DH’s promotion v my happiness

[Eek3under3]

Help.

DH has unexpectedly been offered a promotion as part of a company restructure. Hasn’t applied for/ interviewed (yes lucky thing..). New job would mean moving 3 hours away back to his home town. We have 3 children under 3 so could get a bigger house there.

but…

I love where we live. I have lots of friends and a reasonably well paid job that I would have to leave. No job options in my sector in new location and my earning potential is significantly lower there. I would have no job, friends or family support there. It essentially boils down to who is more important.

Do I go with it or put my foot down? He has really supported us/ me through some very difficult times so I want to be supportive, but the thought of giving up my whole life makes me feel so sad.

Has anyone done something similar and it worked out ok (or regretted it)?

Oh I like this possibility, clever! Would have to be 2 days each time though so you get a meal out with a friend each week, and more than 3 days per week wfh does get very isolating...

And if you did decide to try it DH should be thinking of a plan B in case it doesn't work for you all. Renting etc.

It's a big leap and he should be appreciating you putting all this thought into whether it can work, not just assuming it's going to happen and will automatically be fine!

Do not give up your earning power.

Where are you moving to OP?

I am originally from West London and I moved out to Gloucestershire almost 20 years ago (late 20s). I moved on my own, albeit with a job that I was relocating for. But no one else relocated, I had broken up with my partner and my family were all still in London. I was truly on my own.

Best move I ever made. Absolutely love it here. We're not far from Bristol so I was thinking you sound as if you might be quite close-ish to me.

Commuting from bristol ish area to London is not difficult..many people do it on daily basis, but I'd second moving and having an arrangement to go up two days a week or one day/2 days over each fortnight.
While I get that you are leaving family and friends, your dh also has equal right to say he'd like to live near his family and friends.
Not sure why your family/friends needs trump his ?

If he has been approached for this role, he is in a strong negotiation position. I'd ask him to go back and see if he can take the role on secondment and ask for support to live away for up to two years Monday to Friday. If the company is large, they may have apartments that can be used near his new work location.

It is worth asking the question.