How much help have you had as adult?

[antelopevalley]

Just curious how much help you have had as an adult?
Both DP and I have not had much.
I left home at 18, DP at 19 years old. Both sets of parents are now dead.
Since 18 years old we and the children have both had small Christmas and birthday presents every year. A nice box of chocolates, perfume, books for the children kind of level. We also gave presents.
DP lived with his parents when 20 for six months when eh would have otherwise been homeless.
I was given £300 at 19 years old towards a holiday when I was working lots of overtime to afford it - DM topped up my earnings with this.
Given champagne, flowers and wine glasses when we married.
I was given a £1000 by my parents about 4 years ago when we were struggling as our Christmas present.
I inherited just under £2,000 when they died.
DP inherited £5,000 when his parents died.
No babysitting or practical help ever, but we do live a long way from where either lived.
Everything else we have ever had we have earned. We have paid for help when we needed it, neither of us are high earners but we manage okay and are savvy.

I have had no help in any way whatsoever from parents. I did not expect it and was therefore not disappointed when there was nothing forthcoming in the way of anything monetary or with childcare. Not even an odd babysit when I was desperate (one child in hospital the other needed looking after for one day - not a night - just a day)
Other siblings got help with money for cars, weddings paid for, large gifts for houses but more hurtful to me than anything else was the way my mother bent over backwards to look after her white grandchildren and even told my aunties they were 'her best boys'.
No trips to the panto at Christmas but took other grandchildren and then phoned me up to fucking tell me about the wonderful day out they all had.
And now breathe.........

My parents have done so much for me emotionally and financially, when I was a child and as an adult and during marriage, divorce and after, and as grandparents. They both have their strengths and their weaknesses so it's always an interesting journey, but above all else, I know they always have mine and my children's best interests at heart and I lovely them dearly and hope I can do the same for my children.

Loads. My parents will still drop everything and help when one of their kids goes through something serious. They don’t do regular childcare but have offered and are very hands on and present. They have given us all money to help with housing. They are amazing and I try to help them in return in similar ways.

10k when we were buying our first house
10k from a grandparent too
15K towards our wedding
80k towards a house purchase later on
5k towards Cost of living
Babysitting in school hols/long weekends when we go away
Incredibly grateful and realise how privileged we are

Quite a lot, never in big lumpsoms, but my parents would pay my rent every now and then at uni when caught short, would send me money for a treat here and there. When I finished uni and was looking for work they'd pay for my social events for me, helped with lifts/transport fees to job interviews etc. Once I had stable work I was mostly self sufficient, though had a one year period where I relocated and got caught short a bit with bills and they topped up my account. I haven't had anything off them for 5 years now and I'm financially secure.

My partners mum gave us a £20,000 loan to go towards a house deposit and decorating about 4 years ago. We have paid that back now, but would have never been able to have as nice of a home without that help.

I feel very lucky with the amount of help we have had, its enough that it provided a safety net that meant I was able to pursue ambitions, I feel like I had enough support to enable me to build a good and stable life but not enough to strip me of any motivation and make me complacent.

I have a good flexible, self employed career and a nice home, which while I worked hard at, it was definitely enabled by a financial safety net which I'm very grateful for.

None. Like someone else said I didn't even get love and parenting. I've mostly made peace with it. Sometimes when dhs mum is being lovely or even just sends a birthday card it makes me sad thinking about what I never had but it is what it is.

Lived at home rent free for a few months as an adult
Financial support through uni
a couple of chunks of £5000 which I paid back
£2000 gift for our wedding
Generous Xmas presents - couple of hundred quids’ worth every year
We’ve just had a baby and they gave us £500 towards a pram

They live too far away to help with childcare but otherwise I know my mum would be all over it!

there were some things that weren’t great when we were growing up (explosive rages, name calling, bullying, a tense household, a lack of positive guidance and active parenting) but they are very generous with money and practical help where they can. It’s only now I’m in my thirties that I realise how hard they were trying.

None at all. We live in a different country to both set of parents so no help with babysitting at all neither.

Lots, we’re very lucky. I’ve always been well emotionally supported, and never paid rent when I lived at home (moved out properly at 25). I didn’t need help with uni as trained on an NHS course back when they were fully funded, but when I decided
to move out in my second year to live with friends I paid my own rent / bills by taking on a care job. When they’ve had money, they’ve been generous and when they haven’t I’ve been happy to look after myself. As an adult, my in laws paid for our wedding and helped financially support us when my husband was made redundant for 6 months. My mum gave us the deposit for our first home and looks after my toddler at least once a week. Currently expecting baby 2 and incredibly grateful they live nearby as I know how invaluable they will be once he arrives.

I’m aware how lucky I am to both have them nearby and have a good relationship with my parents, and all
the financial support I’ve had over the years. I hope my relationship with my own children is as good when they’re adults.

I've been fortunate enough to be helped financially by my parents.

They gave me £6,000 towards my flat deposit when I was 22, enabling me to get on the property ladder.

More recently, they gave me some money when my boiler blew up and needed replacing.

My Dad has always jokingly reminded me that they will be expecting me to look after them in their old age as payback. I've told them I won't be blowing my inheritance on care home fees so will probably just push them both off Beachy Head!

Same here. On the contrary we were expected to provide the help to our parents and younger siblings.

Inherited from my GP and was able to put a small deposit on my first home with that & my parents helped furnish with a couple grand. I'm very appreciative of this but I wish I had support in the other ways (not money related). Sometimes well of parents throw money at situations & that's the extent of their parenting. I don't think it makes one set of parents good & another not so good

Nothing really. Had to pay half my wage in board as soon as I got a job, couldn't afford to go to uni and parents not willing to help.
No help to get on the property ladder, no help with babysitting etc despite both parents living relatively close.
I got £300 from my dad when I got married and £60 to buy a pram off eBay when I had my first child but nothing for my second child 7mths ago. Never had much from either parent for birthdays or Christmas.

Never really thought about this before but reading this thread has made me realise how much I have been helped (despite me thinking how independent I am) and how important this has been in my life.

First car, help finding first job, low rent when living at home, being able to move back home when first relationship went tits, money towards wedding, help with babysitting, pet sitting, diy, car problems. Will inherit (unless money needed for care). Same with DH family; lots of childcare, meals out, inheritance etc. Always receive lovely Xmas and birthday presents etc.
Very fortunate and grateful

Nothing apart from birthday, Christmas and anniversaries. I have never asked or expected it.

@Aggypanthus @blix And others sorry can't tag everyone I am so sorry to hear all that.
So amazing that you're able to change it around for the next generation.
Inherited stuff, be it money, emotional support, guidance, encouragement...can't put a price on its importance.

I've had more than my share really despite having had an emotionally rocky, skint childhood.
I've recently realised I'm actually quite a spoiled brat!

We had some help towards a house deposit from PIL (about 10k) and we were given PIL's last car when they traded in.

Other than that, we have done everything on our own. My DPs were dirt poor so had nothing to give when they were alive and nothing leave when they died.

Both sets grandparents live/lived too far for help with childcare - we've done that all in our own.

Financially we’ve had a lot of help. My parents paid for my university and our wedding, subsidised me through further education and both my parents and DH’s contributed significantly for the deposit for our home. We don’t get big gifts of money for spends, it’s always for a specific thing but we are very aware that we have been very lucky and are a big spoilt as a result. Starting to pay it back now our parents are moving into retirement and we treat them more than they treat us but it doesn’t scratch the surface of how much we’ve been given.

Practically not so much help. Parents are too far to do much with DC week to week but do do the occasional day (like once every few months) for which we are very grateful.

My parents are in different country (UK isn't my homeland).

Paid for most of our wedding.
Cash gifts for Christmas, birthdays, wedding anniversaries, without any occasion (recently gave us 1000 euros for no reason).

No kids yet, so hard to tell if they'll help with childcare or would want to buy something for the baby. I bet they would, they are like this.

FIL helps as much as he can, but he's on single income in expensive city, so it's different than my parents who have quite comfortable life. He's very nice chap though, always welcomes us with open arms when we come visit.

Forgot to add, my parents supported me financially when I was at uni.

Inherited nothing.
Not sure I got anything for my 18 maybe £20.
21st I got £50 cash, I made sure I got cash as my DB got a chq and it bounced. Was asked if I could lend it back a few hours later but I’d already made sure I’d spent it.
Got a £200 for 1st marriage, it actually cleared.
Got a dinner set and I think £200 cash for 2nd marriage.
Got some baby clothes, toys for 1st 2 DCs births.
Got a plastic spaghetti container for 3rd baby birth gift.
Got an odd birthday and Christmas gift since I was 16.

Had babysitting done a couple of times with first 2, none since third was born. No help with everyday childcare.

Given plenty of expensive gifts and cash over the years though.

Nothing- this thread is actually quite upsetting as it just goes to show what difference getting a leg up in life makes.

Life is very unfair. At least I can say I'm entirely self made.

I’ve had a lot less than that. Moved out at 18, never had any hand out or childcare etc. I would like to do more for my DS so I’ve saved every last child benefit payment I’ve had for him since his birth in a junior ISA account. I’ve worked out that once he’s 18 he’ll have around 20k. It won’t be a lot in 17 years time but will be something.

Out of interest, what generation is that? My great grandma had a lot from her parents and in-laws and she’d be around 120 if she was still alive.

I suspect my parents do have money somewhere, given what I know my dad was earning before he retired, but I am the first person in our family to have gone to university and they were the first generation of our family to have owned a house. My dad in particular grew up devastatingly poor and is terrified of spending anything, although I love him very much and he is very generous with his love and attention. They have always got me birthday and Christmas presents; I had student loans for university. When my partner and I bought our house, after years of renting, my parents very kindly paid for us to have built-in wardrobes installed, which was about £3k. I will get half of the value their house when they die.