Anyone know a brilliant mum?

[antelopevalley]

I do, not me, I am average.
She isn't the type that looks polished and has a beautiful house. She looks ordinary. But the way she interacts with her kids is amazing. She seems brilliant at anticipating any possible issues and heading them off with fun games. She talks in a way that really engages kids.

And it isn't that she had a compliant child. She is brilliant with friends' and acquaintances' kids. She gets them to play games in such a way that they don't cause problems for other people but makes the kids really happy. She is also brilliant at getting kids to tidy up their mess.

Honestly, I am blown away by her skills. I haven't ever seen anything like it.

My mum! She actually makes me feel a bit shit in comparison. She has endless patience, wise words, always has her shit together and really calm. She's ace

Yes I know a mum like this and am also in awe of the way she talks to her kids. I knew her when we were children and her mum did the same. She stands out to me as someone really in touch with her kids who does not let her own stuff get in the way.

I have a friend like this- she only has the 1 and was dealt a bit of a shit hand with the dad who is bright and fun but a con man - she left and has brought her son up(now 9) partly on her own- partly with a new partner. She's messy, fun, clever , hard working and a real character.

@Itstheimplication
Its pretty ordinary games that we all play. But she is happy to be silly. She also anticipates issues. For example, we were out as a small group, with mums and kids. Some kids were playing with a ball and it was at risk of being kicked towards the babies. If it was me I would have said don't kick the ball over this way because of the babies, kick it over the other way. Instead, she made up a game that if the ball went towards us and the babies they lost and had big points deducted, and got points for kicking it towards and trying to hit a point facing another way. So they all started kicking the ball trying to hit this target to get maximum points. It made it a positive way of keeping everyone safe by getting them excited by trying to get big points, rather than a negative thing about don't do this. They were all very young kids and were so happy kicking the ball to the target.

I know loads of great Mums but two really extraordinary Mums. Funnily enough they are both quite different in ways.

One is very hands off - she is most likely to be found cooking an extraordinary meal or reading a book - but she has raised her kids in such a way that they are amazing at entertaining themselves and also at sorting out arguments between themselves. I've known her DC since they were babies; they are now 9 and 6 and I've never seen either of them be unkind to anyone, including each other. Also, she and her DH (who is the joint best Dad I know along with my own DH) have created the most magical home and garden for them and do all sorts of absolutely incredible things very naturally. They have the sort of home where you drop in to say hello and 4 hours later are still there drinking cocktails with their home brewed liquor and cooking a rabbit over the fire that someone has just shot with an air rifle and skinned (apologies to the vegetarians).

The other is extremely hands on and is constantly playing with and doing beautiful crafts with her children, who are incredibly talented artists in their own rights. She always, always knows the right thing to say to her own kids or any others. I told her for years she should start a children's class and she finally has and it is wonderful to see how all the little ones there adore her, as I knew they would.

I wouldn't say I'm jealous of these women because we've had such different lives and we all are who we are for various reasons, but I greatly admire their skills and try my best to learn from them!

Yes. Me. Everyone always told me I'd make a great mum but I never wanted kids. Had one and I'm a good mum, and yes I'm good with other people's kids. I just respond to her and have a connection with her. I listen to her and nuture her. I wasn't always this way though, I went through bad mental health issues and shouted a lot. Now, I would say I'm a brilliant mum and want to keep it up.

I don’t know any mums like this. Thank god!

@CoveredInCobwebs I am not jealous of my friend just as I am not jealous of another friend who competed in the Olympics. Some people have extraordinary skills. We can't all be that way.

Does she work full-time as well?

@mavismorpoth She does yes. Her house is messy. She is not a perfect movie mum. But her skills with kids are just exceptional.

I know one, she isnt perfect, house isnt perfect but she has like a golden glow, has it all together, kids are kind and lovely, home is warm and inviting, I wish I could tell her really without being weird and creepy....

Hell I wish she was MY mum

@redjoker Yes I wish she was my mum too! My mum was lovely, but like me, good enough.

My mum imo. She's not perfect but I look up to her as role model for my own parenting

Again, without being weird, I feel better for knowing her; and for knowing her children. Her children have a positive influence on mine. Shes insightful and easy to get on with. Maybe underneath it all shes a mess. Like the rest of us.

Maybe ill have a glass of wine and tell her how much I love her

😝

Yep as long as they look great, that's what matters, eh....

Something's got to give when you work full-time and she chose right it seems. Some would prioritise the house. Hats off to her then because I'm only the mum I can be because I have no work stress.

My mum. The most gregarious, fun, supportive, incredible woman and I’m so lucky to have her as a mum. We never had much money but our birthday parties as kids were the best because she was the most hilarious host and even when I bump into people now people fondly remember our year 5 birthday bashes!

She was just born to be a mum, can chat to anyone, everyone likes her. As an introvert and the polar opposite I am in constant awe of my mum and wish I was more like her!

Great thread OP!
We are so quick to tear others down or to think that in order to justify ourselves we need to point at someone else we think is doing something worse than us. How refreshing to have a thread celebrating someone else’s strengths. I’d love to be like your friend. Maybe with practice one day I can be. But like you, I’ll keep taking note of people who do things better than I do and learn from them.
If you can find a non-creepy way to tell her she’s doing a great job, please do!

@Panapan I did tell her. She blushed and said thanks.

It's not always clear that someone is abusive when you marry them and laterhave children. Often they hide it from everyone very effectively until later.

This is victim blaming. As if it's possible to tell in all cases. It isn't. Your comments are disgusting. I hope for your DD's that they are never abused by a partner because it is horrific anyway let alone to them have family members who think it's your own fault. How horrendous.

I am imagining you as the female Rab C. Nesbit. But rougher.

Actual snorty lol 😆

@StarfishBrain
I don't agree what I said was victim blaming. No one is blaming women for the fact that men choose to be abusive.

Things are a bit better these days, people are more aware of it, there are hard but possible ways to leave. But if someone then chooses to stay, that is their choice.

I would always encourage anyone to leave if they found themselves in an abusive relationship.

It’s a bit late to say you’re not blaming women for the fact men can turn abusive, you said it loud and clear in your first post. Very loudly and very clearly.

Yes, mine. RIP mum