How much help have you had as adult?

[antelopevalley]

Just curious how much help you have had as an adult?
Both DP and I have not had much.
I left home at 18, DP at 19 years old. Both sets of parents are now dead.
Since 18 years old we and the children have both had small Christmas and birthday presents every year. A nice box of chocolates, perfume, books for the children kind of level. We also gave presents.
DP lived with his parents when 20 for six months when eh would have otherwise been homeless.
I was given £300 at 19 years old towards a holiday when I was working lots of overtime to afford it - DM topped up my earnings with this.
Given champagne, flowers and wine glasses when we married.
I was given a £1000 by my parents about 4 years ago when we were struggling as our Christmas present.
I inherited just under £2,000 when they died.
DP inherited £5,000 when his parents died.
No babysitting or practical help ever, but we do live a long way from where either lived.
Everything else we have ever had we have earned. We have paid for help when we needed it, neither of us are high earners but we manage okay and are savvy.

DH inherited a 3 bed house and a few thousand pounds when his mum and dad died when he was 19 (a couple of years before we met.) Not exactly lucky, but financially I apprecjate that it's a nice position to be in.

We have deliberately stayed local to my parents as we're close. They are in their late 50s and retired. They help out ad hoc with childcare. My dad's employer gave me a few thousand pounds towards my studies. I have been given one lump sum of £10k for my pension. The children inherited £1k each from my gran.

I spent many years feeling ashamed of the financial position DH and I have found ourselves in. However now I can see that we've also as a team taken those generous gifts and used them sensibly. One of those real mixes of luck and judgement which have made our lives better.

Loads from my Great Aunt and Uncle. Gave me my first property which I still own and paid the mortgage off on my second. Now owe very little on my current home. I’ve been incredibly lucky.

My parents bought my wedding dress and our wedding cake, otherwise I have been on my own pretty much - paid my own way through university, bought our house without help etc

Lots always...Cars, small business start-ups/endless childcare for my 3 DC's when I was working or going out/help around my own house with everything/money for all sorts of things (DFather was Chinese, very traditional which added to his sense of duty/caring for me as a child and an adult. It's just the way it was and I never knew any different. He was helping to fix things, doing half my ironing & cooking for us all until he passed away at 89. We miss him DREADFULLY - not just for those reasons! The care went both ways though - I 'looked after' him as much as I could, and now look after elderly DM now, because I want to and to honour him.
But yes, we were very 'lucky'

Baby sitting by my now dead mum. That's it. She couldn't afford to help with money, in fact I helped her out by paying for things over the years. No inheritance from either parent. Not a penny. But I don't mind.

Got £2k when we got married 17 years ago & £2k towards laser eye surgery a few years ago.

My parents are not 'children' people so never had help with babysitting etc...

I work for a mortgage broker & see many instances where parents of 20 something's pay the house deposit for their kids, often £30-40k. So it's not un-common at all.

Personally, I don't care about the money side of things, I would of just loved some more 'practical/emotional help, like giving me a hand moving my furniture when I moved out to my first flat at 19 or giving me a lift home from town after my 21 birthday, rather than having to walk the streets alone.

I can't imagine not doing these things for my child.

I think it's a generational thing. My parents were born in the late 40's early/50's.

I don't think parental help was considered as normal then as it is now.

@Spoldge45 My parents were born at about the same time as yours. I know my father was working full-time at 15 years old and they had their first child by 20 years old. So they had a different view if how capable you should be at a younger age than parents now. They also had parents affected by the war. My grandfather was in the army abroad, so they had an idea of really harsh times.

I envy people who have loving supportive families, I would have loved that. We have created that for our DC.
I had and continue to have zero support from either parents. Parents divorced when I was 13 as DM had an affair. DF moved abroad and decided he no longer wanted to be a parent.
I moved out permanently at 18, my mum bought me and my brother out first cars but when I was in a car accident I got some compensation and she decided to add up everything she had spent over the last few years and guilt tripped me to give her over 5k. My DM new husband abused me and it was spun around to be my fault. WTAF.
My brother never paid her a penny back. Both my parents are crap and I have little do with them.

My parents did childcare for me two days a week until my mum died. That must have saved me an absolute fortune.

@purplepencilcase · Yesterday 16:34
Nothing- this thread is actually quite upsetting as it just goes to show what difference getting a leg up in life makes.
Life is very unfair. At least I can say I'm entirely self made.

And you have every reason to be proud of yourself knowing you made it by yourself and can take all the credit !

I find it galling too. I was forced to leave home at 15 & that was that. I still feel very hurt decades on that there's literally no one I can lean on.

I lost my first husband in an accident when we were both 29. Thankfully he had been insistent, due to the nature of his job, that we had life insurance. It paid the mortgage off and enabled me to stay in our home without more upset and upheaval. My parents didn't have much money and I've never had any inheritance, but I worked full-time and managed to keep my head above water.