Does downstairs return to normal after birth?!

[Rachell1]

Hi ladies,

Ok so. I need to make a decision asap re vaginal birth (vbac) or ELECS.

I was really leaning towards giving a vaginal birth a good go, partly because I really want to experience it and worry that I will one day regret not giving it a go. Partly because I have a toddler and can’t imagine how hard it would be running around after him while trying to recover from the c section surgery.

However…. I came across (by accident) a long thread on here where 99% of women have said that their down below didn’t really return to ‘normal’ OR they have suffered with prolapses. My mum has a prolapse womb and has and still is going through hell with it, also childbirth destroyed her bladder and she has had to have numerous surgeries/steroids etc to try to help her. Although she is likely to end up having to self catheter.

I’ve spoken to the mums I know who have had vaginal births and only one says downstairs wasn’t really effected.. my sister in law had to have surgery to tighten it again as it was destroying her relationship!! And other sister in law tore so badly she says every time she has sex she is in pain and is not allowed a vaginal birth again as last time’s tear was that bad.

I just didn’t think of any of this and now i’m panicking….!!!!

Vaginal delivery with help needed. Large tear and stitches.

Healed with no problems. I can feel the stitches on my perineum if I make a point of doing so with fingers but no issues with sex/sensation/elasticity etc.

2 sisters also had 2 vaginal births each, 2 with forceps and all with stitches. No issues.

I've had 3 vagunal births. First was with forceps but everything was fine after, the other two were with no intervention and all back to normal after a few weeks. I did (still do) pelvic floor exercises religiously! So that may have helped. Still wee a bit if I don't cross my legs when I sneeze though

I’ve had 7 children over 4 decades, no problems whatsoever with bladder control or prolapse after any of them.

I had two sections and babies 20 months apart in my 40s. It wasn't an issue but I did stick to the no driving for six weeks which meant walking everywhere, obviously heavier with two. Good for exercise though. I healed fine was out and about as soon as I got home.

Mine did,but I am a retired midwife and know the importance of pelvic floor exercises.They are vital.

Had natural birth but with 2nd degree tear. We were back having sex after 3 weeks and dh said everything felt the same.

Had a c-section. Still pee when I sneeze laugh or cough!

Pregnancy & getting older alone does damage. My pelvic floor was weaker after 2nd dc despite them being a CS.

I have a prolapsed uterus and bowel. It doesn't affect me too much tbh, no pain etc and sex is fine.

My episiotomy from ds1 is sore/tight sometimes but isn't a bother.

To add: my prolapse was caused by pushing without a contraction. DS2 heart rate was decelerating a lot so they needed him out Now.

Wouldn't say that was the norm, but two prolapses from the strain of muscle.

3 vaginal births. Everything down there ok (and I had big babies and am tiny). I think the worst ‘damage’ was caused by pregnancy itself - ie haemorrhoids, backache initially, stretch marks, weaker tummy muscles, etc, etc, and so couldn’t be avoided.

I personally would never choose a C Section unless necessary.

I've given birth twice and I'm.bavk.to normal. I did feel a bit tighter after my first. I had an internal graze, no stitches or anything but I definitely felt a bit tighter after I healed. I had 2 stitches with my second but completely normal back to how I was previously after.

Really thought that this thread was going to be about messy living rooms.

3 vaginal births. One was a 12 year gap. All. Completely normal no issues

Mine was fine about a week after my VB. It wasn't a straightforward birth either.

I think that was dumb luck though.

There's no guarantee!

I will say I also had an ELCS with another dc and sex was extremely painful for months after. Think dc was quite stuck in there and the surgeon nearly had to use forceps to get her out! A lot of wriggling etc. So I wonder if that was what caused the pain.

I don't think it's possible to guarantee no damage when a human being has just exited your body! But, neither option is guaranteed dreadful either.

3 births here, all normal, enjoy sex no problem. No ongoing health issues which I am very grateful for.

This is derailing the thread a bit but does anyone have any tips for having sex the first time after childbirth? Dd is nearly 7 months old now and dh and I still haven't had sex because I'm nervous about looking / feeling different. It's like I just have a block.

If you've already had a c section then personally I would go for another section - no point risking both a c section scar and the damage from VB!

I had three sections and anecdotally I think I have had less long term issues than my friends who had VBs.

Mine's fine. Absolutely fine. Had a second degree tear I didn't really feel and felt only slightly bruised for a couple of days.

I've had both, an emergency section with my first child and assisted (ventouse) vaginal birth. I was booked in for a section but my second daughter came 2 weeks early. I had to decide quickly if I still wanted the section. I was glad I managed the vaginal birth as I also didn't want to be recovering with a 2 year old and a newborn. Sex life is normal. I can feel my episiotomy scar sometimes but other that, I'd say sex still feels good. Hard devision and one only you can make.

I sympathise with this. In some ways I just did it to get it over and done with which sounds awful but it helped move things along to the point where I did start to enjoy it. It was definitely uncomfortable the first few times.

Two DC three years apart, both vaginal births and no issues after the first few weeks of healing

I was absolutely fine after my first birth at 26. Second birth at 36 I've been left with a rectocele and stress incontinence so I'd maybe suggest age and physical shape might be important

Nothing really goes back I don't think... not for me anyway! My most annoying post birth hangovers are piles. I tore with two of my deliveries and it took a year or so for the scar tissue to heal properly. Bladder control is not what it was. But
I don't know how a c section would have treated me either. At the end of the day labour is about removing a whole other (albeit) person from inside your torso, so it's not a huge surprise it doesn't leave any marks 😂

*(albeit smaller)

I’ve read every response so far and really am finding it helpful, not just that but also really interesting hearing everyone’s experiences!

I am still quite torn (excuse the pun), like I said earlier part of me just simply wants to experience vaginal birth (plus I very much doubt i’d go for number 3 so this could very well be my last chance), but then part of me feels a planned c section has it’s benefits too.

Reason for last c section was because they started the drip to intensify the contractions (although I personally felt I was doing ok and was slowly progressing), and babies heart rate dropped dangerously low. To be honest if I do give a vbac a go, I wouldn’t want any intervention apart from a section if I fail to progress after a certain point. I have heard that hormonal interventions put you at a much greater risk of needing a very rushed emergency section?