If your son doesn’t play football, do you feel he misses out on life

[GingerKittenTail]

?

😂

I have 2 sons and neither of them have any interest in football. DH is and watches and plays so they have had that influence, it just doesn’t seem to have rubbed off. One is fairly sporty but does other, non-football sports. One isn’t sporty at all. They both had mainly friends in primary school who also weren’t interested in football either. It is a bit of an issue for some boys in some schools if break times are dominated by football.

What a ridiculous question. There is more to life than football and I'm amazed that anyone could think otherwise.

No, not at all. There are other things in life of children.

At certain points yes. Being good at or interested in football certainly opened up social aspects that are closed to those who aren't.

I don't think it's a stupid question. In the long run, no. However, I'm a primary school teacher and virtually all the boys play football at playtimes from Year 2 up. We offer all sorts of other equipment but they all go for the football. It can be isolating for those who don't play.

No men or boys in my family, or women, or girls are remotely interested in football. I suppose it's more difficult if you are surrounded by people who are.

But you can't force an interest in something you dislike.

I was delighted that neither of my DSs were remotely interested in football. Still aren't as adults.

Many better ways to spend spare time.

DS adores football. Plays for more than one team. He's either competing or training after school most days and at the weekends.

However at school he has no desire to play football during break times at all. He much prefers a game or table tennis or an hour at science club. The right school will provide plenty of opportunities for children to mix and fit in.

Well no.

I have one son who admittedly loves watching football but played rugby.

And one who isn't the slightest bit interested in anything involving any shaped balls and is basically Huckleberry Finn.

Both thrived.

It's not a stupid question OP. Football is how a lot of boys bond and build friendships. Of course its not the only way but depending on the school/friendship groups I do think it can mean missing out for some boys.

Definitely not. None of us have the slightest interest. DS has lots of friends, a great social life. The only issue is when he meets new members of the family / their partners whose first question is who he supports and he baffles them saying nobody 😄

Mine is in Y3 and really dislikes football. As a result a lot of boys he played with previously have now abandoned him in favour of playing football every break time. However he does have other friends and doesn't seem unhappy so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Part of me wishes he was into it though

Depends on the area, surely. We live in an urban area with provision for almost every activity you can imagine for kids...football, rugby, scouts, gymnastics, dance, multisports, athletics, tennis, coding club, art club, theatre club and lots more. And good public transport. So a child around here probably wouldn't miss out too much if they didn't like or couldn't do football (aside from the issue of cost... some activities are cheap or subsidised but many are quite expensive and lots of families are struggling financially). I imagine that's different in areas with much less provision for children's sport and hobbies.

My dcs are older teens now.

Football seems to have been THE go to for boys in primary. But neither of my dcs ever played in a team etc… and it has never stopped them from joining in. I think the reason is simple. Not all boys play in a team. More or less all know the rules and that’s plenty to be able to play at recess tbh.

Some of the boys didn’t like football right form the word go. And that was ok too.

fwiw as soon as they hit secondary, all that football malarkey disappears. It’s really nit the end and be all iyswim.

I really wouldn’t feel guilty about not taking him to football. I didn’t do it with mines because I refused to stand on the side lines every Saturday in the rain/cold etc…. They did well Wo it. And it didn’t stop them making friends.

A,so if he doesn’t like football now, he very likely wouldn’t like it even if you had taken him to football sessions.
How good you are at football isn’t the only reason for a boy/child to like or not like football. Let him be who he wants to be. ANd celebrate what he enjoys too.

I'm so glad my ds isn't into football. He's 7 and popular in his year so it's not affected him at all so far. Not that he'd be bothered anyway.

What a ridiculous question. There is more to life than football and I'm amazed that anyone could think otherwise.
That's harsh. You wouldn't think it ridiculous if you'd grown up in the small Northern town where I did. There are still places where football completely dominates the social lives of most men and boys and whilst that is pretty ridiculous, it's not unreasonable for a mother to be concerned about negative effects if her son isn't involved in a very popular activity.
But don't worry OP. As many others have said, if he isn't pushing to go he probably wouldn't enjoy it anyway, and there are many other hobbies that are just as good, if not better than football. If you are really struggling to get him to places, are there any online groups he could join. I've got a friend who is a Scout leader and they did all their meryings over zoom during the pandemic. They are back in person niw of course but still do a certain number of meetings online so that children who can't get there every week can join in, or if the weather is bad/transport strikes etc so maybe there are options like that?

Nope, DS 10 has never liked football ( or other team sports come to that). He does other activities that align to his interests and seems happy enough at school. He says some of the boys ( and some of the girls) play football at lunchtime but not all of them and there's always something else to do.

I think yes they are missing out. Football is a huge thing in the world of men and boys. Not having even a basic knowledge of the game does absolutely limit interactions. I think its a responsibility we have as parents to set our kids up to succeed by being able to chat about this easy stuff that so many other people are interested in. It's like parents who say shit like DS doesn't have screen time, doesn't eat sweets, isn't allowed a phone, isn't interested in gaming etc This is all cultural capital in boys so you are setting your son up to be an outsider. And there is no way back for lots of these guys who remain unpopular quite honestly. Foster interests that other people share. Sure your kid may naturally only like croquet and breeding rabbits, but no one else does, so it severely restricts his social interactions and standing.

DS(14) has spent his life avoiding football, and rugby. Dabbles in cricket a bit in the summer.. He found he triibe in the music Dept and plays in various bands and orchestras..Ironically, for the first time ever he's had to do football for PE this term, and he's actually pretty good.

I agree @AgeingDoc in some places it can dominate. There’s also nothing wrong with liking football which some posters are implying.

DS’ school manage it well so that there’s lots of activities on offer at break times. He quite likes football but will often choose to do something else.

Worst advice ever. Yeah lets make them all into little clones just so they can talk footy down the pub 😂😂

No, neither of mine play football apart from a kick about in the playground. One plays rugby and skis, the other is a swimmer. After seeing the behaviour of some
of the spectators at a local loss football match I’m quite glad they don’t.

I find this outlook bizarre, I’ve always encouraged my children to be themselves as an individual and can’t imagine encouraging them to be the same as everyone else! None of them have had any problem finding friends.