift her the oldest pair of knickers I can find.

I frigging love this!!

twinmum2007 · 28/10/2022 19:30

learieonthewildmoor · 28/10/2022 15:22

And she did it by text! His ex- wife hasn’t replied: what on earth would you say to that?

Either reply WTF? Or, 'um. I'll put it on the list of things to sort out' And then ignore. FOREVER

Sundayvibes · 28/10/2022 19:32

Surely this isn’t true

Shutuplouis · 28/10/2022 19:35

I know a situation where person A left their house an a substantial amount of money & shares in Trust to allow their disabled adult son to stay in the house and be looked after. When the son dies the house & any money left goes to a charity. The charity were informed when A died as the charity will be a beneficiary in the end. The charity writes to the trustees asking for share valuations every year. Son could live for a long time yet.

Birdsofafeatherflocktogether · 28/10/2022 19:45

Someone I knew had helped care for his grandad on grandads death bed
grandad was really ill-coming up to being on his deathbed
my friends aunt (who hadn’t bothered with grandad for years) came bursting through the hospital doors and got to grandads bed
’so,can I have his car then?’ Where the first words out of her mouth
the poor guy took another 3 weeks to actually die-and she rang his daughter (my friends mum) every single day to ask if she could have this bloody car

the family sold it and aunt threatened to sue them!

supersop60 · 28/10/2022 19:48

Just send the bride and groom a With Sympathy card. Sympathy that they have to deal with such a vile DM/IL

glassfully · 28/10/2022 19:55

DPMismyfavouritecolour · 28/10/2022 19:12

Wow, there's some disturbing things mentioned here about charities hounding estates and therefore grieving relatives for monies. While they might be legally able to do that, even obliged to, in terms of obtaining donations for their purposes, people might want to look into reporting them to the Charity Commission. They may be interested in whether such aggressive behavious sits well with the "fit and proper persons" criteria and other aspects of charity law, e.g. the general principle of "acting with honesty and integrity". Perhaps I am stretching the legal definitions, but it may be worth investigating that. Worst they can say is, no it's fine for a charity to do that. And the Commission is obliged to maintain and promote public trust in charities, so if you do want to press the point, tell them it's about one of the Commission's own "statutory functions".

Anyway, sorry for your loss OP, and everyone else's sad experiences.

One of the worst I saw in a 3 month stint working in a probate department was from comic relief. A man died and left £5,000 to a few family members ( £25,000 total). The rest of his estate was to be split between comic relief and McMillan. The family decided to auction his household belongings with no reserve to keep probate moving. In total each charity received close to £200,000 (most from his bank accounts). When the estate accounts were sent, together with the donation, someone from McMillan returned a lovely handwritten card thanking the family and detailing how the money would be used to help their charity. Comic Relief sent a typed letter expressing their disappointment in what they had received. They listed everything sold at auction and said thing like "our research shows that an LG x-model tv sells for £400 second hand yet you accepted £350". In total, they decided that £10,000 of the money they received should have been around £14,000 (ignoring the additional costs of a solicitor at £250 per hour managing probate while trying to get what they thought was a fair price, instead of progressing quickly). Comic Relief paid someone to sit there for a day or two and google every single item sold at auction so they could complain about what they received. That oak wardrobe from the 90s? Oh yes, they googled that and decided it should have been £80, not £65. The family were sent the card from McMillan but were told the letter from comic relief would be upsetting and why. They agreed that they didn't want a copy. I've never donated to them since. It still makes me angry 10 years later.

AnApparitionQuipped · 28/10/2022 19:59

glassfully · 28/10/2022 19:55

One of the worst I saw in a 3 month stint working in a probate department was from comic relief. A man died and left £5,000 to a few family members ( £25,000 total). The rest of his estate was to be split between comic relief and McMillan. The family decided to auction his household belongings with no reserve to keep probate moving. In total each charity received close to £200,000 (most from his bank accounts). When the estate accounts were sent, together with the donation, someone from McMillan returned a lovely handwritten card thanking the family and detailing how the money would be used to help their charity. Comic Relief sent a typed letter expressing their disappointment in what they had received. They listed everything sold at auction and said thing like "our research shows that an LG x-model tv sells for £400 second hand yet you accepted £350". In total, they decided that £10,000 of the money they received should have been around £14,000 (ignoring the additional costs of a solicitor at £250 per hour managing probate while trying to get what they thought was a fair price, instead of progressing quickly). Comic Relief paid someone to sit there for a day or two and google every single item sold at auction so they could complain about what they received. That oak wardrobe from the 90s? Oh yes, they googled that and decided it should have been £80, not £65. The family were sent the card from McMillan but were told the letter from comic relief would be upsetting and why. They agreed that they didn't want a copy. I've never donated to them since. It still makes me angry 10 years later.

Show quote history

Post the letter on their Twitter (redacting identifying info) the next time they have an appeal.

MrsMacnair · 28/10/2022 20:03

If I was In that situation then Id definitely send a ouija board and a card from moonpig with his portrait on saying “You can Thank me Later”

Im wondering if the bride and groom even know about this or whether the MOTB has taken it upon herself to request this of her own bat.

My step Nan used to do shit like this she loved to make decisions on behalf of other family members, without the knowledge of the the family involved.
A regular trick of hers was to uninvite various family members from birthday parties, weddings and christenings without the knowledge of the invitee.

I’ve no idea if she still behaves this way as I haven’t seen her for 8 years but wouldn’t surprise me.

42isthemeaning · 28/10/2022 20:07

That is the cheekiest fuckwittery I've ever read of or heard of.
I would say he can't go, therefore no gift required - cheeky fucker!!

Hesma · 28/10/2022 20:12

I agree… he’s a total CF for dying before buying!

Honestly… the nerve of some people 🙄

WednesdaysChild11 · 28/10/2022 20:26

That is fucking terrible, tell her! I'll tell her lol.

BitossiBlues · 28/10/2022 20:31

After my late MIL died, two of the BILs had a fight (fisticuffs and everything!) in our kitchen, because they couldn't agree on who should get our house. MIL lived with us, in our house! Some of them were caught trying to make of with things that belonged to me and had nothing to do with MIL.

She would have been deeply ashamed to see her own children behaving that way. I'm sure I don't need to add that the ones shouting and throwing punches had done exactly nothing to help with her care.

Bloody hell, @BigglyBee , what on earth made them think your house belonged to their mother? Did your husband intervene?

I knew a lady who moved in with her boyfriend into his house, and brought with her a number of pieces of heirloom furniture inherited from her own grandparents. When the boyfriend died suddenly, his family swooped in, threw her out and stopped her taking her furniture. His family knew full well the furniture didn't belong to the deceased man, but refused to hand it over anyway.The matter ended up in court, but she lost her furniture because she couldn't prove the pieces were hers and not his.

PS5Gamer · 28/10/2022 20:31

Middle finger emoji. Then block the number.

Sorry for your loss OP.