Should a very noisy baby be taken outside?

[BlueBar]

I don't know where I stand on this one actually.

I've been out for lunch. It was busy and there was quite a hubbub of background noise/chat, certainly not silent.

There was one table of two couples with young children and (presumably) grandparents. One child, I'd say around a year old was very noisy. High pitched screeching. She wasn't being naughty, she wasn't crying, she was happy/excited. I realise it's practically impossible to stop a child that age making a noise, but would you expect one of the adults to have taken her out of the room for a while?

Or, she's only a baby, it's hard, let them all enjoy their meal.

FWIW, none of them seemed troubled by the noise, if anything they were enjoying/encouraging it and maybe that's the right thing to do with a happy baby? It was ear piercing though and continued for quite a while.

Aw I love a happy baby crow 😍

Completely agree.

I'd find it extremely irritating. I'd expect a baby that was making a racket to be taken outside.

I had four kids and I would never have made everyone else put up with excessive noise.

Really loud adults are annoying too but their is something about a squealing baby or child that's extra annoying.

That's not appropriate for an afternoon tea place. I would have a word with the staff there and make sure that they know you will not be staying if the noise doesn't cease.

And i wouldn't be paying if i had to leave early due to the noise. If it's screeching take it out. We all did that when ours were babies and they made noise, we shouldn't have to put up with anyone else's babies making a racket like that.

What a bloody miserable bunch you all are. There is nothing more joyful than the sound of a happy baby. Honestly how are you all on a site that celebrate mums but constantly berate them for their tiny children even making a noise?

happy gurgly baby? fine. Screeching? no. Just stop it. We get it, you're great! you reproduced! first fucking baby ever! nope. But i have stopped even attempting to ask people in the uk to can it with the super noisy stuff. I call management over and tell them I'm leaving, i'm not happy to pay because my meal was ruined because they don't have the nous to stop noisy customers.

I've been in Michelin starred restaurants in other countries, with children in them - doesn't ruin the experience because if they're noisy, they are removed. But in the UK you aren't allowed to ask anyone to stop being an annoying fucking pain.

Because it's an entirely different situation?

Ok, I'm going to be the dickhead here.

I'm an autistic adult, and I'm very sensitive to high pitched sounds or consistent loud noise.

If there is too much loud noise I'll leave. But I find I'm always faced with parents of children or others that will never compromise regardless of the affects on others.

So I'm always the one that leaves. Is that fair? Do you think your child should always stay regardless of how much they could be disturbing others, including other people with special needs?

I had this conversation recently on an autism forum. I'm very sensitive to noise. I end up covering my ears, and other people call me rude. If I put ear defenders on I'm called rude.

What do I do? Always leave? I'm perfectly ok with social situations where the sound is normal volume, but I can't cope with too much noise. I've covered my ears before and been shouted at by a woman with a child making lots of noise because the child is autistic.

I'm also autistic. It often feels like different ends of the spectrum are at war with each other, and we can't coexist without offending each other.

What do we do?

Entitled parenting. I would have taken my baby out of that situation. How excruciating that some people think others are happy to endure their screeching baby on a special day out. 🤬

Oh dear! 😮

@ElizabethBest my children also has asn. But I go to family friendly restaurants because unlike you I'm not an asshole.

I think intolerant older people should get out of the restaurant.

I’d love sitting next to a happy baby making happy baby noises. Part of beautiful life.

Oh yeah, one must NEVER deviate from the original post on an internet forum!

but would you expect one of the adults to have taken her out of the room for a while?

Yes, they should have. Baby chatter fine, high pitched screeching is not. For everybody’s sake, including the child’s. Over excited children need calming down.

And actually, why is it so different? Making loud noises is making loud noises.

I think you need to read the room. Sometimes you can't stop a child from being noisy but you also can't expect them and their parents to not go out etc.
For me if my child was playing up massively the whole time I would leave. I also wouldn't want to or them in an uncomfortable position.
If it's a little winge now and again then that's harmless.

I can't STAND that screechy noise babies make. It cuts right through me. To me it sounds like microphone feedback and it stops every conversation dead.

Of course it should have been removed to calm down.

Oh god. How sickly sweet and indulgent.

They can screech all they want in places designed for children that like to screech. I wouldn't have any cause for complaint at noise in such a place because that's a reasonable adult response.

They don't belong in every god damn place; that's just entitlement

It does though.

Doesn’t mean that said 1yo is going to be silent. Nor does it say that you should punish the child etc…
But nit encouraging the screeching and encouraging speaking gently is usually enough for a 1yo to get a message and avoid a child making noise at the top of their voice.

@BlueBar I’d have been annoyed at the encouragement from the parents and grand parents tbh. The fact the child wasn’t silent is not surprising (one can discuss whether the pace was appropriate). But encouraging a 1yo to be noisy isn’t on.

I completely agree.

I am also autistic and have damaged hearing in one ear, so I try to be selective when going out to eat or socialise (none of those places with bloody industrial ceilings and no noise dampening, for example).

Technically, I have not one, but two hidden disabilities. When does your kid's right to shriek override my ability to enjoy a meal in relative comfort? Who is in the right?

God you're a miserable lot! Crying or wailing in an upset way fair enough, take them.out to settle them but if they're happy why do they or the family have any less right to have a nice time out than you do?
Is it any wonder so many mums have anxiety about going out with their babies with such a judgmental population.

Yes. Very noisy anyone. Crying, tantruming, anything should be removed out of respect to others.

Of course you can't stop a baby doing that screechy noise out of excitement with discipline . Babies don't understand and they will do what they gotta do.

But other people in a confined public space do not want to hear it! It's bad enough in a supermarket ffs! In a restaurant a parent needs to think about the other diners and take responsibility for the disruption their children are causing and act accordingly.

I’d say take a crying / angry shouting baby out asap, but the occasional shriek of joy? No, one or two shrieks is adorable - although really the parents should start calming down whatever is causing the shriek.

This.

Small children noise is understandable until the point where it's actually second hand parent/ grandparent / other caregiver noise.

I used to childmind and could keep three under three fairly quiet and calm in a cafe - irritating noise always comes from groups with multiple adults per child, because the adults actually compete to get the child to respond to them noisily.