Does downstairs return to normal after birth?!

[Rachell1]

Hi ladies,

Ok so. I need to make a decision asap re vaginal birth (vbac) or ELECS.

I was really leaning towards giving a vaginal birth a good go, partly because I really want to experience it and worry that I will one day regret not giving it a go. Partly because I have a toddler and can’t imagine how hard it would be running around after him while trying to recover from the c section surgery.

However…. I came across (by accident) a long thread on here where 99% of women have said that their down below didn’t really return to ‘normal’ OR they have suffered with prolapses. My mum has a prolapse womb and has and still is going through hell with it, also childbirth destroyed her bladder and she has had to have numerous surgeries/steroids etc to try to help her. Although she is likely to end up having to self catheter.

I’ve spoken to the mums I know who have had vaginal births and only one says downstairs wasn’t really effected.. my sister in law had to have surgery to tighten it again as it was destroying her relationship!! And other sister in law tore so badly she says every time she has sex she is in pain and is not allowed a vaginal birth again as last time’s tear was that bad.

I just didn’t think of any of this and now i’m panicking….!!!!

www.rcog.org.uk/media/kpkjwd5h/gtg_45.pdf

That's the RCOG VBAC guidelines - worth a read.

Back to normal after both, had tears both times and first time took a bit longer to enjoy sex, but was fine with time and, after second baby, was back to normal within a few weeks.

I've had three VB, stitches with the first two, all completely normal once healed.

I was more scared of the pain than the disfigurement but the stories at my work of those who had given birth recently having prolapses, constantly wetting themselves and needing surgery for it was what swayed me even more towards a c-section. It was the best ever, I’m completely unchanged (obviously appearance wise) but I can do things like running, jumping etc exactly as I could before having a baby with zero issues. I always thought that just didn’t happen, no matter what way they came out!

Hi, I have a 19mo, I had 2nd degree tearing and stitches. I feel my vag went back to normal but sex did feel a little bit 'tighter' than normal I'd say first couple times pro-birth but feels back to normal now, although I do tend to spot after sex and they've since found a complex cyst on my ovary. Possibly caused by hormone imbalances since having DS.
But vag fine, no complaints from DH anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️

I had an emergency c section and the recovery was awful. My next one was an elective section and it couldn't have been more different. I was up and about a few hours later, thr pain was minimal compared to the first one. I even went to a kids birthday party a few days after it. I don't know about a Vbac but I know I would have had another traumatic labour that would have ended up with another emergency c section and I couldn't face that.
Good luck whatever you choose 😀

My first was a vaginal delivery. Recovered relatively quickly with no problems.
My second was an emergency c section....I went to the supermarket 2 days after it to do the weekly shop😆
My point is we all recover differently, if I could choose I would have a vaginal delivery only because getting up in

Stupid phone! Getting up in the night took a bit longer!

I'm fine with jumping etc (I've had assisted VB and ELCS). No continence or "downstairs" issues. But my ELCS unfortunately did leave me with a bit of a sticky out belly. I looked pregnant for ages which I didn't get with my VB. I don't think my core has gone back to normal still and it was 4 years ago!

I think people expect no physical change with ELCS but I was way more changed by mine than I was my VB. I think the risks of incontinence are scary though and I definitely see why women wouldn't choose VB. If I hadn't done it myself and recovered so quickly, I don't think I'd have believed it to be possible.

I do think this thread shows that either option can be not as bad as you expect. Even my ELCS which was worse than my VB in terms of my body was not bad at all and it was necessary for my baby's health, so VB was not even an option in my mind

Just seeing this in my folder I thought I’d add that whilst I was fixated on a c-section with my first and even went and fought for my right to have one which was grudgingly approved. Weirdly I got to about six months and had this overwhelming desire to give birth ‘naturally’.

It honestly felt primitive in my desire to see the process to its conclusion. Even more weirdly with my second I actually looked forward to the labour and saw it as a finale of sorts!!! So god knows what hormones were at play with that complete turnaround in thinking but they must have been strong!!!!

I had a prolapse. It's not talked about enough. However I tried Bowen Therapy after 11 months and it pretty much sorted out.
I called on with treatments until half way through my next pregnancy and it never recurred.

Try to give birth upright or hands and knees and don't be put on your back.

Three vaginal births, one forceps, two episiotomies - no long term issues, quick recoveries, no problems at all with continence or anything 5 years on.

The only thing I would say is my labia are a bit ragged after the epis

More or less same story!

Had section with my first. All good recovery wise. Everything back to normal by 6 week check.

Had VBAC 6 years later... forceps and episiotomy. Stitched bad, infection, months to recover.

Would personally choose a section over vaginal as i think for me recovery was easier via section.

I had an emcs and a vbac with episiotomy but nothing else. The vbac was easier, hard work at the time though.
I had a really quick I thought recovery from the emcs but the recovery from the vbac was better. I was still sore (muscles from pushing and my vagina) and was given painkillers.
Had an episiotomy because the skin was preventing exit and it healed in exactly the same way as my CS scar, even down to giving me random twinges several months later.

I've had two none straight forward vontousse/forceps deliveries.
Tore badly with both, the second also had episiotomy and still tore.
Bladder and incontinence issues for a while.
Stitching scars are noticeable in mirror however I don't make a habit of looking.
Took approx 6 months for sex to be bareable and a year to be remotely pleasurable.
I'm banned from vaginal births due to high risk or prolapse or incontinence and wouldn't be allowed to go past 35 weeks as I deliver not long after and they said I can't risk further complications.
Luckily the DS that did the damage was my last.
I opted for vaginal as I didn't want the recovery time of a section but as it happens I would of recovered significantly quicker it seems.

Everyone is different though and what happens with one won't with another.

I’ve had 4 virginal births, 1st was back to back and ended up having an epidural, 2nd was a very quick birth, 3rd was a fairly normal birth and 4th was very quick due to being induced (even tho I was having contractions and had fast births previously!!) - fair to say that everything is defo ok down there! Defo learn how to do your pelvic floor properly and then ensure you do the exercises - I don’t pee when I sneeze, laugh or go on a trampoline!!!

10 years after a third degree tear:
I can’t use tampons anymore, which is a nightmare as I am a flooded and always used two lots of san pro together.
I also piss myself if there is any pressure on my abdomen (tight belt etc), sneezing, coughing, walking fast.
sex and smears hurt.
I have to wash myself after using the toilet as thanks to skin tags and scar tissue, it’s the only way I can get clean.

My friend, who had a fourth degree tear, healed up completely fine and just ran the marathon with no trouble at all. 🤷‍♂️

Two vaginal births. Episiotomy with first (ginormous head!) and required stitches. Second no problems.
Back to normal quite quickly. No long term issues with continence etc.

With my first I had a third degree tear but went back to normal after a few weeks. 2nd was a natural birth but knowing the baby had sadly passed away at 31 weeks and was actually born in the sack so no tear or stitches needed. Third birth ended up with another third degree terse but this time I tore my urethra so I needed stitches and a catheter (not pleasant)
However, sex now (two years in) is absolutely fine and back to normal but I do have a much weaker bladder and I have to cross my legs when I sneeze. I also have it wear tenna ladies every day just in case.
If I was to have another baby I wound absolutely insist on a c section and also have my tubes tied 🙈 I can't risk any more problems downstairs- I definitely have lost my ability to "hold it"