Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

If your son doesn’t play football, do you feel he misses out on life

157 replies

GingerKittenTail · 22/10/2022 13:15

?

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 22/10/2022 13:33

I agree it's a ridiculous question.

My son is 24. Has never had even a passing interest in football.

Believe it or not, he still did well at school, still has friends, stil has hobbies, still has a good job and still has a girlfriend.

Why on earth would you think he'd miss put on 'life? Confused

MaChienEstUnDick · 22/10/2022 13:34

No, but we did attend two different primary schools, one of which took very active steps to manage football so that it didn't spread across the whole of the playground and was just one of the things that happened at lunchtime. DS was happier in that school for sure. I think there's also evidence around that girls are happier and more active when football is properly managed, though I would hope that they are able to join in with the boys more now.

ThanksAntsThants · 22/10/2022 13:35

Well, my DS can’t stand football, and I don’t think he feels like he’s missing out. Hope that helps.

GreyCarpet · 22/10/2022 13:35

In contrast, my ex fil is an avid football fan. He spends all his weekends during football season either watching TV in his living room or in the local sports and social club watching football. He has no conversation beyond football.

Between him and my son I know who's missed out on 'life'!

PeekAtYou · 22/10/2022 13:35

My sons never went to a match or played on a team but they played with other boys on the playground or out of school for fun as that's what their friends did. They've never expressed sadness at not having a team that they support or not being on an official team.

TerraNostra · 22/10/2022 13:36

Clearly this is not about sport as such, this is you beating yourself up about not having transport. You have no idea if he'd have taken to it if you had been driving him to practice and matches in a top-of-the range Tesla. You are where you are, just sit down with him and try to offer some guidance about hobbies, friendships and finding his passions now, within what is ora to ally possible.

Personally I'm delighted that my son has zero interest in football, I can't stand it, the culture or football bores (can just about tolerate the Lionesses). But it's not a universal interest amongst his school friends so I can understand that if your son's school circles are more biased towards it that could be hard. I see it mostly in kids whose Dads are football fans (my DH can take it or leave it, prefers cricket).

butterfliedtwo · 22/10/2022 13:38

Football = life is so tiresome.

No, and it's a weird question.

Dougieowner · 22/10/2022 13:38

Not at all.

None of the boys / men in my family have ever shown any interest in football (either playing or watching) and it hasn't caused any problems, at school or later.
There are more school sports or activities for him to take an interest in.

Even at work there are only a couple of the guys that are football mad (and I mean completely over the top!).
I think the feeling that we are a football nation is wrong. I agree that during the competition earlier this year there appeared to be a lot of support for the women but it left me (us!) completely cold as we just couldn't raise any enthusiasm for a sport that doesn't interest any of us at any other time.
One good thing though, when there is an "important" match on it is a good time to go shopping or have a day ou!

bewarethetides · 22/10/2022 13:38

Depends where they live / who they go to school with.

Not playing in some areas around here and playing well as a boy can be a serious detriment to their social lives in primary school.

Soubriquet · 22/10/2022 13:40

No?

I have a 7 year old son and he has absolutely no interest in football.

9 year old dd plays football matches at school but she doesn’t want to join a club. She enjoys it for school spirit and that’s it

RudsyFarmer · 22/10/2022 13:40

I have one that does and one that doesn’t. The one that does enjoys it. The one that doesn’t isn’t the slightest bit interested.

Original poster
GingerKittenTail · 22/10/2022 13:41

TerraNostra · 22/10/2022 13:36

Clearly this is not about sport as such, this is you beating yourself up about not having transport. You have no idea if he'd have taken to it if you had been driving him to practice and matches in a top-of-the range Tesla. You are where you are, just sit down with him and try to offer some guidance about hobbies, friendships and finding his passions now, within what is ora to ally possible.

Personally I'm delighted that my son has zero interest in football, I can't stand it, the culture or football bores (can just about tolerate the Lionesses). But it's not a universal interest amongst his school friends so I can understand that if your son's school circles are more biased towards it that could be hard. I see it mostly in kids whose Dads are football fans (my DH can take it or leave it, prefers cricket).

Yes your right, it’s me feeling guilty I couldn’t continue on with something and I wish I had been able as I can see how it can make primary boys unable to join in certain things at times

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 22/10/2022 13:41

You do realise there is more to life than just football?

He can mix with other children doing any number of sports - cricket, athletics, swimming, skateboarding, gymnastics, dancing, martial arts to name a few.

Also they can attend local youth groups or after school clubs or craft clubs.

Not every child will attend a club either. Swimming lessons can build friendships and socialisation outside of school. Even visits to the local park or woods and adventure playgrounds etc.

ofwarren · 22/10/2022 13:45

Hopalongnancy · 22/10/2022 13:21

Yes. My son struggled all through primary school because he didn't like and was rubbish at football. Was so sorry for him.
If you a primary school boy there's no other options at lunch and break.
My son into board games and quieter activities.

Not like that at my sons school. He enjoys skipping and him and a few other boys do that. The school provide balls, skipping ropes and other equipment for play time.

hesaysimterrible · 22/10/2022 13:47

I love the fact my son isn't into football. Saves me the hassle of having to stand around in those early morning cold rainy practices and pretending I'm excited to be there, having to make awkward chit chat with other parents etc because I genuinely do not give a shit about football or any of the stuff that goes along with it.

ChuckMater · 22/10/2022 13:47

Misses out on LIFE because he doesn't play football? Mental

wowzersididntexpectthat · 22/10/2022 13:48

No! My husband isn't into football so has done other things with our son.

However sometimes I think my son wishes he knew more about football teams and players etc, as that's what all his friends talk about!

Frazzled2207 · 22/10/2022 13:49

I have two sons one is part of the footy crowd the other is part of the “non” footy crowd and hates it. Not for a moment do I think he is missing out, the only slight concern is that he gets a lot less physical exercise than his brother. Just like me, not sporty at all! I wish I was sporty, but I def don’t feel like I have missed out in life!

cantba · 22/10/2022 13:50

Primary school is very hard for boys that dont like football. I have 2 sons. One is very into ball sports and one isn't at all. Making friends etc is much easier for the sportier one.

My nearly 10 year old plays football on saturday (matches) wednesday (training) every lunchtime at school plus after school club twice a week. Plus rugby on sunday. Most of his friends are similar. Some boys are very into it and if your son's school is like that i suspect it is quite isolating to not be involved. My elder son was just not interested and he def got invited to less parties, playdates etc at the same age as in our school at least it is what the majority of boys were interested in. He likes nothing better than a trip to sports direct!

Not so important at secondary though as there is greater diversity of interest and more clubs to join.

megletthesecond · 22/10/2022 13:52

I used to feel like he did, especially during primary school. He felt bad that he couldn't properly join in with his mates.

He's year 11 now and really got into playground football at secondary school and can hold his own. He knows nothing about football teams though.

OldChinaJug · 22/10/2022 13:54

Primary school is very hard for boys that dont like football

No it isn't.

I can be but it isn't a foregone conclusion.

I'm a teacher. Thre are lots of boys who have no interest in football and the ones who are interested seem to have nothing else going on and miss out on an awful lot of the rest of childhood 🤷🏻‍♀️

MintJulia · 22/10/2022 13:58

I don't think it's an issue, as long as they do some other physical activities or sports.

My ds has always hated football, so primary lunchtimes he spent reading on his own. Not great for making friends but now he's older, that's not a problem.

I did have a bizarre conversation with the pastoral care team at his senior school, when they said "we are worried about your ds. He reads every lunchtime."

Me: OK, is he disruptive or unhappy. Is the reading matter inappropriate? Is he rude or aggressive? Is he falling behind?

Them: No, he's just reading.

Me: And the problem with that is.....?

Them: Uhmn....

😂😂😂

MrsAvocet · 22/10/2022 13:59

Not in the slightest. One of my sons plays a few different sports but loathes football.
My other son isn't interested in team sport at all but has other hobbies and has like minded friends and enjoys himself.
I would look for other things if you can't get your DS to football OP. I think its good for children to have hobbies but football isn't the be all and end all. Is there anything different you can walk to? Even if it's something he's not been interested in before it's worth considering different options. My DS has just started a sport he'd never even heard of until recently and he loves it, is making new friends and seems to have some natural aptitude too. Look around and see what you can find - your DS may grow to love a hobby that you haven't considered as yet. But honestly, he doesn't have to play football.

Sestriere · 22/10/2022 14:01

Good grief no! DS realising he didn’t like football was the happiest day of my life. Ended up being a black belt and playing rugby union for Yorkshire.

you don’t need football in their life.

BiscuitLover3678 · 22/10/2022 14:03

No. Things are a bit more varied these days and not all boys like football. Maybe it depends where you are though.