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Original poster

Should a very noisy baby be taken outside?

174 replies

BlueBar · 27/10/2022 17:15

I don't know where I stand on this one actually.

I've been out for lunch. It was busy and there was quite a hubbub of background noise/chat, certainly not silent.

There was one table of two couples with young children and (presumably) grandparents. One child, I'd say around a year old was very noisy. High pitched screeching. She wasn't being naughty, she wasn't crying, she was happy/excited. I realise it's practically impossible to stop a child that age making a noise, but would you expect one of the adults to have taken her out of the room for a while?

Or, she's only a baby, it's hard, let them all enjoy their meal.

FWIW, none of them seemed troubled by the noise, if anything they were enjoying/encouraging it and maybe that's the right thing to do with a happy baby? It was ear piercing though and continued for quite a while.

OP posts:
AnApparitionQuipped · 27/10/2022 17:20

What was the venue - was it family friendly (children's menu, play area etc)? I think type of venue would affect my expectations in this scenario.

superram · 27/10/2022 17:20

It’s not ok and shouldn’t be encouraged. I don’t mind babies crying though I think they should be removed but screeching needs a form no and then the behaviour ignored not encouraged. I would have removed mine if it continued more than a few minutes but I’m not selfish, many others are.

Ponderingwindow · 27/10/2022 17:21

anyone being exceptionally loud should step out until they can return to a normal volume level. That means when dining out with a young child, sometimes you have to be ready to step outside for a bit. It’s annoying, but necessary. It also holds true for people who need to take a phone call and speak loudly enough to be heard, someone having an exceptionally loud and long coughing fit (that would be my asthmatic dd on occasion), someone who can’t stop sneezing and has sneezes that will burst ear drums (that would be me and my allergies). If you know you are doing something disruptive, excuse yourself as soon as you are able, handle it, then return.

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Original poster
BlueBar · 27/10/2022 17:22

It was an afternoon tea type place. This was the only table with children apart from one mum having a "sophisticated" tea with a pre teen.

OP posts:
ShellGrotto · 27/10/2022 17:22

screeching needs a form no and then the behaviour ignored not encouraged

Yes, because that works so well on babies of a year old.

HailAdrian · 27/10/2022 17:23

Should be seen and not heard, I say.

therubbiliser · 27/10/2022 17:24

I would have taken my baby outside in the circumstances described. It is not very sociable to leave a baby crying around other people because people mostly find babies crying distressing too. It isn’t always possible or reasonable to take them out but when you can I think you should. My husband and I had many many dinners out with young kids that involved one person eating while the other pushed a buggy outside. It is one of those things with babies that you just get on with.

BeanieTeen · 27/10/2022 17:25

Tricky. I don’t think taking them out would be the way to solve this. I think the problem is the adults were encouraging it - babies squeal when excited but there isn’t really anything to get that excited about at a lunch table unless the adults are making it so. The baby will do it for communication and the positive reaction they are getting. It’s a parent problem, not a baby problem. Sometimes people are just oblivious - I’m very sympathetic when kids cry, I’ve been there many times! But we recently sat near someone who’s baby was banging cutlery on the table and thought it was hilarious. I don’t get it.

KnickerlessParsons · 27/10/2022 17:25

Absolutely. In that situation it's not fair on other customers.

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 27/10/2022 17:26

I would have asked to be moved tbh. Very entitled and performance parenting. Boils me.
Ds took me for lunch at a very decent pub. Sat opposite were a young couple with triplet toddler girls. My heart sank. They behaved impeccably. If 1 was fidgeting one of the dps took hmem to the loo or outside... Very low key lunch.

Bestofthree · 27/10/2022 17:26

Absolutely annoying child in a cafe yesterday. He was a baby/toddler and was clearly bored after being there for ages while his mum chatted. She should have entertained him or taken him to a park. The hubbub of the cafe felt so peaceful after she left. Thank god. We've all had kids - she needs manners.

HenryHenrietta · 27/10/2022 17:27

The thing is when they're that age, they're only really disruptive (to me) when they're unhappy, so if she was happy I'd generally be inclined to keep her where she was...taking her away might have resulted in screaming which is way worse.

But if it was loud enough and persistent enough that it was really disruptive then yes, she should have been taken outside for a minute or they could have distracted her somehow

CottonSock · 27/10/2022 17:29

Squealing does my head in. Would not have been happy.

taybert · 27/10/2022 17:29

That’s a noise happy one year olds make. I couldn’t get worked up about it to be honest. I’d have probably been smiling at her and thinking how relieved the parents are probably feeling that she was chilled out for their meal out. We sat on a table next to a right bragging twat of a bloke the other evening, give me a happy toddler any day.

I think it’s a real shame we live in a country where people have to worry about this stuff. I think we’d all be much happier if we accepted that children are humans and exist and sometimes do things.

NeedWineNow · 27/10/2022 17:30

Ponderingwindow · 27/10/2022 17:21

anyone being exceptionally loud should step out until they can return to a normal volume level. That means when dining out with a young child, sometimes you have to be ready to step outside for a bit. It’s annoying, but necessary. It also holds true for people who need to take a phone call and speak loudly enough to be heard, someone having an exceptionally loud and long coughing fit (that would be my asthmatic dd on occasion), someone who can’t stop sneezing and has sneezes that will burst ear drums (that would be me and my allergies). If you know you are doing something disruptive, excuse yourself as soon as you are able, handle it, then return.

I agree with this. I sometimes get caught with a tickle in my throat which results in a major and prolonged coughing fit. I always excuse myself and either go outside or to the ladies until I have recovered so as not to disturb people.

taybert · 27/10/2022 17:37

I think I’m from another planet sometimes.

ShellGrotto · 27/10/2022 17:38

therubbiliser · 27/10/2022 17:24

I would have taken my baby outside in the circumstances described. It is not very sociable to leave a baby crying around other people because people mostly find babies crying distressing too. It isn’t always possible or reasonable to take them out but when you can I think you should. My husband and I had many many dinners out with young kids that involved one person eating while the other pushed a buggy outside. It is one of those things with babies that you just get on with.

But isn't the point here that this baby wasn't crying, it was making loud, happy noises. So it's purely a matter of decibels, not distress making other people stressed.

Personally I can't get exercised about babies making a non-distressed racket. The UK has a deeply weird, bosom-hoiky attitude to babies and children in public places.

AnApparitionQuipped · 27/10/2022 17:46

BlueBar · 27/10/2022 17:22

It was an afternoon tea type place. This was the only table with children apart from one mum having a "sophisticated" tea with a pre teen.

In that case, I would say they should have taken the baby outside if the screeching continued for more than a minute or so.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 27/10/2022 17:50

Squealing does my head in

Same. I lived in Asia for 10 years. I didn’t hear one squeal in a restaurant, it was glorious 😂

LaurieFairyCake · 27/10/2022 17:50

There is nothing worse than that screeching noise children make

I can't bear it, cuts right through me

Bbq1 · 27/10/2022 17:50

BlueBar · 27/10/2022 17:15

I don't know where I stand on this one actually.

I've been out for lunch. It was busy and there was quite a hubbub of background noise/chat, certainly not silent.

There was one table of two couples with young children and (presumably) grandparents. One child, I'd say around a year old was very noisy. High pitched screeching. She wasn't being naughty, she wasn't crying, she was happy/excited. I realise it's practically impossible to stop a child that age making a noise, but would you expect one of the adults to have taken her out of the room for a while?

Or, she's only a baby, it's hard, let them all enjoy their meal.

FWIW, none of them seemed troubled by the noise, if anything they were enjoying/encouraging it and maybe that's the right thing to do with a happy baby? It was ear piercing though and continued for quite a while.

We had similar in a bistro style restaurant yesterday. Mixed tables group of older ladies, couple of tables with young children etc. I was having lunch with my ds,17. There were 2 men and a woman with a toddler - about a year old. It was really screeching continually and very loudly in a happy way but they were encouraging it by saying boo etc. At the table next to ours there was a lad of about 16 wearing in ear headphones. I think they were in place of on ear defenders. Every time the baby screeched the boy turned round and looked jumpy and uncomfortable. He and his dad left quite quickly. I love to see babies happy and their family interacting with them. However, there's a time and a place and I don't believe in encouraging children to be noisy in a public dining situation where other people are trying to relax/may be noise sensitive.

bringincrazyback · 27/10/2022 17:53

I don't even understand why this is a question. Of course the baby should have been taken outside out of consideration for others.

gamerchick · 27/10/2022 17:56

therubbiliser · 27/10/2022 17:24

I would have taken my baby outside in the circumstances described. It is not very sociable to leave a baby crying around other people because people mostly find babies crying distressing too. It isn’t always possible or reasonable to take them out but when you can I think you should. My husband and I had many many dinners out with young kids that involved one person eating while the other pushed a buggy outside. It is one of those things with babies that you just get on with.

Baby wasn't crying. It was happy.

I think they should be removed but screeching needs a form no and then the behaviour ignored not encouraged

LOL

BogRollBOGOF · 27/10/2022 17:56

It's not fair on others in the vincinity to encourage a young child to make ear-splitting noises. For some people it is literally painful.

A happy baby is normally a lovely sight, but shrieking noises do not need encouraging.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 27/10/2022 17:58

bringincrazyback · 27/10/2022 17:53

I don't even understand why this is a question. Of course the baby should have been taken outside out of consideration for others.

This. I don't understand anyone who wouldn't have taken a child out in those circumstances. It's such selfish behaviour from the adults looking after the child.