If your son doesn’t play football, do you feel he misses out on life

[GingerKittenTail]

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I'm 37 and thinking of all the males I know and have known, most haven't been into football.. it hasn't held them back in life

This

I also think it’s a ridiculous question too but it’s not an uncommon one, as over the years I’ve heard so many parents express deep concern that their child isn’t interested in ‘team sports’. I suppose for some people who’ve grown up competing and bonding in this way , they attach huge value to it, which not all of us can understand.

None of mine were, I didn’t feel they missed out. They have enjoyed lots of other things instead, like Scouts, climbing, musical instruments, lots of other stuff. It can be tough to feel the only boy who’s not that into football, but they went to a big primary and then a big secondary so eventually they found friends who were on their wavelength.

I think it depends where you live. Ds has never been into it, because we're not. As football is played and watched both in real life and online here and ds is of a more imaginative bent, he has always struggled to have conversations. If kids aren't playing it, they're talking about it.

He has lots of varied activities, but all the kids in school want to talk about... is football. The football kids meet up outside school.. to play football. Ds isn't invited, becausehe hasn't been playing it for 8 years or so. School does football in PE most of the year.

Once he gets to 6th form, he'll be OK. It's just hard to join in without football currency.

Good God, where do you live @Octomingo ? Even in the very working class Yorkshire ex pit village where I used to live there was a choice of football or boxing or fishing or brass band. Or a combination thereof.

No, he plays rugby.

I'm in the North East and my primary age son says that on every break, all of the boys (apart from 2 - my son and his friend) play football.

It would be a lot easier if he liked football but he's not interested at all. I'm happy for him to do what he wants to do, although I am hoping the one other kid who also doesn't play football stays disinterested in it, or my son will have a lonely time.

I have no interest in football. I've a 2.5 year old son, and used to hope he also had no interest in it.

But about a year ago, I read a thread here about boys being left out in the playground if they don't play football.
I don't want to do anything to disadvantage my son, so will enroll him in football class when he's 4 or 5 to learn the basics.
If he likes it, great, he can continue.
If he doesn't like it, then at least I'll have tried and hopefully he'll have learnt some basics,

N Wales. Every kid round here has been signed by an academy(according to their parents). Kids support Liverpool or Manchester teams.Most kids do martial arts too, but football is social capital.

I hate the obsession with football in this country, I hate the money and celebrity worship involved, I hate the link to male tribalism, I hate the links to male violence.

I do still get a little guilty that my ds doesn’t get the chance to play it as a game much. Why do men en masse ruin everything?

Nope. I don't want him to like football tbh. Apart from actively avoiding weekend commitments like that, I find the general game boring AF, and the attitudes that it promotes of it's players rather lacking in honesty and respect. Rugby or cricket when he's a bit older would be fine, but hopefully he'll like more water based sports like rowing of some sort. He already loves swimming.

I have 3 Ds's and a DD. All of them played football for many years except ds3 who only did it for a few weeks. He was never sporty like the others. The 3 who did play though have made lifelong friends from playing in a team for so many years. Ds1&2 are both in their early 20's now and still close to all their ex-team mates. DS1's love of football saw him do a sports related degree and he now works for a football club. At the age of 16 he saved up to get a season ticket and saw our local team win the league for the first time ever which was a huge highlight in his life. Football is a huge part of his life. DD ( aged 17) no longer plays but I do wish she had carried on a bit longer. We spent many a weekend just attending one match after another.

At my DC's primary they are only allowed to play football at break twice a week as it takes over the playground, and can lead to kids feeling left out because they don't play it well enough.
Both my DCs play and, especially for my younger one, it's a big part of his life and friendship group. It's definitely great social capital, but certainly not the only thing.
My DH is in his 50s and is a football fan though thankfully not obsessively so. He's remarked on a few occasions that he can initially struggle if he's introduced to someone who has no interest or knowledge of football as thats how he makes small talk. For him it's like an immediate common ground. He's not the most confident of people so he's needs a "hook" so to speak (though cricket and darts would be fine too!).
My older DC plays several different sports, but football is the one that seems much more universal. Having said that, where we live, kids are just as likely to pick up a basketball and go off to the park to "shoot some hoops" as they are to kick a ball around. DS1 also goes to cricket nets with his mates too.

I've always found kids who don't like football a bit weird

Maybe they feel the same way about you, only having one topic of conversation or interest.

He sounds great to be honest. Football loving LAD.

Why 'lad' in capitals?

Is that what one should aspire to? Raising a child with one singular obsessive hobby who has no broader outlook of interests merely because it will make him a LAD rather than just a boy? When he's too old to be a lad will he be a BLOKE? On here cos he's missing his kids first birthday cos it clashes with his football teams semi final? Or shaking his own son who wants to do gymnastics as its not LADDISH enough?
No thanks.

It really all depends on your area, resources and other available activities surely? Football seems to be the only lunchtime activity on offer in dcs school. So it's join in, or miss out. My socially awkward dc has definitely thrived since joining in this year. In previous years there were a lot of tears every night because he couldn't quite break into the circle... He doesn't play outside of school.

FIL once said DS will grow up <limp wrist action> if he didn't like football. DH tore into him before I did, DH doesn't like football either. Then BIL1 ripped into him, then his own wife. Because there's more to life than football and not liking it, not being a LAD does not make anyone gay.

LAD is usually equated with drunken, boorish, misogynistic behaviour 'Lads! Lads! Lads!' Not something I'd want DS to aspire to.

To be fair my football hating boys are more than a bit weird. Luckily we love weird in our house!

It's just one hobby, like any others that has pros and cons. If you don't play it then you miss out on some experiences and opportunities, same as if you didn't play another sport, or an instrument or part of a church and so on.

Our boys were naturally good at sports, and liked football, it certainly helped them settle in a new location and school as we'd had to move around a few times. Like any hobby or interest, it can be a good way to meet people with similar interests, but I don't think there is anything special about football per se.

Ds (9) can take or leave football. He'll have a kick about in the playground, do any organised sessions at after school club and happily go to football parties but it's not something he has any interest in taking up as a hobby or watching (has no idea who any of the players are etc). I don't feel like he misses out at all. Some of his friends play football and others don't.
At the last football party it was very noticeable that about 50% of the party turned up in full football kit down to the socks with football boots, player's name on the back etc. The other 50% including ds were just in tracksuit bottoms/t shirt/trainers so it's a pretty even split in the group. They are a lovely group of kids who bond over plenty of other things than football.

No. Such a silly and narrow minded view that boys MUST like football.

And I find blokes who obsess over football very pathetic.