Scared of motorway - what shall I do?

[Isitfine]

Going on holiday and my partner doesn’t drive so I’m the driver. I’ve only been driving a year and because I was pregnant didn’t drive much and haven’t gone on the motorway yet.

Going away for two nights and leaving baby with grandparents who live in Greater London.
we could get the train but would mean lugging all her stuff and there’s quite a few changes, or I could drive to grandparents which would take half the time near enough but the only thing is I need to go on motorway for 40 miles which I’ve never done and I’m petrified.
But it would be a lot easier.

No chance to practice, I’ve left it too late. Do I just do it or get the train? Any advice to make me less scared?

Have you driven on a big duel carriageway? Motorways are the same, just with extra lanes.
If you've not done either, I'd train it this time, an get yourself some motorway lessons ready for next time.
If you've done A roads with sliproads for entry and exit, drive it.

Also, when coming off the motorway, you will be mostly going into a roundabout. Make sure you know which lane to be in for the right exit.

Personally I’d say don’t stress yourself out unnecessarily it’s going to be hard dealing with baby.

could you afford a taxi ? then get train to airport with just your luggage

yiu will always get the ones who say
just go for it
but if your not a confident driver it’s not that easy to do, you need to go short distance first learn getting on and off

off course if your not the type to get stressed, nervous if you get off wrong exit etc
then go for it

If you're really not confident to go on the motorway then I would find a non motorway route for the drive tomorrow.

Do you drive much on dual carriageways? Is it the joining and merging in that's the sticking point?

It's really not that bad once you get on it, unless it's torrential rain. Just avoid rush hour. If you find it that bad, you just come off and take the A roads. I quite enjoy motorway driving though. First time I ever drove on the motorway, I was supposed to be going north but got on the south... it was embarrassing how long it took me to realise I was going the wrong way.
You'll be fine though, just take it easy and don't rush.

My DS starts work tomorrow, 23 (first post-uni job). It's 13 miles away, 10 on the M27.

My advice to him has been: on the on-ramp, keep/ judge your speed. Do not automatically slow down. The on-ramp is usually very long. Match the speed of the motorway traffic. Merge. You'll find 2 things- the left hand lane traffic will move to the middle lane to let you in, and/or, if busier, the traffic in the left hand lane will stagger itself to let you in. Everyone knows it's in everyone's interest to do these things.

Ask yourself how often you've seen a stationary car at the end of an on ramp, forlornly indicating. Everyone gets to merge.

Once you're on, some of the easiest roads to drive on. No crossroads, roundabouts, T junctions.

Please try, it's life-changing to be able to negotiate motorways.

Lunch time will be quieter so not a bad time for a first go.

I'd have a look at each junction on Google maps, using the streetview function, so I had an idea of what they would look like. Do you have a satnav? That makes life easy but if not, just note down the junction numbers so you know where to come off including road numbers. It helps if you have a passenger to navigate (as long as they are not back street drivers!) There is are warning signs quite a way before junctions, so plenty of time to prepare to leave.

Getting onto a motorway is usually fine. You just need to accelerate to match traffic in the left hand lane and then filter in, checking your blind spot before finally moving across. It's just like driving on a dual carriageway.

I’d go on A roads tomorrow but once you’re home, book a one-off lesson with your previous instructor on MWay driving. Then, practise when you’re not under pressure. Talk yourself through what you are doing, out loud if necessary.

I'm a very nervous driver, OP, or at least used to be. I'm a lot better now, but I used to have to get my husband to go with me on a trial run of my new commute to work etc.

I was terrified of motorways too. I'm still a little nervous but so used to it now - in fact, there was a time I went on the M25 most days, and even drove in the far right lane (with my kids in the back). That might not sound like a big deal to others but to be it was pretty huge. I get a bit nervous slipping onto the motorway in the first place, and still don't like motorway roundabouts (who does?!) but have got to the point where I frive on motorways as a matter of course. If I can do it,you absolutely can!! Stay calm going onto it (fine to stop and wait if you need) and stay in the left lane if you feel nervous while driving. Use your satnav so you don't have to worry about which junction. I actually find motorway driving easier than most roads now to be honest (and it's the only type of road I'll agree to drive my husband's large car on - my car is tiny!). Best of luck!!

Yes go on dual carriageways all the time! I’ve never driven further than 30 miles at one time and I get scared driving new places.

worried about joining, looks complicated and because I’ve got my baby in the car. I’m an anxious driver generally and hate it, I’ve forced myself to be okay on a roads but even then I don’t like it.

I sound pathetic

As you're leaving tomorrow you don't have time for a motorway lesson which I think would be the best thing to do.

However if you're going to go for it - please please check your rear view mirror and wing mirrors regularly (and shoulder check, although apparently this isn't a thing anymore) and indicate whenever you join and leave the motorway or change lanes. Try to drive with the speed of the traffic even if that means 55mph in lane 1 (don't sit at 40mph in lane 1 as you'll have HGVs up your backside and rightly so!). Sitting in the middle lane or changing lanes unexpectedly or without checking is a sure fire way to either cause an accident or scare yourself.

Also remember that when you join the motorway that whilst its great if vehicles move out of lane 1 to let you join they aren't obliged to do so and you need to manage your speed to join with the flow ((you might need to speed up or slow down a little to find a gap depending how busy it is).

Good luck and enjoy your break away.

No you absolutely don't sound pathetic. That was me exactly. Having the baby in the car does make it more stressful too. Why not do the slower route tomorrow, and then get motorway driving lessons to build up your confidence, then try it on your own without the baby, then finally try it with the baby in the back? Just build up slowly. It honestly is fine. I currently have a similar dear of multistorey carparks - I'd rather walk 2 miles than park in one!

If you have no realistic alternative, can you do the motorway drive at a quiet time, eg very early on a Sunday morning?

Stay in the left lane unless you're over taking.

On slip road indicate right to show your intention to get onto the motorway (sound obvious but makes you more visible to the cars already on it)

When getting onto the motorway get your speed up on the slip road, be looking to the right see what is already on there to judge their speed, you will then be able to slot into a gap. The worst thing you can do is crawl slowly on the slip road and then try to quickly accelerate on the motorway (unless you have a car with a big engine)

Joining is just the same as many junctions on dual carriageways, in that it’s a slip road. The other traffic, already on the motorway, should move out of the way for you so you don’t have to stop, but just be aware of the other traffic positions, so you can slow down a bit to slot in if necessary.

You're not pathetic, it's very normal plus it's sensible to be cautious about driving.

The more you drive the easier it gets, the same is true for motorway driving. When I first started driving my children around on my own I planned non motorway routes, would study the route in advance and use Google maps and street view to check out bits I wasn't sure of in advance. Then I started to brave some short motorway trips and progressed from there.

I've driven for 22 years and never driven a motorway. I don't live anywhere near one.

Don't forget tomorrow is 1st day of half term (depending where you are) so could be busier. Just build you speed up indicate on slip lane and you will see a gap to merge in.. but remember to change lanes on other junctions to let others on. Just allow plenty of time x

I think if you are going at lunchtime that will be most positive. Stay in the left hand lane. If it is too much come off for regular service station breaks but actually I think just ploughing on and getting it over with would have worked best for me.

If it all gets too much come off and find the A road routes on the sat nav.

Like many on here I was absolutely terrified! Only being brave and going on them regularly helped so much and now I actually enjoy it!

Best of luck!

No, other traffic oncoming and already on the road have priority, joiners have to slot in or stop and go.

Dont give bad advice to someone already unsure and nervous of motorway driving and check your own practice as it sounds dangerous

I think telling someone to stop on a slip road is a bit odd tbh. And dangerous. No one will expect that to happen.

Yes the traffic already on the motorway has priority, but what happens in practice is that traffic moves out of the way - up to a point, which is why I said she should be aware, slow down and slot in.

There's nothing to motorway driving. It's the easiest type of driving because you just drive in a straight line

I wish l felt like this😩

Theres always someone up your backside, or pulling in front of your stopping distance. Or hassling you to move lanes. Or lorries are driving 2abreast and you feel trapped.

l hate the fast lane so much. I hate pulling out. I hate everything about motorway driving. And I’ve been driving for 36 years.

l don’t trust other drivers to behave safely.

A motorway is basically just like a great big dual carriageway but with no traffic lights or roundabouts.

If you want to give it a go then why not go on Googlemaps and have a really good look at the junctions you'll be joining and leaving the motorway at and then the junction before it as well, so you are familair with the road.

I'm a really nervous driver but honestly, you'll be fine.

Motorways are safer than other roads. Keep to inside lane. Just go along at steady speed. Keep good distance to car/lorry in front of you. Use a good App to direct you. You put in your postcode of where you start journey and where you want to go. It will direct you, including which lane to get into if motorway sits and which junction to get off at. WAYS is a good app.

@bellac11 traffic already on do have right of way, but should be leaving enough space for cars joining to slot in , slowing down on motorway slip road is dangerous as most cars done have to the power to accelerate fast enough to go from slow to 70 which can cause drivers already on to slam on brakes.