3 people I’ve known this week have died from cancer that was diagnosed too late to treat, all died in weeks. And I’m really sad about it all.

[Afterfire]

Just that really. All relatively young (40s).

My mum and Gran both died of bowel cancer that wasn’t picked up on until it had spread to the point of being a death sentence- both died 6 weeks after diagnosis. Both had blood tests, colonoscopies, endoscopies, all sorts. All clear - only a CT scan showed it up in the end.

I thought that was unusual.

But then this week I’ve found out 3 people I have known - a distant friend, a teacher of my sons, and the relative of someone I’m close with; have all died in similar circumstances. One of them even had an unnecessary hysterectomy as they thought their problems were menopausal and only after that were they diagnosed with bowel cancer that had spread too far and they died weeks later.

We are persistently told that early detection prolongs life but all these people pushed and pushed for investigations which they were either denied or that came back clear.

Its left me feeling absolutely terrified of developing cancer and no one realising until it’s too late. I have multiple health conditions as it is and of course with my family history of bowel cancer I am extra vigilant but experience has taught me even if I get the all clear it doesn’t mean everything is okay.

Please be kind. I’m feeling really low and fragile. Everything just seems so pointless when people suddenly die like this. Too young. Just horrendous.

My bowel cancer was missed when I was 31. Brown was pissing money at the NHS at the time. My GP refused every referral except the one to the mental health team for “health anxiety”. I was waiting for that when the tumour (size of a grapefruit by now) perforated my colon and I got sepsis.

Its not (just) the pandemic fucking up cancer care, it’s socialized healthcare and specifically rationing by clueless GP’s who would rather bury you as a mistake than admit they fucked up.

but we are owed a fair crack at living to a reasonable age and not dying in middle age due to late diagnosis, something the NHS is guilty of. Cancer care after diagnosis is really good in the NHS but detecting cancer is not something the NHS is great at and the statistics evidence that clearly.

It is absolutely horrible, and we all need to do as much as we can as individuals to protect ourselves because like it or not, while the politicians argue, the NHS is stretched.

And there are good experiences too and you have to include those in the mix.

I'm late 50s, single mum. My NHS routine screen picked up a lump in September '21. I was recalled to the breast clinic in 2 days, seen by a surgeon within 2 weeks and had my lump removed in early October. Saw the consultant radiologist & consultant oncologist in Nov, and offered chemo which ran Dec-Feb. radiotherapy in March. Brilliant support, treatment, patience and kindness.
I'm doing my 1 year checks now and all looking clear. I am lucky.

The message 'Don't drink, or smoke, or eat processed food. Eat as much wholemeal, fruit & veg as possible.' is everywhere. Mine was hormonal but I'm so careful with diet now, if only because at least I know I'm doing everything I can.

I'm sorry for your loss.

To be honest @antelopevalley - I think it's too late...

Like I said upthread, MRI waiting list is 6 months for NHS patients. Private is next day for the same machine with the same staff

🤷‍♀️ if you want decent care in a timely manner then private is the only tangible option if you want to stay alive!

Heartbreaking. It's a mess.

@Selfsabotagesocks Maybe where you live, not where I live. Waiting lists for a lot of things are as long on NHS as they are privately. I see that a lot on MN as well. People waiting for tests and advised to go private. They look into it and the waiting list is exactly the same length.
Outside London there is usually one private hospital commutable, that is it. And the hospital relies on NHS staff moonlighting.

So my DP had an MRI for suspected cancer - he hasn't got it. Waiting list same privately or NHS. And it was much less than 6 months.

Yep this.

I believe the quality of doctors have decreased.

Far too many in it for the money or their parents insisted so they cheat their way through.

I had an MRI on the NHS at three days notice (April22) , so I don't think there is a blanket six month waiting list. That was requested by the hospital oncology team, so maybe it depends on who makes the request.

I think GPs often wait to see issues go away on their own, or they don't believe their patients, with occasionally disastrous results.

@antelopevalley Thank you for explaining this. Good to have different insight. You're right, it must be a regional problem 😔

And what do you think the consequence of refusing to allow GPs to work "part time" would be?

Honestly, keeping yourself fit and healthy does make a big difference - not just for cancer, but for many other health issues in the future.

You remember the fit and healthy people who die suddenly because it's more shocking, but there are many, many more people who get cancer because they're overweight, or because they smoke, or because their diet was rubbish.

Yes, there are some illnesses that you can't do much about. But there are plenty others that you can avoid - so do what you can, and try not to worry about the things you can't control.

Of course be mindful of symptoms, but don't let it run your life. We live once, and we can either live well, or live in fear. I know which I'd prefer.

NHS healthcare varies enormously by area because number of staff and hospitals do not always reflect local need.
The one thing that is essential is a good GP surgery. Mine is brilliant and saw people face-to-face throughout if required. Now they assume appointments are face-to-face unless you ask for a telephone appointment. My advice would be to spend time finding the best local GP you can. You may never need to go at the moment, but the effort is worth it when you need them.
My DP went to hospital for another issue for example, appointment fairly quick, and when we got there and he gave his name the consultant said - oh valley, your GP has been on the phone to me all the time to get me to give you an appointment quickly. GPs are the gatekeepers in the system. They can't work miracles, but if you do not have a good one you are at a major disadvantage.

Exactly the same happened to DH. Drs kept saying pulled muscle. He died within 15 days of diagnosis from cancer of oesophagus.

No, new doctors need teaching placements in hospitals, which is why there are limited training places every year. That is the restricting factor.

Many GPs are women who have children and choose to go 'part time' but that part time is still 40 hours over three days.

Recruitment for overseas doctors is ramping up at the moment. (I'm working on the project). So it's a combination of things. No-one thinks we have enough doctors at the moment. The NHS has huge numbers of vacancies.

I think some of my anxiety comes from not trusting my GP surgery - I’ve had a terrible experience where several of them (because you never see the same one) misdiagnosed a life threatening condition (Addisons) for nearly 2 years, just fobbing me off as having anxiety and prescribing diazepam 😳. In the end I practically begged them, in tears, to refer me back to endocrinology as that was the only previous consultant I’d seen (for a pituitary issue) so I was clutching at straws. Turns out that was the right thing to do because they acted quickly and I was diagnosed with Addison’s and began treatment that saved my life.

So many things are put down to anxiety.

One of the most awful appointments I had I was in the doctors for literally 2 minutes (I checked my phone) in tears, saying I had severe chest pain and felt awful and the doctor literally bent my elbow forward and back and then told me I had a pulled muscle and to take Cocodamol. (This was a week before I was diagnosed with Addison’s).

And yes I have made formal complaints to the practice manager.

I really don’t know how we tackle these things. I think there’s so little time for people to be seen properly, maybe that’s a factor too.

And often amongst people who seem to be physically fit, keeping themselves well etc. It makes me feel like taking to my bed with a truck ton of chocolate and cake and just doing whatever I like because no amount of doing the “right” things seem to make any difference - maybe genes / luck are far more to blame than we like to think

You can improve your chances of not getting cancer by exercising and eating well. It does not reduce that chance to zero.
Because this message is drummed into us all the time, I think it's all the more shocking when someone who seems to do "everything right" gets a diagnosis like this. That's probably why it stands out more.

If an elderly man, who has smoked 40 a day all his life and is also overweight due to poor diet and lack of exercise, gets lung cancer, nobody would be particularly surprised. And I could say to myself, for example, oh that wouldn't happen to me because I don't smoke. (I'm not saying his death wouldn't be upsetting and very sad before someone jumps on me and starts yelling at me for being callous.)

In comparison, if you know someone your own age who has always been very fit - exercises every day, only eats good quality healthy food, remained slim etc - and they get a diagnosis of a late stage cancer which was missed, either by health professionals or symptoms only appeared late, and then sadly die, we are more likely to say to ourselves "Oh, that could happen to any of us. I don't exercise as much as her and I eat well but maybe not as healthily as her so I must be at a much greater risk of getting cancer than her.", It's frightening. But it doesn't work like that - there are a lot of genetic components to it. And also people can sometimes have been exposed to carcinogens at some point in their lives - unknown to them - no amount of exercise and healthy eating could offset it.

They had to as they raised them by I think 9,000 last year, but then had to reduce that by 3,000 this year because of a lack of training places in hospitals for F1's.

Just think where we would be if the BMA hadn't voted to restrict numbers and training hospitals back in 2008 - all those extra doctors would be in the system now.

These are terrible, heartbreaking stories.

As for the state of the NHS, I live in a small county town with three GP surgeries. Well, there used to be. They've all closed in the past 18 months or so. The surgery I have to go to now is a 15 minute drive away and, guess what? That's closing too!

My DF lives in another county and is being treated for cancer, however I can't fault them. He was given six years, seven years ago and is still going and very well looked after.

I see so many stories on SM of people who have begged for help & been told it's something trivial - before they die.
Yes, I guess it's more likely that things ARE trivial - but not always. :-(

As for exercising and eating well, I was a vegetarian runner (like Deborah James) when I was diagnosed with bowel cancer at 31. Ime it just makes the GP more likely to fob you off - they don’t need much encouragement.

Turns out I have a genetic predisposition to about 5 different types of cancer (Lynch syndrome fwiw) that requires annual testing and follow-up. I even had to fight to get referred for genetic tests - AFTER the GP had fucked up. They are impervious to criticism, have zero insight and seem to learn nothing from their constant fuck-ups.

God I feel so lucky with my GP surgery.
It is Consultants I have found hit and miss. Had some brilliant ones and some not-so-good.
It is dentistry I can't get access to.

My Dad was struck by Covid in June, we had a nightmare trying to get him medical attention and we explained time and time again that his symptoms weren't explained by Covid at all. All we got was fobbed off by everyone, and then the words "long covid" started being bandied around. It was only when he collapsed and needed an ambulance that bloods got taken, he was admitted to hospital, and he was diagnosed with end stage liver cancer.