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Original poster

Does downstairs return to normal after birth?!

94 replies

Rachell1 · 17/10/2022 09:44

Hi ladies,

Ok so. I need to make a decision asap re vaginal birth (vbac) or ELECS.

I was really leaning towards giving a vaginal birth a good go, partly because I really want to experience it and worry that I will one day regret not giving it a go. Partly because I have a toddler and can’t imagine how hard it would be running around after him while trying to recover from the c section surgery.

However…. I came across (by accident) a long thread on here where 99% of women have said that their down below didn’t really return to ‘normal’ OR they have suffered with prolapses. My mum has a prolapse womb and has and still is going through hell with it, also childbirth destroyed her bladder and she has had to have numerous surgeries/steroids etc to try to help her. Although she is likely to end up having to self catheter.

I’ve spoken to the mums I know who have had vaginal births and only one says downstairs wasn’t really effected.. my sister in law had to have surgery to tighten it again as it was destroying her relationship!! And other sister in law tore so badly she says every time she has sex she is in pain and is not allowed a vaginal birth again as last time’s tear was that bad.

I just didn’t think of any of this and now i’m panicking….!!!!

OP posts:

SallyWD · 17/10/2022 09:48

I can only speak for myself - I have prolapsed uterus, bladder and bowel. However, they healed up to an extent and don't impact my life at all. I have a normal sex life.

LT2 · 17/10/2022 09:48

I think I'm probably the exception but it is more uncomfortable since I gave birth, to have penetrative sex. Birth was 9 months ago - a really quick and easy birth. I was surprised at how it wasn't as bad as I imagined it would be, and yet I have this after! I did tear a few times.

ChilliBandit · 17/10/2022 09:49

Obviously it is very much a case by case basis but for my experience I have one child, I had an episiotomy. Stitches healed no issue. I waited about 4/5 months to have sex again (my choice but I think it helped it heal fully) Felt a little tight down there for about 6 months when crouching down. From then, absolutely fine. Feels no different to before. I am told it looks no different. No bladder problems, but I do kegal crunches as and when I remember.

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theendof · 17/10/2022 09:58

I have two DC, both normal vaginal births, no issues, v minor tear with DC1 just stung a bit for a few days. All back to normal within a few weeks each time and no issues - appreciate I am lucky!

coffeeisthebest · 17/10/2022 10:00

All back to normal pretty quickly here, and not having to recover from major surgery with a toddler on the go was a big factor for me too. Obviously it is an unknown OP, but hope it all goes well whatever you decide!

Original poster

Rachell1 · 17/10/2022 10:07

Thank you all! Glad to hear no absolute horror stories!! I really really do want to give it a go.. opinions also welcome on c section vs vaginal (particularly with a toddler). I appreciate I am probably really overthinking this, it’s just the recovery from the last c section wasn’t great and I was so unbelievably exhausted and upset about not being able to do much for myself. I couldn’t even reach over to pick baby up without having to ask someone to pass him to me! It also took a while for me to get over the fact that I didn’t get the birth I envisioned, which I know many women don’t but it did get to me! I know this time round could also end up as a c section but I suppose at least I could say I tried!?

OP posts:

user443741922 · 17/10/2022 10:09

Completely back to normal after 2.
It's so crazy when I think what my body has gone through and now it's like it never happened!!

Sniffypete · 17/10/2022 10:11

Had a c-section. Still pee when I sneeze laugh or cough!

MollieTD · 17/10/2022 10:17

I’m three months post partum with a huge baby an episiotomy and internal tear and everything’s absolutely back to normal - for the first six weeks or so it felt like my insides were falling out, struggled with bowel movements, incontinence when running, sex though it wasn’t painful felt weird, thought it would never be the same again - then a couple of weeks and plenty of pelvic floor exercises and yoga, everything felt as it did before.

BackOnTheBandWagon · 17/10/2022 10:22

I had an episiotomy that was badly stitched, so took about 9 months to properly heal to the point where I had no pain during sex, but now it's fine, and sex is actually better than it was before (genuinely don't know how that works!!)

20viona · 17/10/2022 10:23

After my first I was stitched too tight internally so had an op to sort it all out, good to go within 8 weeks and back to normal. Conceived our daughter 6 months later and have just given birth to her 6 weeks ago and been stitched again, haven't tested her out yet but she looks bloody excellent externally 🤣

worriedtoddlermumma · 17/10/2022 10:24

I had a very bad 3rd degree tear with DD and 2 hours in surgery after, honestly recovery wasn't that bad/painful, we waited around 5 months to have sex again just because I was worried it would be painful but it was absolutely fine and everything down there is completely back to normal.

GingerFoxInAT0phat · 17/10/2022 10:31

I’ve had 2 vaginal births, the second was with forceps and episiotomy and everything’s pretty much the same as before barring a scar if you look closely.

However, if I was in the position again where I was going to give birth I would go for a C Sect. I wasn’t listened to and had no control at all during my last birth with my midwife. Once a Dr came (after hours) things immediately improved. But I hate the thought that your birth can go different ways depending on if you get a decent or awful midwife.

Stopyourhavering64 · 17/10/2022 10:32

Have had emcs, elective CS and then trial of labour with normal vaginal delivery....recovery from vaginal delivery was by far the easiest!

Paranoidandroidmarvin · 17/10/2022 10:36

Mine didn’t. But I think I am out of the ordinary. Prolapses. Bladder problems. Only ever had one child becuase of it. But most people I know didn’t have this.

Whattodonowadays · 17/10/2022 10:36

I have had 4 vaginal births, with no tears or stitches, everything is normal. Everyone is different so I wouldn’t let other peoples experiences put you off if you want to have the vaginal birth. It is such an Amazon experience, I am actually sad that I will never give birth again. Four kids is definitely enough! 😂

Whattodonowadays · 17/10/2022 10:37

Amazon! 🤣 I meant amazing! X

Rutland2022 · 17/10/2022 10:42

Mine did! I had no damage and looks the same according to DH. I think it’s all slightly darker in colour though but that might be menopause related now.

I know I was lucky though! I was also old (41) and had a great, short, labour and birth.
I very nearly went for ELCS as I was terrified and am so glad I didn’t as my recovery was immediate and I didn’t feel any pain once the placenta out. TMI but even the first wee and poo didn’t hurt which astonished me. Bodies can do amazing things.

Janeycraney · 17/10/2022 10:42

What was the reason for having a c section with your first? I had to make this decision and went with another c section. My reasons were: 1) that the case of the EMCS was at least 40% likely to occur again and I didn’t want the risks of another EMCS. 2) that I had in place a plan for people to be around to help me with lifting etc for the first 6 weeks of recovery and c) that I wasn’t planning on having any more children as the more c sections you have, the riskier subsequent births are.

sorry no experience of vaginal birth here but have healed nicely with 2 c sections. The elective c section was a much more calm and organised affair than the EMCS and I was able to arrange childcare in advance etc. the recovery was about the same (although I did get an infection after the second but was cleared up with antibiotics)

USaYwHatNow · 17/10/2022 10:50

I recently added a thread thinking I had a rectocele. Turned out the GP (who diagnosed me over the phone by the way...) was wrong and my pelvic floor is actually pretty strong and there's no sign of a prolapse. I'm 7 weeks post first baby, born via ventouse, 5 hours start to finish, and the symptoms I was experiencing were due to a haematoma (bruise) which I'm pleased to say is getting better and the symptoms are easing

TeeBee · 17/10/2022 10:50

I've had two vaginal births, one with a major tear. Perfectly fine down there afterwards. I did lots of pelvic floor exercises after both births.

Winceybincey · 17/10/2022 10:57

The thing is you won’t see a thread on here saying ‘my Vag is okay 12 months after childbirth’. You won’t see much of them commenting on the type of threads you mentioned either as their input probably wouldn’t be welcome.

id say normal recoveries are the norm. It’s not uncommon for there to be issues but I bet most people you know who’ve given birth haven’t had any problems?

I’ve had 3 large babies between 9lb and 10lb and I’m fine. Sex feels how it’s always felt and my husband has had the snip as he doesn’t trust not getting me pregnant again. I haven’t looked at it in the mirror mind, but everything feels normal.

it’s your choice but I wouldn’t choose a section on the off chance you’ll have an issue down there. What was the reason for a section with your last child?

PointerSister · 17/10/2022 10:58

I’ve had v births with episiotomies both times and everything is fine down there. Resumed as normal after 3 weeks for both 😬. But that was my choice and I wasn’t in any pain/ no infection etc. I was in my 20s both times though and I think my age and ability to heal was probably a lot better than it would be for me now. But everyone is different 🤷‍♀️. Just go with you feel and don’t be pressured into anything you don’t feel ready for. That’s what hands are for 😅

Buttons294749 · 17/10/2022 10:59

Completely normal again after 2 x VB

I had an episiostomy but it didnt cause any issues.

lannistunut · 17/10/2022 10:59

Some of the issues, like prolapse, happen as a result of pregnancy not birth itself. There are other risks with CS. Whatever you decide try to go in with no preconceptions/expectations as it could go either way in either scenario.

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