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Original poster

Could DH be tracking me on Whatsapp?

93 replies

falafelqueen · 24/10/2022 22:01

This sounds paranoid but hear me out. Has anyone ever heard of or experienced being tracked via Whatsapp? I’ve suspected that DH can somehow see my whatsapp activity for a while now. Mainly as he tends to message me seconds after I open the app.

We don’t message each other loads, and it’s weird timing. For example he’ll be at work and send a message right after I first open Whatsapp in the morning, even if hours after I woke up. Or he’ll be out late, not messaging me, and if I check whatsapp he suddenly writes that he’s coming back soon as if I’d asked (and then doesn’t come back… but that’s another story!)

This has happened dozens of times, most recently today which is why i started googling.

I have to open the app to check if I have any messages, as it stopped showing notifications a while ago and I can’t figure out how to fix it. It is the main way I keep in touch with DH because he’s deleted other apps. All this makes me wonder. He used to know my passcode but I’ve changed it since.

I’ve run a spyware detector app on my phone and it came up with nothing. But I’ve just read online that people can download tracker apps to their own phones, put your number in, and since your whatsapp ‘online’ status is publicly available, it can monitor it and ping them every time you’re online? Has anyone heard of this? If he has that I’m not sure how I’d find out.

I’ve just deleted whatsapp as I’m freaked out, but I need to know if he’s really doing this. I can hardly just ask him. He has done a few weird and controlling things in the past, he apologised, we had counselling, I forgave him… but if he's spying on my phone it would be the final straw.

Help...

OP posts:
babasaclover · 24/10/2022 22:07

Blimey that is worrying. Sounds more than possible in todays technical age.

Hope you find an answer and wishing you luck.

Isaidnoalready · 24/10/2022 22:09

Are you linked into a Google drive? You can be tracked via Google it gives you a monthly timeline with all the places you have visited

Log out of all devices on WhatsApp

AnotherDelphinium · 24/10/2022 22:09

So have a look in settings, then linked devices, it shouldn’t show up anything there that you don’t know about!

Next try account > privacy. You can change it so no one can see when you’re last online.

Then if you fancy an early morning, try looking at your WhatsApp tomorrow, and see how often he’s on there. He could just keep looking to see when you’re online…

mumofnations · 24/10/2022 22:23

There is a app called 'just seen' on Google and it will alert you when someone is online, I came across it when a friend thought the same about an ex messaging as soon as she was online.

Original poster
falafelqueen · 24/10/2022 22:30

Thanks for the suggestions. I don’t think my location info goes to Google drive as I usually have location off, but I’ll check. He never asks about or mentions where I am though - and I’m usually just at home (I WFH full time)

I’ve just reinstalled Whatsapp and it looks like uninstalling it signed me out of any linked devices. I’ve set my last seen and online statuses to be visible to nobody - they were contacts only before I think.

If anyone is creeping hopefully that will make it harder but I’m thinking of getting a new phone at this point…

OP posts:
Stripeyrug · 24/10/2022 22:32

Yes I think there is an app that alerts you when someone is active on WhatsApp but I can't remember what it's called.

BillieHolliday · 24/10/2022 22:32

If you think he's tracking you then you are probably better off leaving him anyway and being able to relax

00100001 · 24/10/2022 22:33

I'll bet he was on WhatsApp Web.

See if it is still happening now and check your linked devices again if/when it does.

Original poster
falafelqueen · 24/10/2022 22:34

mumofnations · 24/10/2022 22:23

There is a app called 'just seen' on Google and it will alert you when someone is online, I came across it when a friend thought the same about an ex messaging as soon as she was online.

Thank you, that’s good to know. I can’t believe I’ve never heard of these apps before. I hope your friend’s ex has now left her alone!

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 24/10/2022 22:38

My guess is he’s installed your WhatsApp on a pc/ laptop. He will have had to quickly have had access to your phone to set it up but after that he can see everything if that’s what he’s done.

Original poster
falafelqueen · 24/10/2022 22:40

BillieHolliday · 24/10/2022 22:32

If you think he's tracking you then you are probably better off leaving him anyway and being able to relax

You’re right about that. I’m starting to think it hardly matters whether he really is or not - it’s bad enough that I believe it’s the sort of thing he might do. I would like to know for sure though just for the reassurance that I’m not going crazy...

OP posts:
hippoherostandinghere · 24/10/2022 22:57

But if you're not getting WhatsApp notifications and they only come through when you open the app maybe he's been sending them earlier and they only reach you when you open the app?

Original poster
falafelqueen · 24/10/2022 23:10

hippoherostandinghere · 24/10/2022 22:57

But if you're not getting WhatsApp notifications and they only come through when you open the app maybe he's been sending them earlier and they only reach you when you open the app?

It can’t be that because I’ll open it and have no new messages, and then a minute later he’ll message me! I thought it was just coincidence at first and he just happened to be online at that moment, but it’s happened so many times now...

OP posts:
BananaCocktails · 24/10/2022 23:12

No not at all this on WhatsApp is including mine I only get messages come through to me as soon as I open the app even if they were sent hours before. WhatsApp is end to end encrypted

OnTheBrinkOfChange · 24/10/2022 23:17

So if you send a message to a friend via WhatsApp, does he seem to know the content of that message?

hippoherostandinghere · 24/10/2022 23:31

Ok fair enough, that does seem more than just a coincidence always he constantly has his WhatsApp open waiting to see when you appear online.

Testng123 · 24/10/2022 23:37

WhatsApp Web...you can access WhatsApp on a computer.

My phone broke but I was still able to WhatsApp on my laptop for days. Just takes a minute to set it up.

Alarm59 · 24/10/2022 23:41

Gawd I was of the understanding that’s WhatsApp web only worked if your phone was around. 😩

tolerable · 24/10/2022 23:44

my 12 yr old finds his big bro on snapchat

tolerable · 24/10/2022 23:45

doll-running spyware= paranoid.whether correct or not.......if you arent sneakin-hes a weirdo

sessell · 25/10/2022 00:06

The green dot? When someone is on WhatsApp a green dot shows up over their icon. It's default unless you change settings. So you can see who is 'on' and perhaps available to chat. It's not unusual to wait until you see the green dot to message someone?

Gihi · 25/10/2022 00:16

sessell · 25/10/2022 00:06

The green dot? When someone is on WhatsApp a green dot shows up over their icon. It's default unless you change settings. So you can see who is 'on' and perhaps available to chat. It's not unusual to wait until you see the green dot to message someone?

I don't have a green dot. Is this on the phone app or on the computer app. I know fb has a green dot but WhatsApp doesn't (for me). Is this like an iPhone thing that android users don't have?

Grandadwasthatyou · 25/10/2022 00:57

I also thought that the green dot is a Facebook thing if somebody is on their Facebook.
As far as WhatsApp is concerned on an iPhone the word online shows underneath the persons name if they are online. No green dot as far as I’m aware.

VanGoghsDog · 25/10/2022 01:04

Those apps definitely exist, I've used one in the past. They're not free though (free trial, usually).

So it's probably that.

Btw, mine stopped showing notifications with some upgrade to Android and there's no way to reset it. Very annoying!

Owlnoises · 25/10/2022 01:04

hippoherostandinghere · 24/10/2022 22:57

But if you're not getting WhatsApp notifications and they only come through when you open the app maybe he's been sending them earlier and they only reach you when you open the app?

Yes, i was going to say this. Have you looked at the timestamp on the messages? It sounds to me like your WhatsApp is set not to run in the background and is therefore only picking up messages when you open it.

Assuming your relationship is otherwise healthy I'd have thought that's the most likely explanation.

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