Should a very noisy baby be taken outside?

[BlueBar]

I don't know where I stand on this one actually.

I've been out for lunch. It was busy and there was quite a hubbub of background noise/chat, certainly not silent.

There was one table of two couples with young children and (presumably) grandparents. One child, I'd say around a year old was very noisy. High pitched screeching. She wasn't being naughty, she wasn't crying, she was happy/excited. I realise it's practically impossible to stop a child that age making a noise, but would you expect one of the adults to have taken her out of the room for a while?

Or, she's only a baby, it's hard, let them all enjoy their meal.

FWIW, none of them seemed troubled by the noise, if anything they were enjoying/encouraging it and maybe that's the right thing to do with a happy baby? It was ear piercing though and continued for quite a while.

I think it depends on the context and situation. I always took my babies out immediately if they were imposing on other people.

All of this.
People just don't give a shit about others any more.

I had this the other day, I was out having a lovely and quite expensive Italian meal with my friend who I don't get to see a lot and a family with 4 very young children came in.
They screeched and screamed for 2 hours, the mother was constantly loudly scraping her chair to and fro to take one of them to the bathroom.
She looked super pissed off, the father looked oblivious and didn't move once to look after his kids and the entire restaurant was pissed off.
I would have thought McDonalds would have been more suitable for them than a fancy restaurant.

Did anyone ask them to try to keep thier children quiet?

Why are so many posters saying it’s ‘miserable’ to not enjoy loud screeching?

Never make the poverty wage staff deal with other peoples parenting (or lack of) choices. There’s nothing they can do, and the adults tend to leave scathing reviews.

Rather than taking outside they should have been actively distracting the baby - it's fine to take kids places but you need to accept you can't just carry on as if they aren't there, they need entertaining, bouncing on knee and yes walking around outside. And no you shouldn't hand the baby an iPhone with the noise on either!

I do believe the choice to produce children involves trade offs, one of which is that when the kids are at shrieking age, parents just have to forego restaurants, leisurely strolls round IKEA, stately homes etc unless they get a babysitter.

It's only for a few years. And it's not "entitled " to expect basic consideration.

Tell me a country where this sort of noise in an adult setting is encouraged. It certainly isn’t in France or Italy. Quiet children, smiled at and welcome. Noisy
babies, sat outside.

Reading some of these comments it's pretty likely IMHO that some posters are noisy people themselves and therefore don't get it. And never will.

Silly posters? I have misophonia, certain sounds make me feel panicky . A baby isn't a paying customer they take up space, make noise, make a mess and barely eat/drink anything from the cafe, a lot a parents bring thier baby's food from home.

@pinkyredrose I always order food from the menu as well as a coffee, and I leave a tip.

My 4 months old shrieks, I only went to a cafe once with him. I stopped going because of looks. I barely go anywhere now, I'm scared of people tutting.
I only went to one mums group and one coffee catch up, as I'm scared people will judge me.

I distract my DS so much and rock, pat him constantly. I bring him toys. He is a 'high energy baby' as described by child health nurse.
I was quietly telling him 'shhh' but he had no idea what I was going on about.

What can mums like me do?

This will annoy some but it’s true .
This anti baby and child sentiment is such a cultural thing , people would be horrified about someone complaining about a baby in Spain , Portugal , Italy , Cyprus etc . Children are seen as an important part of family therefore part of their outings and meals . When I say to friends abroad there are child pre restaurants they are horrified . People tolerate children so much better than in the U.K.

All of the above you mention . Nobody would say anything to a crying baby in France or Italy and maybe their older kids are less disruptive because they are taken to restaurants since they are babies ?? The U.K. is so anti children at times that children never quite grasp social norms until much older

So much of mumsnet is just people forgetting that the flip side of consideration is tolerance.

Trying enjoying the existence of other people around you. Honestly, try it. Warm your cold lonely hearts.

I think the difference is that the likes of Spain etc. Still have a "takes a village to raise a child" mentality.
If you scold a child for tearing around a restaurant here, you'd get an earful.
I've simply not witnessed that behaviour in other countries.

The staff didn't and I certainly didn't as the mother looked like she would punch anyone who looked at her. The kids weren't doing anything wrong. It was just not a suitable place for very young children.

I do think that sometimes children are tolerated more in these countries but I can tell you that excessive screaming certainly isn't.

You can keep a child happy without encouraging them to scream.

You seem to he extrapolating a lot from my post.

The adults doing the encouraging are the problem here. Fine at home but show some self awareness when out that someone else's baby squealing is not cute!!

That's a very good point. It's all about entitlement really. If they know their baby is squealy, either don't take them to a formal afternoon tea type place or take them out for a bit to calm them if they start squealing. Certainly don't encourage them.

It's not fair for those people who want to have an adult experience to have nowhere they can go, and there are plenty of suitable places for people with young kids.

I think those on here who think it's acceptable, are those parents. I remember a crying baby in church and the parents weren't making any moves to take the baby out, until the priest told them to. It's just not right.

You need the common sense to know when your baby/child needs to reduce the volume. As a mother, I know babies have their moments, but consideration for other patrons should be given, when the crying is going on and on.

A happy baby, doesn't mean other customers should be subjected to extended periods of high level noise.

Yes they should have done something. They could have distracted her or taken her outside for a bit or whatever.

I'm in two minds about this - I think children need to be exposed to social situations to learn how to behave. But yes, if they are being annoying to others, they need to be taken outside. That's also part of learning to behave.

They should be taught how to behave at home, at the family dining table. Not in public at the expense of others.