How much help have you had as adult?

[antelopevalley]

Just curious how much help you have had as an adult?
Both DP and I have not had much.
I left home at 18, DP at 19 years old. Both sets of parents are now dead.
Since 18 years old we and the children have both had small Christmas and birthday presents every year. A nice box of chocolates, perfume, books for the children kind of level. We also gave presents.
DP lived with his parents when 20 for six months when eh would have otherwise been homeless.
I was given £300 at 19 years old towards a holiday when I was working lots of overtime to afford it - DM topped up my earnings with this.
Given champagne, flowers and wine glasses when we married.
I was given a £1000 by my parents about 4 years ago when we were struggling as our Christmas present.
I inherited just under £2,000 when they died.
DP inherited £5,000 when his parents died.
No babysitting or practical help ever, but we do live a long way from where either lived.
Everything else we have ever had we have earned. We have paid for help when we needed it, neither of us are high earners but we manage okay and are savvy.

A fair amount

I had an inheritance from my Grandpa of around 6k that help with uni. I had a car from my other grandparents (their old one).

Financially I had around 3k for my wedding, but otherwise nothing. But practically they offer lots of help and support, help with moving house, looking after our pets. I've always got a place to stay. Plus they are generous with meals out and things like that. They are wonderful.

DHs parents again contributed to the wedding but otherwise nothing else.

And my grandma has given me some money over the years at various points, maybe up to another 5k.

But I have always worked since I was 16, paid my rent/bills/board. I don't need more financial support from anyone, and don't want anymore. But I know if I were to ask my parents they would help. I find the lack of any kind of practical/emotional support from DHs parents quite hard for him, I find they have the most bizarre uncaring, formal attitude towards their children.

I worked from 13 alongside school/college/uni because my parents didn't have enough to help me besides £5 weekly pocket money. I started paying board at 16. DH and I are from very similar backgrounds and neither of us had help towards our uni costs from parents, no help towards wedding, cars, house deposit and there won't be an inheritance from either side.

I'm hoping to be able to help our own DC much more but will still expect them to work for what they want and save up as we both did.

I do always get a little spoiled at Christmas and my birthday by DM but from being a child if I've wanted something I've had to wait until xmas/birthday for it.

Forgot to add DM is a childminder and will be for my DC but I will be paying her the going rate. No doubt she will also provide plenty of babysitting though and she's currently adding a couple of babygrows/pack of nappies etc. to her weekly shop while I'm pregnant 🥰 she's lovely

Loads. They struggled with the emotional stuff (spent most of my childhood telling me how worthless I was unless I excelled) so threw money at me instead. They paid me for my exam results. Allowance at University and loads of M&S vouchers (I worked as well). £10 000 to go travelling with. Deposit for house. Couple of thousand as a wedding present. A car when I passed my driving test.

I also inherited a reasonable chuck from my paternal Grandmother.

Dh got even more help. His parents gave us a third of the cost of our first house as a deposit and paid for a fancy new kitchen. They probably give us and his siblings at least 20 000 a year each for various reasons.

My DH and I get a lot of support from both sets of parents. They are very involved with our children's lives: have them during the holidays, help with school pick ups, have them overnight, Facetime them etc. With us, they offer lots of emotional support, when needed, and have previously helped financially. My parents help with school fees as my dad is a very high earner.

We get on well with both sets and see them regularly. I wouldn't have survived my PND with DD2 without my MIL as she supported lots when she was a newborn.

If I called either sets of parents and asked for a favour or help, they would all do their best to rally.

I truly feel blessed to have such wonderful sets of parents, and will do everything in my power to make sure to support them in their older age as we do now.

My parents have been generous both financially (giving us money towards our wedding and house deposit) and practically (help with childcare when the DC were little). I'll inherit too unless it's eaten up by care home costs (they don't have much money in savings, but do own their home).

As parents we have taken the view that we would rather help our children in their twenties onwards rather than leave it for them to inherit when they are much older and hopefully financially better off. We gave each of our 3 just shy of 5 figures when an investment came in with a much better return than we expected

Our daughter used hers as a deposit for a house, cheaper here in the East Midlands, our youngest son is keeping his to go with his help to buy savings and the eldest for 6 months rent and keeping the rest for a rainy day.

we have just had our first grandchild and gave them 1500 towards baby costs.

we review regularly to try to balance what we need now and what we can give to them.

i do realise that we are very fortunate to be able to help them and wouldn’t want anyone to think that my post is boastful at all, it’s just a decision we made.My parents were wealthy but didn’t help us at all and in the end all of their money went on care costs. We made our own way but some help in the early days would really have helped and we are mindful of that.

I left home at 18. It was to go travelling, not because I had a bad home life. My parents gave me £1,000 towards my wedding but other than that, they haven't helped because I haven't needed it. I'm sure they'd give me the shirts off their backs if I did. DH inherited £35,000 when his mum died, his dad is still alive and helped him through buying his first flat when he was 24. He also gave us £1,000 towards our wedding.

I was given my first and second car
lot of practical help in my first house
unlimited free childcare

when I inherited from my late parents earlier this year I was originally going to buy my DS a newish car for around 15k

instead I’ve given him 50k deposit for a flat
Around 10k for fees and moving in - he has nothing apart from a lot of clothes 😂
paid of a 10k loan
bought him a new car - 20k
paid for a holiday for him and his partner next year 3k
I often give him £100 here and there if he is going away

but thats it the rest is mine 😂

My parents took me and my toddler daughter in during my divorce. Dad then gave me some money to help me set ourselves up in a house rental. Many years later I benefited from an inheritance from them which I passed on to my daughter and son-in-law for a house deposit. I have also paid for their wedding and paid off their car loans. I joyfully look after my little grandson two days a week. They are in a better position now, as my daughter has just landed a really good management role with an international company. So glad to be able to help them and I am so glad to see the results, rather than waiting to pass it on after I've died. Both of my brothers adult children have also had plenty of financial and practical help.

My parents emigrated when I was 24 and living with them. They lent me a deposit for a house as I hadn't saved up

Posted too soon. They lent me a deposit as I hadn't saved enough by that point. I paid it back within about 5 years.

I also inherited some money from my grandfather - my mother was his only child and she died before him so the money came down to the next generation.

No real practical help from anyone though.

Lots and lots, financially, emotionally, just have fun as a family together, I don't think my kids or myself realize how lucky we have been (from one family member anyway).

The lower house prices are true, although I remember rents being pretty high. It is why there was a big squatting movement, many people could not afford rent. Few working-class people used to go to university, it was mainly middle-class people who did. From my large secondary school in a deprived area, I think about 10 people went to university. Most left school at 16 and got a job.
Childcare provision used to be very poor. No free 15 or 30 hours. It was childcare
tax credits that changed that. Health services were better when Labour was in power, earlier than that when the Tories were in the health service was dire.

None. They’ve lent me a total of £2k over the years to pay rent but I had to set up DD to repay them.

Generous Christmas and birthday presents (clothes, books, perfume type things, usually up to around a couple of hundred pounds).

They are well off, been mortgage free for around 30 years (in their 80s now), having owned three houses from their 40’s alongside professional jobs.

In my 20s
£350k towards a house in London.
Final £8k of student loan paid off.
Car for 20th birthday present.
Another car around 26 when I changed career and had sold the previous one while working abroad.
Lived at home a couple of times for a few months in 20s without paying towards bills etc
Both Masters degree fees

In my 30s
Financial contribution to humongous nursery fees each month (about a quarter of total)

Always
Absolute love and support; total belief in me - which is so much more valuable than the generosity above.

In return, I do everything I can to emotionally and practically support my elderly widower father. Visit twice weekly when possible. Speak on phone multiple times a day. I also never ever take my good fortune of birth, or his love and generosity, for granted. I will do the same for my children.

Should add, they are lovely and love me very much. It just hasn’t / wouldn’t occur to them to give me money.

Fuck all.

A hell of a lot of help from parents and step parents. I've been absolutely blessed. That's financial and emotional. I can't tell you how good it feels to feel like nothing is ever a problem.

My H doesn't have the same support and loves my family very much. We will be there in the same way for our children, always.

Not to sound harsh but people who have lost family members and inherited always say they would sooner have their relatives back.. people lose loved ones and don't inherit a penny. It's such a pointless caveat.

nothing monetary. My DM has looked after the children once a year whilst DH and I went away and then I was in hospital.

we support MIL financially, rather than her supporting us and no childcare there.

I agree. We would all like our loved ones back. We all have people die we love. Some of us inherit, and some do not.

Zero support.

I love my parents but they don't have any money and are too old to help with childcare.

I'm proud of the life I've created as I've done it completely on my own.

My parents live in a council home, Dads disabled but always worked some form of job and Mum hasn't ever worked. I hugely disagreed with Mum not working but it was a classic wife stays home with kids type of relationship.

I left home at 18, bought our first home and always worked since 15.

I got a loan out to pay for my driving lessons/car/insurance.

None at all financially. I am not particularly close with my mum. I had a baby at 18, moved in with DC's dad and his parents. Moved into a HA flat shortly after as DC's dad decided he didn't want to be a dad and kicked us out. My mum didn't want me and a baby living with her, which is her choice.

Been in that flat ever since, I'll never own a house or anything. My mum's got no money anyway and my dad isn't in my life. My mum helped with childcare very occasionally when DS was young. He's 14 now so I don't need it.

Nothing. No money or inheritance or first car or luxury gifts beyond a 2 piece set of cutlery, plates and a saucepan and frying pan. Had to pay rent when I temporarily moved back home that covered their mortgage plus half of all bills. My sister had her rent paid when she moved out, mortgage deposit gifted, holidays bought for her and her husband and inherited everything on the death of both parents. (Something north of £300k).