Did covid screw anyone else's life up?

[girlmeetsboy]

Interested to hear on this as I have been reading a thread where people loved the solidarity of it all. For me it was redundancy, house lost, business lost and savings...

These posts are heartbreaking.

I personally wasn't affected apart from a bad reaction to the vaccinations, I refuse to have any more. The lack of reporting of effects of lockdown/long covid etc. is deliberate the government won't admit they were wrong.

This is the only thread that I’ve read in it’s entirety. It’s so sad how many people are are still affected. I’m have 2 small children who were and still are affected by the closure of schools. I will never forget a conversation I had with a teacher at the very beginning who was incredulous that teachers should be put at such a risk by having to teach the likes of my children who were at the time made out to be the “silent spreaders” of Covid. She couldn’t see the potential damage that could be done to children by missing school far outweighed the risks to teachers getting infected yet had absolutely no issue with the fact that I should risk my health and still go to work in my job in a supermarket. It was amazing how many teachers “risked” infection and spent their lockdown days shopping - I guess they had nothing better to do.

I am truly sorry for those that lost people due to covid and those that lost anything due to the reaction, it's absolutely devastating, I am one of the lucky ones that like everyone I know didn't lose anyone due to covid. But everyone I know has lost someone or something due to the reaction. It's a shame that it was believed that we were following the science when science is always questioning itself. We like most countries followed payed for scientists, their duty wasn't to save but to collect, most of the scientific team pushing our government (and many others I believe) were behavioural scientists, deciding the best way to keep us in line. The data that was used has been widely flawed even before this and the program the NF used has been disregard by most computer analysists for many years. The elderly and vulnerable that I know feel distraught that they have been robbed of 2 years of their life and the younger generation are psychological scarred and will be paying for this mistake for years! I really wish any of these measures did help as at least there would be some positives as a generation to think we did something but unfortunately there are none. We now have a massive national debt to pay back, an undereducated youth with less life skills, an elderly generation older before their time, a huge caseload of late diagnosed cancers, a multitude of mh cases and a fragmented society due to snitching encouraged, mask wearing ( shouting against those who didn't and now those who did) , a massive distrust against the police and the NHS, and a now an even more anger issues against each other! Most of this was avoidable, it's heartbreaking to actually see what you were terrified of happening becoming reality 😔 xx

DD did much better at school and in exams during lockown. She was wishing before all of it to do her exact same school work bt at home, and she got her wish! It has affected her, and all kids I think, on the social side which is hard to snap out of.

For me, I was watching everyone at home twiddling their thumbs while I had 10 times ore work to do to stay afloat due to working for myself in an industry whi h was badly hit, no grants etc.

I dont think I remember what I did with my life before covid tho?

I’m really saddened to hear lots of your awful outcomes from covid; so many have had a dreadful time.
While I haven’t personally been at all affected by the actual being ill part of it, or indeed anyone in my family,nor the financial issues, I have now got a pretty bad eating disorder, and am dangerously underweight as a result of my crazy fears around food availability a during lockdown. It was always bubbling under the surface but covid definitely brought it all out.

It’s screwed up ds3’s mental health, even his teachers have said he’s like a completely different child.

ds1(asd) also had a massive crisis over lockdown that he is now over, but had such a huge impact on me that I am not over it.

ds2 seems unaffected, but he is very easy going and takes everything in his stride anyway.

dh has only just (in the last month or two) stopped washing the shopping and insisting on quarantine shelves in the fridge, even though I’ve refused to wash anything for literally years! It has done my fucking head in!

im the only one who ever had a +ve test although I suspect we’ve all had it.
I still can’t exercise to my previous levels because my lung function isn’t what it used to be, which is shit because pre-covid I was working towards stopping being a sahm and having a career where fitness and lung function were key, I was on track before covid but now I don’t think I’ll make it.

dh is now working from home permanently, he loves it, I don’t. Even though I don’t see much of him squirrelled away in his upstairs office, he’s still in the house, he doesn’t deliberately impose on anything, but he’s just ‘there’ and could appear at anytime.When he was at work and dc were at school, home was my sanctuary, my guaranteed quiet/ alone space and time without interruption, I need this but no longer have it.

I realise my problems are quite trivial to what some people have gone through though.

Yep, 2 year relationship with 0
arguments and not a crossed word, hit 2020, both wfh, living seperately massive pressure to move in due to guidelines, but resisted by me drifted apart due to lockdowns and health anxiety. Dumped by text 3 years in.

My mums cancer treatment stopped. She broke a bone in her leg, went into hospital. Caught covid. Came out. Had her home for end of life care. Went back into hospital. Weren't allowed to visit her. She died. Cancer had spread to every bone in her body, her skull, her brain, her liver. On her death certificate they said she died of covid. My dad went mental. She was still testing positive for covid even though covid never actually affected her. With my dads persistence, they changed her death certificate. Only 30 people allowed at her funeral. I'm still so angry, I miss her so much. She was doing well before covid

I’d always felt popular but felt very lonely in lockdown as I felt like I was making an effort to keep in touch with friends but no-one was doing the same for me.

I felt like no-one cared and remember googling one afternoon ‘what to do when no-one cares about you’. It was a bit melodramatic (I have a DH and two DC who care massively plus a lovely family) but I felt very fragile on the subject of friendships.

Things are more normal now but it always feels like my fragile spot and I think it always will..

Reading these posts is so sad, it really brings home how badly lives were affected.

i gave birth to DS 2 3 days before the first lockdown so I suppose I was lucky in that I had my DH with me during labour.

lockdown started out not too badly, my older 2 got into baking with DH and started Joe Wicks but in May it all went to hell…I was diagnosed stage 4 breast cancer. The following month I was admitted to hospital for 5 days to then be sent home on hospice, I was given a matter of weeks to live. With the diagnosis I was given I genuinely don’t understand why I’m still here.

I finished chemo in October and now have 3 weekly targeted therapy.

All seemed to improve until my DH was diagnosed stage 4 cancer, he battled for 18 months but sadly passed away this year.

My 2 step kids struggle with MH as does my oldest son who is only 10.

honestly I could go on and on, the bad news just feels like a constant in my life.

@Lillianna76 I am so sorry xx

@Padfoot01 - I don't know what to day. How do you live? I hope you are getting help from everywhere! xx

Yeah. I was just thinking about this today.

I lost my job, then spent 18 soul destroying months looking for work. This led to relative poverty, which wasn't that bad, but stressful, and had a massive impact on my relationship with my husband.

I ended up having to do all the housework, which I hate, for the family, breaking down all my feminist intentions of trying not to be the dogsbody.

Then I got so depressed I stopped doing that, the house got cluttered and dirty and I stopped caring.

My teenage daughters developed major mental health issues. My husband got immobilised with serious back pain, for which he got addicted to opiates then withdrawal. I ended up being the carer of first a suicidal paranoid husband then a suicidal daughter behaving recklessly and nearly ending up dead many times.

Every single family visit ended up cancelled because one of us got Covid, and we were isolated hundreds of miles away from family for essentially two years.

Then I finally got a temporary job that has outlasted the six months I was initially commissioned for.

That us despite needing 4 weeks off when three months into that new start, my 18yo daughter attempted suicide, ended up admitted, then got groomed by a criminal of 46 who persuaded her that we were her problem.

She left the unit into his care in a squat and I spent two weeks terrified that she had effectively been kidnapped and would end up raped and/or on drugs. She had told the NHS not to give us any information, so all we got in response to the safeguarding concerns we raised was a patronising "You've got to let them go".

Then my younger daughter started to experience BDD, and was then agoraphobic.

Amidst all this I put on about 2 stone, on top of the 3 stone I needed to lose already.

I now have pre-diabetes to add to the high cholesterol.

On the positive side, somehow we have come through it, and there is always hope. My daughter eventually came home. I got both daughters private therapy with the incone from my new job (the NHS has been criminally negligent and crap).

I'm now on a successful diet and have lost a stone. I've gone part time. I'm studying for a postgrad qualification. My daughters seem to be getting better. My husband and I got closer through adversity.

Yep, I fear what's around the corner and just can't seem to move forward. I put on weight and lost my Dad to Cancer (couldn't say goodbye in person because he lived in Spain). I moved to a new town in 2019 for a fresh start and didn't make any friends before lockdown so it was just me and the kids.
My daughter started self harming (she suffers from anxiety and depression) and council tried to prosecute me for my daughters school attendance.
Covid has had a big impact on my mental health and confidence and hasn't helped with my OCD.

Nothing as yet, the immunologist noticed something on the ECG and has ordered an echo cardiogram (think thats what it is called). But she did say they are seeing a lot of heart/lung inflammation post COVID.

I've always been happy in my own company notwithstanding the fact that I do have lots of family (none nearer than 100 miles away) and a decent circle of local friends.
Covid hasn't impacted my social life other than having had it over the 2019/20 winter, however, I don't eat out much and have limited my theatre going to only two occasions since March.
Being retired with no responsibilities to parents or AC, frees me up to make plans on the spur of the moment and accept last minute invitations.
I hope others find a way of managing their lives post Covid.

I work in a pfs for a supermarket it was hard I broke down coz of my mental health I’m quite a big lady & it was mostly worry that I would get Covid from being at work
some people were rude & leaving money outside so they wouldn’t go into the shop, mostly other key workers shouting why he couldn’t have 5 bottles of wine etc it was sooo stressful I remember crying at the till couldn’t take it anymore
had 2 months off work I’m still taking the antidepressants even now days we’re cut down hours at work so not much coming in my husband is a coach driver as he was off sick the year before as he had a knee operation his money was low
even now our hours are cut I’m doing 3 days a week instead of 5 days & the moans & groans we get every day about how our shop hasn’t got any food in it drives me insane
because there’s one member of staff that drives to store to fill it up which is not enough

It was hard for my oldest who just wanted to be able to stand next to a child or play with in the playground. She did just cry sometimes because the world seemed very daunting and unnatural.
If you look at history, all pandemics seem handled this way, staying indoors and away from people.

It helped me see who was really supportive of me and who i didnt need to associate with anymore. But that was covids fault, that was just the eye opener.
Its affected the kids wanting to go out and theyre happier playing inside no matter the weather. Got to force them or just say we're going out.

Its been devastating to so many, but weve only just started making effort every week to get out there and see it positively.

Yes and no.

I lost the business I had built up for many years and DH and I absolutely shattered by it. Seeing DH having to take whatever shit jobs he could was soul destroying.

My mental health was appalling and I'm someone who usually just gets on with things. I've been left with the hangover of extreme and crippling anxiety. I also went from a size 14 to an 18 and cannot shift that no matter what I do.

It did make me realise I had settled with some of our friendship group and their little nasty sides did become more apparent once lockdowns ended. I found myself sitting in a big group as soon as we were able to all get together and they just grated on me. So I did slim the group down very easily. I took a break from all of them and there was one little group who got nasty and vicious. So they are no longer part of our circle and actually once we ditched the good lot also admitted not being fans of them either.

DS is like a different kid. He's always been very shy, not speaking up and with having SEN and disabilities had been lumped into mid groups for school. He excelled with online learning and was front and centre for online live classes. He likes routine. He was happy to answer questions from the comfort of his pajamas and bedroom because he knew the meaner kids wouldn't take the piss.
He's now been recognised as one of the brightest in his year, one two headteachers awards last year and is finally getting noticed.

DD is the opposite. Previously Uber confident and outgoing, she has retreated. Lost all confidence in every subject. I'm petrified for their GCSEs this year. They have panic attacks and stress has caused severe eczema. The school have been great, I cannot fault them and they have organised tuition (which we couldn't have afforded) and mentoring. They are slowly building up but I worry it's too late. They went to look at a college recently and walked out in tears. They couldn't handle how many people were around. Of course we are doing what we can too but it's soul destroying seeing our formerly happy little teen go to a shadow.

I don't even think the government has a clue how badly this has left people. Not just financially but mental health. My physical health is terrible. I had covid early on, but at a time when widespread testing was a pipe dream and Boris was stil reassuring us all it was nothing to worry about. As a result I don't qualify for the NHS covid health effects testing. If I get a cold now I'm wiped out for days and can't breathe. I think there is scarring on my lungs. I can't walk far or exercise without feeling faint. I get extreme fatigue. But because of the protocol I can't get help.

I feel like the impact it's had on my DD and other students who lived through it has been unforgivably enormous... she has not learnt the lessons of how to "adult" because they learnt they had to stay at home and isolate themselves. She now stays in her room and doesn't socialise. She communicates via tiktoks. I have feared for her life more than once recently. My heart is broken.

This is my daughter exactly locked up at a pivotal time in her life. The damage to our young people is unforgiveable. It makes me so angry.

Mine too. She goes to uni but won't do any social activities. I am hoping time fixes this. Not sure what else I can do really.

@Tabbouleh I'm not even sure mine will be able to go to uni in just under 2 years time. She's getting help but there's just so much damage to repair, if it can even be repaired. I fear for her future.

@dinozzo I'm so incredibly sorry for your terrible loss. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I have 3 sons and call them all “darling boy”. Your comment about your son having given life to 4 others is one of the most poignant and moving things I’ve ever read on mumsnet. I hope you are managing to live well alongside your grief x

I hear you and so feel for you and your DD @Teentrauma. My own DD took a year out to transfer to a uni with better pastoral care ( she already had a chronic illness pre Covid). But even in the new uni she is not very happy. Does the bare minimum but won't do much else. She is getting help but as she is an adult I can't keep micromanaging her. I tell myself it is better than getting drunk every day or taking drugs.

My heart goes out to those pp who have lost DC.

Yes, I’m no longer close with my parents or sister. We used to speak most days and see each other at least once a week. Now have very little to do with each other. This is partly because I’m in a controlling marriage and lockdown allowed it to really cement.
It’s left me unable to enjoy anything or feel bothered about going anywhere - total apathy. So I’ve lost friends too because I can’t be bothered. I’d prefer to just stay in, ideally in bed asleep.
Ive had one failed suicide attempt.
life wasn’t perfect before but I used to be able to plan and enjoy stuff with my family, friends and dc.
Now I just wait for each day to be over and hope I won’t wake up in the morning.