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Original poster

Anyone know a brilliant mum?

85 replies

antelopevalley · 20/10/2022 01:09

I do, not me, I am average.
She isn't the type that looks polished and has a beautiful house. She looks ordinary. But the way she interacts with her kids is amazing. She seems brilliant at anticipating any possible issues and heading them off with fun games. She talks in a way that really engages kids.

And it isn't that she had a compliant child. She is brilliant with friends' and acquaintances' kids. She gets them to play games in such a way that they don't cause problems for other people but makes the kids really happy. She is also brilliant at getting kids to tidy up their mess.

Honestly, I am blown away by her skills. I haven't ever seen anything like it.

OP posts:
ManAboutTown · 20/10/2022 01:10

The best ones I have know (like the mother of my two) do as you say and they don't need to dress to the nines to do it. They all seem to look great in a tatty old sweater, jeans and trainers

HighlandPony · 20/10/2022 01:18

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Original poster
antelopevalley · 20/10/2022 01:19

@HighlandPony nasty. Her daughter and son are teenagers and no they don't rip the piss of her.

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ElEmEnOhPee · 20/10/2022 01:22

I know lots of brilliant mums but maybe they wouldn't meet other people's definitions of brilliant, they certainly meet mine though.

A mum friend who is experiencing PTSD after an abusive relationship but still manages to drag herself from her bed even on the days she wants to curl up and die. She may not always be the most cheerful, although there's sadness behind her smile she hopes her children don't recognise the sadness. She sometimes leaves the house messy on days shes struggling but the kids are always well fed and dressed. She's not perfect and to the outside world, to those who don't know her story she'd seem "ordinary" but knowing what she's been through and how she continues despite her PTSD and struggles is inspiring to me.

I think a brilliant mum is one that is doing their best despite what shit the world has thrown at her. She might never be the Pinterest mum, the Instagram mum, the mum who goes to every PTA meeting, she may forget her kids PE kit now and then but she is showing up, she is present and she is doing her damned best to give her kids all she can. I know plenty of those brilliant mums, they are the bravest, strongest women I know and are often the ones looked down upon by other women at the school gates because their school fete cakes arent picture perfect or theyve turned up in their pyjamas for two days in a row (because she's a lone parent battling depression and it was all she could do to get out of bed that morning). These women look ordinary but they're superheroes to their kids and I've no end of admiration for them.

HighlandPony · 20/10/2022 01:23

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Original poster
antelopevalley · 20/10/2022 01:25

@HighlandPony her teenagers do not play games. She has a younger child with who she gets to play games and she did it with her teenagers when they were younger too.
Her teenagers are very very popular.

I don't know why people do this. I can admire someone who is just brilliant at engaging and being with kids of all ages. Why the urge to knock someone down?

OP posts:
Pallisers · 20/10/2022 01:31

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omg. That is so funny. I was just thinking that you were the person who would have bullied her kids at school and then you said it yourself.

HighlandPony · 20/10/2022 01:32

antelopevalley · 20/10/2022 01:25

@HighlandPony her teenagers do not play games. She has a younger child with who she gets to play games and she did it with her teenagers when they were younger too.
Her teenagers are very very popular.

I don't know why people do this. I can admire someone who is just brilliant at engaging and being with kids of all ages. Why the urge to knock someone down?

Why not let kids out to play? With their peers? We can have different opinions of what constitutes a good mum btw. What was described in the op I wouldn’t pin as a great mum. Not in my book. It reads to me like my mother in law with her second marriage kids. They’re not competent adults

Original poster
antelopevalley · 20/10/2022 01:33

I kind of regret posting this. But I am sad that some women are so ready to tear others down they can't just admire that someone else could be brilliant with their kids. I have learned tips from watching her.

OP posts:
Original poster
antelopevalley · 20/10/2022 01:34

@HighlandPony You can't resist it can you? Why do you think her kids don't get out with their friends? They do.

OP posts:
beastlyslumber · 20/10/2022 01:35

My sister is like this, OP. She always knows the right thing to say or do. She respects her kids' feelings and opinions without giving in to them. She's super fun and radiates love and kindness. She works with kids too and has a really positive impact on them. I don't know where she gets it from because I'm not like that at all! She's the sort of person you wish was your mum!

Original poster
antelopevalley · 20/10/2022 01:36

@beastlyslumber Exactly all that! I am really in awe of her.

OP posts:
SpangledShambles · 20/10/2022 01:36

ElEmEnOhPee · 20/10/2022 01:22

I know lots of brilliant mums but maybe they wouldn't meet other people's definitions of brilliant, they certainly meet mine though.

A mum friend who is experiencing PTSD after an abusive relationship but still manages to drag herself from her bed even on the days she wants to curl up and die. She may not always be the most cheerful, although there's sadness behind her smile she hopes her children don't recognise the sadness. She sometimes leaves the house messy on days shes struggling but the kids are always well fed and dressed. She's not perfect and to the outside world, to those who don't know her story she'd seem "ordinary" but knowing what she's been through and how she continues despite her PTSD and struggles is inspiring to me.

I think a brilliant mum is one that is doing their best despite what shit the world has thrown at her. She might never be the Pinterest mum, the Instagram mum, the mum who goes to every PTA meeting, she may forget her kids PE kit now and then but she is showing up, she is present and she is doing her damned best to give her kids all she can. I know plenty of those brilliant mums, they are the bravest, strongest women I know and are often the ones looked down upon by other women at the school gates because their school fete cakes arent picture perfect or theyve turned up in their pyjamas for two days in a row (because she's a lone parent battling depression and it was all she could do to get out of bed that morning). These women look ordinary but they're superheroes to their kids and I've no end of admiration for them.

This is my definition of a brilliant parent too. Doing their best with all the awful crap that’s come their way and still making their home a fun and safe place for their kids. Some people have it tougher than others and if they can do a good job and generate happiness, then they’re my role models.

beastlyslumber · 20/10/2022 01:36

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Wow. How deeply unpleasant.

HighlandPony · 20/10/2022 01:38

antelopevalley · 20/10/2022 01:34

@HighlandPony You can't resist it can you? Why do you think her kids don't get out with their friends? They do.

Maybe they do. But what you wrote just seems boring. Preppy. Teenage me would have roped the pish out her and if I was like her mine would do the same.

SirenSays · 20/10/2022 01:57

Isnt it interesting how some people take the piss and belittle things they're actually really insecure about.
OP your friend sounds lovely.

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 20/10/2022 01:59

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Ooh you're lovely

Weatherwax13 · 20/10/2022 02:04

My DDs are both brilliant mums. I'm really impressed by them particularly the younger who got herself and my GC out of a terrifying abusive relationship and has built a wonderful life for that kid. They were utterly traumatised and she's battled every day to support her DC and create a normal life with secure boundaries and lots of fun and love. It's a joy to behold frankly.

HighlandPony · 20/10/2022 03:03

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1AngelicFruitCake · 20/10/2022 05:19

HighlandPony · 20/10/2022 01:38

Maybe they do. But what you wrote just seems boring. Preppy. Teenage me would have roped the pish out her and if I was like her mine would do the same.

Show quote history

Teenage you?🤔 Because I’m sure you’re completely different as an adult! Can imagine what your children are like to others! Sad.

OP, ignore that poster. Some people are so insecure they can’t wait to have a go. Of course the poster will make a comment that they’re confident/don’t care what anyone thinks etc but their neediness is clear to see 😄

mrsg2019 · 20/10/2022 05:34

I think most mums are great mums. The sacrifices required from mums and the pure tenacity of the first six months alone, makes me respect anyone who's got through it. Any mum out there who is just trying her best everyday is a great mum in my eyes.

Butchyrestingface · 20/10/2022 05:44

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Yes, I formed that impression on the other thread I was just reading about gender disappointment, where you waxed on about how much you hate women/girls.

Still, recognition is the first step towards change.

Weepachu · 20/10/2022 06:00

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I am imagining you as the female Rab C. Nesbit. But rougher.

ofHardey · 20/10/2022 06:03

I wouldn't bother with highlandpony too much. I think it's a troll personally and not worth the time of day.

Oblomov22 · 20/10/2022 06:11

Yep. My mum is like this. She is amazing. At everything. Everyone likes her. I can't think of a single thing she's bad at. No hang on, she's a bit twee. Years ago, She announced she was going to have doilies and stuff, which I told her was grim. She said she'd never been able to before when she had 3 small kids under 5, so now she was going to. Which I couldn't argue with!