Child being given sweets then getting upset when I say they can't have them.

[GhastlyBoo]

Anyone else facing this problem?

My dc are constantly being given sweets from family, friends, school & clubs. I don't like them having sweets as they have a few dental issues and I find lollipops a choking hazard.

I'm always the bad guy when they bring home sweets and I have to say no you can't eat them.

I do allow them the occasional treat but I like to limit it and know when they've eaten them.

How can I explain to people not to give my dc sweets without my consent? I've tried telling a few of them but they don't seem to take me seriously.

My mum didn't allow sweets. This led directly to me spending all of my money on edible crap once I was old enough to have my own money, hiding them away in my room to eat in secret.

Seriously, it has given me an adulthood of food issues. There is an easy middle ground, maybe a weekly treat or allowing DCs to keep gifted/birthday sweets but not buying any yourself.

A healthy diet does not exclude sweets.

Raisins are just as bad. Hope you aren't giving your children those instead , claiming they're healthy.

@GhastlyBoo You really run the risk of making sweets into the forbidden fruit and potentially causing all sorts of problems for your dc's in the future. Such as smuggling sweets, gorging on them when the opportunity present itself etc.

Anyone else wondering how soon they catch on to not taking them home for you to confiscate, so they get a ration from you, too.

Secondary school, at the latest.

How can I explain to people not to give my dc sweets without my consent?

Well you can't really but part of parenting is making decisions and standing by them.

If you've decided your kids can't have them, then obviously you'll have to deal with any kind of fallout.

Just as you'd have to deal with them not wanting to brush their teeth or go to school etc.

You just add them to “the stash” and dish them out when appropriate. The kids soon learn that’s how it goes.

How old are they?

YABVU

My mum was exactly the same and it led to me having an eating disorder and becoming obese.

It has taken many years for me to sort out my eating disorder and maintain a healthy weight.

Don’t let your kids grow up like this.

If they are getting lots of sweets then have a sweet jar and get them to choose a couple after dinner.

This. You can't really control what others do.
I have a DC with a serious allergy, it's crap being given food that looks delicious but could kill you however he gets over it. Your children will too.

And do not be that parent who complains to school, thereby stopping everyone else's child from having the odd treat on a birthday, Christmas etc!

I found it extremely hard to control.

So I went for a middle of the road tactic.
The dcs would keep the sweets. They would go in a box to be eaten at the end of the meal as a treat.
That way I eliminated the issue with teeth. A lollipop would be eaten sat down so less issues etc….

Maybe that would work for you?

I hate those hard boiled lollipops that, like you say OP, are a choking hazard. It can be embarrassing at parties when they’re handed out and I take DC’s lolly off them, but I’m not risking them charging around at a party with it in their mouth for the sake of a minute or two being awkward in front of the host. I just wish they wouldn’t give them out at all. Save them for the party bag (so I can throw them away at home!)

I also hate constantly being the bad guy and always saying no to sweets, so I’ve done as advised above and I put them in a box and offer them occasionally. There just seemed to be such a high volume of sweet stuff though - parties, grandparents, birthdays at school. I feel like the Sugar Police.

If you are worried about teeth, just make them brush their teeth after eating sweets? Children need sweets. They make them happy. Unless eating excessive amount every day, I think taking away the sweets children get is kind of mean.
I think once your dcs are older, they will just eat it and not tell you.

Pasta?

School age?

I think it's unrealistic to expect the rest of the world to follow your rules.

Better to teach them about healthy eating and moderation and good dental hygiene because they are always going to be offered sweets.

Why does your child have dental issues is it medical ? Mine always had sweets and another who had a box for them to go in if a lot , but if they had a party bag they could tuck in , we were just good at doing teeth etc
I also monitored fruit juice and raisins etc
They are young adults now with no tooth decay

@Unseelie thats a little overkill , natural food probably contains traces off etc as traces of all sorts everywherro

Sweets aren't poison and making them a forbidden fruit will make a child greedy for them, especially when they get their own access to them when older.
Mine are in their 30s, never had a filling and were never banned from sweets. Because of this they were never really bothered with them.
You could always tell the kids that had limited access to sweets, they were the ones last to leave the table at birthday parties, stuffing the sugary stuff in their gobs!

This.

My mum took away any easter eggs or Christmas chocolate and doled it out in teeny tiny pieces over the next several months as "pudding". I climbed on cupboards and stole cooking chocolate and spent all my pocket money on chocolate once I was going to school on my own, hid it and ate it secretly.

I was fat on and off for decades as an adult and my siblings had more serious eating disorders, resulting in hospitalisation in one case.

If the kids are preschoolers it's fine not be put out by people giving them boiled sweets and boiled sugar lollipop sweets 🍭 as they're a choking hazard for very small children, but otherwise it's setting children up for major food issues to confiscate and not give back the odd fun size chocolate bar or mini pack of gummy bears or whatever.

DD puts sweets she is given in her treats bag and then they're there for when she fancies something sweet which isn't that often.

We have more issue with playdates where she is plied with one sweet thing after another and doesn't know how to say no.

They get them after dinner here. We generally don't snack if we're at home, only when out and about. Sometimes they are allowed them straight from school but not all the time. Dd2 came out with sweets three times last week.

Tell them theyre allergic to an ingredient in sweets. Thatll stop them!

It's a problem in our house too. Older child age 11 just seems to be constantly hungry and reaches for sweets all the time. I one found an empty packet of buttons, star burst and a massive packet of crisps in one sitting !

I hated my kids being given sweets. Hated it! I never let my kids eat them. What they didn't know, they didn't miss.

Sweets are full of crap and addictive.

How didn't they know if they were given the sweets and you took them and binned them?