Did covid screw anyone else's life up?

[girlmeetsboy]

Interested to hear on this as I have been reading a thread where people loved the solidarity of it all. For me it was redundancy, house lost, business lost and savings...

I disagree, the hostility was evident.

Anyway it’s derailing a good thread. Just let people tell their stories instead.

Me, I still live in lockdown style, I’m on unpaid leave, we moved a day before lockdown in a panic, I have no friends here, I feel may career has gone down the drain, I was unable to socialise my toddler so he struggles to make friends, I have DP but feel painfully isolated, and I’ve gone from liking my body to not being able to look in the mirror or get into any of my dresses. My child keeps me going but life, work, friends, and all confidence is gone.

For me the lockdowns created visual problems I didn’t have previously (screens + stress), I put loads of weight on and I just can’t get my oomf back and feel depressed constantly. It sounds awful to say this but I had covid recently and it was so so mild and I thought ALL this devastating impact for 99% of people who would have not been affected much at all. Selfish I know but I can’t help it

I think it's been so hard, for so many, and for many many reasons. Much love to all who have struggled through this time, be it with health/mental health, isolation or financial, and to those who have lost someone - whether directly from covid or due to the strain covid put on services.

I worry that covid isn't done with us yet and that it's going to cause many further problems for us, especially with a cost of living crisis ongoing too. So many people cannot afford to get sick, and especially those with their own businesses, on zero hour contracts or those who only get statutory sick pay may struggle if they need to take time off due to being ill or to look after poorly kids. And if people get long covid and can't work any more, that's even worse.

The NHS remains in crisis and there are many reports now of critical incidents, ambulances waiting for 8 hours or more to hand over patients etc etc. It's not all down to covid, but covid is certainly adding to the severe pressures. 800 people are dying a week from it at the moment and it's only October.

This is going to be further impacted by the fact that the majority are now taking no precautions at all and will actually be surprised when they get sick. That's due to government and media messaging that it's over. And so many people don't realise that they can catch it again and it might be worse the next time.

And of course there are loads of viruses rampaging through schools, there's no mitigations at all any more and schools can't even afford the extra heating so that they can open the windows anymore.

Masks have been politicised and those people who are still wearing them are starting to feel self conscious. Meanwhile so many vulnerable older people see no one wearing masks in the supermarket and think that means there's no need to, so they are not wearing them either - but the reality is that no one cares if they pass covid onto them any more. We have stopped looking out for other people.

I just feel really worn down and depressed that it's not over, we are more divided than ever and there is no way that this government is going to give us the support and leadership that we need to get through this winter. If there's one thing you can do to help, it's get your masks back out on the bus, in shops, in health settings. Even if you're not too worried about covid yourself it will support vulnerable people who need to access these settings, protect yourself and the staff (many of whom don't get proper sick pay, especially in shops).

This could be me, also. Sorry to hear it @PurpleWisteria1 , I feel exactly the same.

Personally, I was close to burnout before covid and my heart sank when we were told to stay at home. I have two teenagers with ASD and ADHD. But lockdown saved us all. The boys adapted well and understood the press briefings on tv (it wasn’t me just making it up) and as long as we got our daily for exercise and did virtual sports day, they were great.

My sister, on the other hand, had just been told she was in remission from ovarian cancer. She self isolated and we only saw each other on Zoom. But the cancer returned. Three surgeries were cancelled because of various covid related reasons and she was told this August it was too late. She was given 4-6 months and discharged to hospice care. She had one tumour to be removed and blasted with chemo. Now her body’s her enemy and she needs round the clock care from family because NHS care isn’t available due to demand.

Covid saved me but is killing my sister.

Covid is a fucking bastard.

Got into the habit of drinking more than I should and have never really got out of it.

And this was me as well. I have really struggled to be at peace with this being my experience of becoming a new mum. It was horrendous.
Fast forward two years and I’m now a single parent, lonely, sad and working full time to try and make ends meet. I never ever thought this would be me back in 2019.

In some ways it was a blessing for myself and DS with ASD. He was due to move to High School outside our catchment area, not knowing anyone. There was no way he was going to manage navigating a big school, not knowing anyone. The restrictions made it so much easier for him, confined to one room. Previous to that we coped with home schooling, which brought us so much closer. Gaming kept him in touch with his mates, he loved it. I am a SAHSM so it didn't affect me as such. If anything it actually made me more adventurous - stretching the limits of what was acceptable as 'outdoor exercise'. I tried new things. My DM was CEV but that didn't stop her visiting or us visiting her. Sod that. We took all the precautions but at the end of the day, what was more important, following advice/rules blindly or having a life. I'd still see my follow dog walkers every day for a catch up, standing at a distance.

It's really sad to admit but I saw it as a break from the norm. I hadn't got anything to lose. When you're at the bottom there isn't anywhere else to go - financially.

I hated the face masks. Being severely hard of hearing, the mask wearing and screens are a constant nightmare. It's made me face the fact that I'll never be realistically employable again. I haven't got it in me to try like I used to.
And to top it off, I now actually have Covid. It took me by surprise. I've had the jabs. Why now?

I hope this thread goes in Mumsnet Classics. I am so sorry to all those who have suffered so terribly. What I've read today has really affected me.

Absolutely. And for those saying that we’re now presenting ourselves as brave outliers who had to keep quiet but are now touting the stand we took, you only have to look back at some of the threads that were on here around the time of the first lockdown to see how anyone who said “Hang on, is this a good idea?” was received. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t pretty.

And it wasn’t just Mumsnet, I’m in various FB groups for the sports I do and it continued there as well. Having been ostracised by some people in real life I learned to keep my head down online for fear of losing those relationships as well.

The costs of lockdown may well have been debated but that debate was all but drowned out, so I’m hugely pleased to see people being able to talk openly about those costs. I hope it’s recorded in some way so that we don’t ever wreck lives like this again.

Yes! I was pregnant through lockdown and delivered my daughter before restrictions lifted. I’d had a haemorrhagic shock first time round and almost died so second time round I was petrified! Being at home with two children, one of which was 2, was so tough. My husband is a dentist so had to go into work and even though I could see my mother we chose not to incase my husband brought covid home. It was such an isolating time but we are so thankful we are healthy and well. My friends mother died in hospital after being in there alone for weeks .

I worked as a carer throughout. The early days with no ppe and dying clients were scarey as hell. I caught covid last September and it ruined my life. I have long covid. I can barely walk to the end of my road. I sleep for hours during the day and have been signed off work as disabled. I didnt loose anyone in my family thank the gods. But its taken my life.

At the time I found the first lockdown enjoyable a chance to slow down press reset etc. everyone I knew made a huge effort to get together online zoom birthday parties, quizzes etc. but after the first lockdown the novelty wore off and I found it incredibly isolating. My late teen son now has severe mental health problems triggered by lockdown and no improvement at all 2 years in. It sound like it’s been horrendous for so many 😢

I already had blood cancer which lead to me being CEV so that I had to shield. Then in a routine blood cancer scan (which I attended despite being scared) I was found to also have kidney cancer....I got through by planning lots of things to do in our retirement only to have a brain bleed/ stroke a month before my WFH husband retired....and we lost MIL to covid and had to go to her funeral online.....2022 and I am still stuck at home and still furious that I wasted my last few months

@ArabellaScott thank you so much. Me too ❤️

Yes it led to me having an affair which I will never forgive myself for

Heartbreaking messages on here...
My elderly FIL died with long COVID and it triggered a mental health crisis in my DH which we are still picking through the wreckage of. He is a shell of his former self, has been moody and verbally abusive, refuses treatment and in a nutshell, I don't recognize the man I married. On the surface we are financially doing ok and we welcomed baby DS last year. So it wasn't all bad. But time will tell if our relationship can ever recover.

Reading this thread has made me count my blessings, really. My heart goes out to you all.

I had a comparatively easy time of it as I've always lived in isolation and WFH anyway, so not much changed. Yet the past couple of years has still been dark and depressing. The world just began to feel like a hostile place:
Unfair/blatantly stupid rules set by people we can't trust
Rules changing all the time with no apparent logicPeople behaving like twats
Data manipulations and pseudoscience having a field day
Constant fear of potent new virus mutations
Isolation, no freedom of movement, no change of scene
Relentless focus on illness and death
Fear of healthcare support diminishing
...and that's just a few of the factors at play.

There were times I wondered if we would ever be able to walk freely around the streets again. I rejoice that we can.

I realised earlier this year that I'd somehow stopped enjoying life, which is most unlike me. But I'm gradually getting my mojo back (helped partly by a lot of top-quality free YouTube fitness courses, which seem to have proliferated in the past couple of years). Many of you on this thread, including OP, have real tragedies and losses to contend with, and it must feel absolutely debilitating. Sending you all much love.

I’m sad my parents and in-laws missed my sons tender years it’s irreplaceable time.

I’m a teacher and I think I still struggle from the time everyone else was still locked down but we went back to work…it was truly terrifying. There were still no tests or vaccines and I left my family at home to go to work everyday. Must’ve been the same for all key workers but I was so scared. I guess it all seems silly now but at the time, the news was telling us to stay inside so we didn’t die. I think that’s had more of an affect on me that I admit.

Yes it killed my father. He was deprived of seeing us in his nursing home for 8 weeks before he died to keep him safe. He had Alzheimer’s with challenging behaviours was along with others The were confined to his room. Imagine the fear & then hospital residents not tested for covid were discharged into their home. He and all of his friends died & my mother is existing with a broken heart. It isn’t all about material loss.

Marking place but it has been a pretty shitty few years for us

The NHS Impact

My father went to the a&e at our local supposedly great emergency hospital this year. Three times with something that was clearly not covid.
All times he was sent away with no check ups or blood tests and told to take a covid test again and again

A week later he was dead

If this had happened pre covid I'm pretty certain the life altering issue would have been picked up and dealt with and he'd still be here now

I have lost all and absolute faith in the health system from this

It doesn't seem fit for purpose

Yep, I regained a large amount of weight which I spent years losing, I have struggled with depressive episodes and feel highly strung quite often. My business failed, which I poured my heart and soul into as a single parent with two young DC, which was the only thing giving me financial independence. I am plagued with guilt now, I constantly feel like I am never doing enough, and I feel completely lost with my career path.

In 2019 before the lockdowns I was in such a good place, and feeling really optimistic and positive about the future. I genuinely enjoyed most days. Now my default mood is very flat and a bit sad - I can function, but I’ve lost my spark a bit. I hope I can snap out of it, DC deserve a happy mum.

@Southandeast i also lost mine and not sure it will ever return, smell more than taste
@speakingofart if we had been allowed to question openly without being slammed as selfish constantly, daily, it might not have been so traumatic I feel