How much help have you had as adult?

[antelopevalley]

Just curious how much help you have had as an adult?
Both DP and I have not had much.
I left home at 18, DP at 19 years old. Both sets of parents are now dead.
Since 18 years old we and the children have both had small Christmas and birthday presents every year. A nice box of chocolates, perfume, books for the children kind of level. We also gave presents.
DP lived with his parents when 20 for six months when eh would have otherwise been homeless.
I was given £300 at 19 years old towards a holiday when I was working lots of overtime to afford it - DM topped up my earnings with this.
Given champagne, flowers and wine glasses when we married.
I was given a £1000 by my parents about 4 years ago when we were struggling as our Christmas present.
I inherited just under £2,000 when they died.
DP inherited £5,000 when his parents died.
No babysitting or practical help ever, but we do live a long way from where either lived.
Everything else we have ever had we have earned. We have paid for help when we needed it, neither of us are high earners but we manage okay and are savvy.

Left home at 19 occasionally borrowed money but paid back. Was given 1500 when I had an illness that meant I couldn't work. Paid 3k towards wedding. Pram when babies were born n. Occasional help with child care. £50 at bday and Xmas each. Inheritance will be around 70k

None, but my mother did buy me a washing machine when my daughter was born.

absolutely loads - financially, practically, emotionally. sometimes it was a bit much/smothering, but it always came from love and now that they're both gone I miss them so much.

paid for my wedding (to be fair, we were prepared to pay for it but my mum wanted a big family shindig whereas we'd have been happy with 12 folk for lunch)
gave us money randomly over the years, as they had it (£5K ish kind of level, several times)
let us stay at their house when we ended up with a three week gap between house sale/purchase
inherited £100k+

i know how lucky i was and how much it has helped me - that i was in my 40s before my parents died, that they gave me so much help, and that i always knew i had someone to count on when i really needed it. even small things like popping by theirs to use their broadband when we were super-skint is the kind of thing that i know so many people don't have.

when it comes to my kids i'm trying to give slightly less help with a lot less emotional blackmail though...

not at all.
and instead, I gave my partly income to my mum when I was young.

None. Left home at 19 to go to uni, no financial help from parents as neither of them have ever had a long term job. I took out loans and got 2 jobs to get through my degree.

Me and DP moved in together at 21 and I am currently pg with DC2, never had financial help from either set of parents but will babysit now and again.

Never inherited and never likely to as neither of our parents have money. Wouldn’t occur to either of us to call them if we were stuck for money but know that if they had it they would lend it, they just don’t have any money.

My nanna bless her if I was ever stuck would always help me out with 10/20 quid here and there when I was younger before I got my job but would always ask for it back.

and to add to that - as soon as I got my first job at 17 I gave my parents a third of it for ‘keep’

£100k from my dad, £10k from FIL and a few thousand here and there over the years.

Had help from parents with childcare which meant didn’t need to pay for childcare when working.

Parents (both sets) always there for support in a practical / emotional way, close with kids.

No financial inheritance/gifts etc but lucky to have benefitted from cheaper house prices before they went crazy, cheaper uni fees etc.

Feel for youngsters these days who have a worse deal mainly due to corporate greed, houses being used as investments rather than homes, inflated house prices and general greed/resource hoarding and individualism/capitalism gone mad. That’s my take on it anyway (I may be wrong!)

Quite a lot really.
Parents paid my rent through uni. They then paid my rent for a year so I could stay in London to do an internship.
Have had three new cars paid for by parents.
Also inherited 180k so had a mortgage free house by the age of 27.
But also grew up in a house of domestic violence, affairs, sexual abuse from another family member, and lost both parents by 27.
No financial stress but lots of emotional issues.

6 figure gift, half of wedding & 1 date free childcare a week. Very grateful but very normal amongst my peers

None, like most working class people.

I had a Saturday job at 17 though & worked whilst at uni & paid rent after that.

Despite the fact it would impact me I think IHT should be taxed more as it just perpetuates inequality.

None. My mum died fairly young. My dad then squandered what he had away. I buy his food every week. Nothing to inherit.

Loads of help. I've been very blessed because if I didn't have them, I would have been on the streets when ex-h kicked me out (house was tied to his job). They're amazing. Not wealthy so I'll never inherit a large amount, but they have helped me and siblings loads over the years with bits here and there (usually in kind rather than monetary, e.g. gave me their old car for free) and lots of help with childcare, emotional support etc.

None. Everything DH and I have, we worked for, earned or made ourselves. We never had any family help with money, or childcare.

I was pregnant at 17 got my cot for Christmas that year and a pram for my 18th birthday by then I have an income and was paying around half my monthly income.
Other then this I've had nothing no child care to the point I gave birth alone twice so DP could care for our other children!
They are still here but anything they have is to he left to our youngest sibling.
My DP lost his mother when he was two he was left inheritance wasnt massive amounts but he was also left property!
DP father takes the children out once in a blue moon.

Me - nothing in financial or practical terms since I left home (and moved country) at 16. In fact I've helped my parents out quite a bit! There will be no inheritance - they're on benefits. BUT they are consistently loving and emotionally supportive, gave me a truly amazing childhood and I know I'd always have a bed at theirs if I needed it (even if it is just the living room sofa 😆)

My DH - wealthy family, didn't move out until late twenties. Has had various handouts and inheritances. Will probably inherit a fair amount eventually. But - IMO - the emotional support/connection isn't there. And when he ended up homeless, penniless and living in a tent before I met him, his dad sent him a few hundred quid a month (not enough to rent anywhere) rather than allowing him to move back home (big house, multiple empty bedrooms) for a bit to get back on his feet.

I know which I'd prefer.

So sorry for everyone that received neither emotional nor financial support x

I went to uni and my parents helped when I was at uni as I didn’t get a full grant due to their income. I bought my own house soon after leaving uni and dad once gave me £200 to fix my front door when the lock broke. Apart from that just the usual Xmas presents.

None financially or childcare

No huge lump sums like other PPs and didn’t help towards big things like our house deposit, but my parents (divorced) have both been very generous and I’m incredibly grateful.

They pay towards the dc’s music lessons each month (which I am particularly grateful for) and always give us some spending money when we go on holiday.

Birthday and Christmas is about £100 per person (£50 ish from mum and similar from dad)

In the past they’ve bought me a washing machine when we were earning less and ours broke and every few months one of them gives me a random £100 to treat myself or £50 for a takeaway. Our wedding wasn’t expensive or big but my dad gave me a few hundred pounds which was very helpful.

Mostly though, they give me huge amounts of emotional support, especially my dad who is my rock. They live too far away to help with dc but they’ve taken them away for day trips and a couple of weekends away.

Writing it down I feel even more grateful. I am close to both of them and ring them most days.

Never any babysitting or childminding as my parents lived too far away. No monetary help. Mum left me £800 when she died (she rented). Mother in law baby sat a few times but no formal childminding, and nothing in her will. All left to favourite son. Also never helped financially. So basically fuck all in the help department. Doesn't mean they didn't love me.

Haven’t had any financial support from my parents since I was 20, and that wasn’t much, just occasionally. I’m 48 now and nothing financial since.

DH has had a small inheritance from his grandmother and then his DF after both his parents died. That helped with paying a bit off the mortgage.

My mum and dad had my children during summer holidays while I worked but they were never close enough for anything more.

We are fortunate in that we are getting on and bought our house a long time ago so although it didn’t seem it at the time, the mortgage by todays standards was not huge and is now paid off. We both have had professional jobs and I slowly increased my hours as our dses got older and for the last few years we’ve earned reasonably good joint income so no need for support.

Any inheritance I get from my parents will be earmarked for our dses.

Mother kept her widowed Father and 3 siblings with her lowish wage for 15 years until they either died or married and never owned a property. Father left school aged 12 and the family when I was 1 and only saw him once in my 30s. He never contributed anything to my upbringing. My mother was not well so couldn't help with child care.

I was fortunate to go to Uni when there were grants so didn't need help from anyone. Worked for 43 years FT in a string of reasonably well paid jobs (from home after having children).

Single parent so always been careful (or calculating) with money, paid substantial amounts of money to children for Uni, fees for under and post grads, rent, living etc. then more substantial amounts for housing. Currently look after grandchild 3 days a week. I guess the way my mother's and grandmother's generation supported each other just made it the obvious thing to do and, I might add, very enjoyable. Children will inherit house.

About £30,000 from parents and PIL for housing and wedding, plus give generous gifts throughout the year.