3 people I’ve known this week have died from cancer that was diagnosed too late to treat, all died in weeks. And I’m really sad about it all.

[Afterfire]

Just that really. All relatively young (40s).

My mum and Gran both died of bowel cancer that wasn’t picked up on until it had spread to the point of being a death sentence- both died 6 weeks after diagnosis. Both had blood tests, colonoscopies, endoscopies, all sorts. All clear - only a CT scan showed it up in the end.

I thought that was unusual.

But then this week I’ve found out 3 people I have known - a distant friend, a teacher of my sons, and the relative of someone I’m close with; have all died in similar circumstances. One of them even had an unnecessary hysterectomy as they thought their problems were menopausal and only after that were they diagnosed with bowel cancer that had spread too far and they died weeks later.

We are persistently told that early detection prolongs life but all these people pushed and pushed for investigations which they were either denied or that came back clear.

Its left me feeling absolutely terrified of developing cancer and no one realising until it’s too late. I have multiple health conditions as it is and of course with my family history of bowel cancer I am extra vigilant but experience has taught me even if I get the all clear it doesn’t mean everything is okay.

Please be kind. I’m feeling really low and fragile. Everything just seems so pointless when people suddenly die like this. Too young. Just horrendous.

I'm a bit stunned at the moment as my friend since uni just died of pancreatic cancer. She was 44 with two young daughters - super fit (ran marathons, cycled hundreds of miles in races), no prior health issues.

She had symptoms for months, but her GP told her it was Long Covid (she had it in Feb). She was only diagnosed a few weeks ago, and was basically sent home to die as there was nothing that could be done by then. Tbf, there was little that could be done even if she'd received an earlier diagnosis in her case, but if it had been a different cancer the outcome could have been very different.

No doubt we will see more of these stories due to the pressure the NHS is under and the ease of writing everything off as Long Covid (don't misunderstand me, it absolutely exists and has wrecked my Mother's and my ex's health). I also worry that these stories are being used by the press to encourage the privatisation of the NHS.

That's sad. Both of my grandparents died with cancer. Both had cancer a few years previously which was then treated and they had cancer again. (one had cancer elsewhere and it returned in the same place for the other. One my parents thought either also had brain cancer or dementia but they weren't tested)

I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. 💐

It does seem to be a lot more common than I thought.

And often amongst people who seem to be physically fit, keeping themselves well etc. It makes me feel like taking to my bed with a truck ton of chocolate and cake and just doing whatever I like because no amount of doing the “right” things seem to make any difference - maybe genes / luck are far more to blame than we like to think.

I really don’t know anymore. 😞

Thank you for your kind words. I’m sorry to hear about your grandparents.

Exactly the same happened to my mum although she didn't show any symptoms.

She was 65, pretty fit and healthy. Developed a chest infection which wouldn't shift. They found cancer. She was gone within 5 weeks. Stage 4 and no treatment.

It's scary. Scary that it can go undetected.

I completely understand op.

My close family member is currently on their deathbed, having pushed and pushed for investigations and asked for hospital appointments, only to be told "no appointments available" or put on an 11 month waiting list for a consultant appointment that kept being postponed.

Now they're dying age 61 because they weren't listened to and the help they needed wasn't made available to them.

If this had been picked up when they first started asking they may have survived. Now they have days/weeks to live and are bedbound and in pain.

I'm absolutely devastated by the position the nhs is in.

My mother has just been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Her GP - who refused to see her in person - has told her for the best part of a year that the pain in her chest was from a pulled muscle. All that’s available to her now is palliative care, and she’s been in hospital for the past seven weeks.

Same with my mother, 5 years of big lumps on her neck that the GP continually ignored and feeling ill. She didn't tell me what was going on, I noticed on one of my rare visits and thought what the hell is on your neck. I don't live near them, hundreds of miles away.
Hand delivered a letter to the GP demanding action - it was then finally actioned and she had lymphatic cancer.
How can any GP ignore huge lumps on somebody's neck!!!!!! This was before covid so no excuse of didn't see them.

And the fact that GPS are still not seeing people in person is a fucking disgrace.

My dad and mum were also diagnosed too late. My dad was diagnosed with cancer of the throat and survived less than 3 months. My mum was discharged from hospital with suspected lung cancer and died within the month- she was at post-mortem confirmed to have liver cancer that had spread to the lungs

my father in law died from stomach cancer which was only diagnosed postmortem too, he went from being okay to 4 days later crashing on the way down to a CT scan and resuscitation attempts were unsuccessful

I have worked to accept death and to not fear it. It's not healthy living in fear, and life is wasted being fearful. Having hope in medicine makes me uneasy. I don't think we're owed a long life by doctors.

my Dad died of bowel cancer after a gap kept fobbing him off and telling him it wasn’t serious. Too late by time of diagnosis. Friend died at 40 of bowel cancer diagnosed at stage 4.

Some cancers just are diagnosed late as symptoms don’t really show till late. There is currently a research project to improve early detection. A lot of research so far has been into improving treatments. But we really need to improve early detection to improve outcomes and survival.

if there is bowel cancer in your family are you not being offered screening?

I agree with other that this is a result of Covid lockdowns and sadly an underestimation or dismissal of other harms that arise when you effectively 'shut up shop'. My dad's health concerns were basically ignored for about a year with GPs saying to him constantly 'we can't see you because of Covid'. I think so many people got covid out of all proportion and the obsession with long-Covid has masked other conditions

I’m so sorry so many of you have similar stories. It’s just heartbreaking isn’t it.

I wonder if part of the issue is that we’re all made to feel we shouldn’t bother the nhs, even when there’s a genuine reason, or worry. That we shouldn’t push or put pressure on an already stressed system. That we should be “grateful” to the nhs. I don’t know. I’m just pondering. And I’m not knocking the nhs as a whole - it’s saved my life several times. And yet also let me down many times. I just feel so many of these cases show either the tests don’t work as well as they should or people aren’t being investigated properly.

Some cancers are still just so hard to treat, like Lung cancer and Pancreatic cancer. The prognosis has not improved significantly in years. Through my job I spoke to clients during lockdown who could not have surgery for Pancreatic cancer as there were no ITU beds. Many more were diagnosed in late stages as they couldn't see their GP. I wonder if the covid enquiry will consider all these excess deaths, people who may have stood a better chance if things had been different?

No because both my Mum and Gran were diagnosed 70 plus when bowel cancer is often diagnosed anyway so they can’t even confirm a family link! Which seems crazy to me, given they both had identical experiences too. But there you go. I have pushed for FIT tests, and other tests myself. I am 41.

I am sort of on my way to feeling like this. I know that worrying about something I have no control over is pointless. I guess I just feel worried for my children if I pop off too early. Especially my son who has complex autism. But what can you do? What will be will be as all these stories show.

My mum, in a lot of pain waiting for hip replacement (18 months to see the consultant in NI where waiting lists are horrendous and politicians not bothered! )

Discovered she had Ovarian cancer - she blamed the symptoms on the hip pain & raft of painkillers she was taking and was 6 weeks from diagnosis to funeral.

appointment to see consultant arrived on day of her funeral.

It is scary, but this was predicted by the healthcare professions unfortunately. The NHS was in no fit state to cope with a pandemic, things were already getting desperate beforehand. Now the backlogs and the lack of staff are undoubtedly causing later diagnosis of all sorts of diseases sadly.
And it’s almost certain there are going to be cuts in public services to balance the books of that horrendous mini budget. They won’t call it cuts, but that’s what it will be.

I completely agree covid has a lot to answer for. I am / was in the clinically extremely vulnerable group but I have always felt that any of my conditions could potentially kill me, to be denied access to healthcare because of covid always seemed counter productive.

It's not 'living in fear of death' to hope to receive medical treatment that exists and has done for some time- if it's actually possible to see a GP and be taken seriously and have symptoms investigated promptly, lots of the stories told on this thread may well have different outcomes.

It's nothing to do with drs owing us anything. More to do with the fact that the NHS is a fucking shambles thanks to the government. I can't imagine the King having to wait 11 months to see a GP, can you? Very different outcomes for the wealthy.

I just want to hug you. Do you live in the UK? My mother has had and survived like, 3 or 4 cancers. Her trick is this, pay for the check privately, then get the treatment on the NHS.

The NHS refused to check her actually. It's good to know what cancer is running in your family because you know where to look, actually.

But honestly, life is just too unpredictable. 🙂

This is making me very anxious and I know I could hide the thread but what could we practically do about this? Bi annual private health check ups?

A friend's parent is going through this at the moment. They know the cancer is there, but they don't know where and they don't seem to be in a hurry to find out, first they were fobbed off by the GP who didn't think it was necessary to do a blood test, then now, they are going to do a biopsy, at some point, there just doesn't seem to be any urgency.

DH's uncle, who he was very close to, was fobbed off by his GP and various doctors for most of 2020 until he was eventually diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer. He passed a few months later.

He has a colleague who has been massively let down. Months of increasingly worrying symptoms to be told it's IBS and take laxatives. They took a turn and after a proper investigation found cancer everywhere - bowel, liver, lungs, etc. They are now receiving end of life care. It's absolutely heartbreaking.