3 people I’ve known this week have died from cancer that was diagnosed too late to treat, all died in weeks. And I’m really sad about it all.

[Afterfire]

Just that really. All relatively young (40s).

My mum and Gran both died of bowel cancer that wasn’t picked up on until it had spread to the point of being a death sentence- both died 6 weeks after diagnosis. Both had blood tests, colonoscopies, endoscopies, all sorts. All clear - only a CT scan showed it up in the end.

I thought that was unusual.

But then this week I’ve found out 3 people I have known - a distant friend, a teacher of my sons, and the relative of someone I’m close with; have all died in similar circumstances. One of them even had an unnecessary hysterectomy as they thought their problems were menopausal and only after that were they diagnosed with bowel cancer that had spread too far and they died weeks later.

We are persistently told that early detection prolongs life but all these people pushed and pushed for investigations which they were either denied or that came back clear.

Its left me feeling absolutely terrified of developing cancer and no one realising until it’s too late. I have multiple health conditions as it is and of course with my family history of bowel cancer I am extra vigilant but experience has taught me even if I get the all clear it doesn’t mean everything is okay.

Please be kind. I’m feeling really low and fragile. Everything just seems so pointless when people suddenly die like this. Too young. Just horrendous.

While I don't disagree with you (I fear pain and leaving my kids under the sole care of my STBX more then death itself), I do not think it's healthy to have low expectations of medicine.

There's nothing wrong with having hope. There's nothing wrong with believing doctors/medicine can cure things because they/it most definitely can. Re cancer there are phenomenal new developments that can help people live (not just survive) longer. Still in trials but I know of a case where he should have been dead years ago, is in a test group (because death was the only other outcome) and it's working for him. That's in the US at a cancer hospital.

What's happening in most of the above cases isn't a failure of medicine though, because the deceased actually didn't get a chance to get any in time. They died because of lack of access to medical treatment.

And that is utterly horrific in this day and age. The NHS could have helped many of the cases above, but the people didn't get access to it.

I'm so sorry to OP and all the other posters. Losing someone so quickly is absolutely awful, but knowing it may have been avoidable is a whole other layer of pain. Inhumane actually. I'm so sorry.

I’ve got to this point.

However, while I’m not frightened of death, I admit I remain afraid of the dying.

We suspect the same thing happened to my mum, but she didn’t ever get a diagnosis after being passed from pillar to post without any diagnostics actually being done. She declined rapidly over 3 months and was even in her GP surgery the day she died, but they sent her home despite the fact she literally looked like she was dying. I know multiple other people with stage 4 cancer now too, and the whole thing is heartbreaking because it could have been avoided. Routine appts should never have been stopped, and from the very first lockdown this was a fear I had which has sadly come very true. There have been excess deaths this past year that all MSM seems to be reporting as a head scratcher.

I am so sorry you’re dealing with OP, and too many others know what you’re going through. Lots of love to you right now.

This sadly is no surprise to me. I don't even know what the answer is. I'm glad that because Dh works for a big company they atleast do a basic annual health check where his blood pressure etc and prostate cancer check is done for all staff.

Happened to my husband last year

diagnosed too late with colon cancer after being fobbed off and denied up to date ct scans. Was told he was a time waster by a and e and he just had gallstones.

died 6 weeks later as the cancer had gone into his liver and other organs.

fit as a fiddle, didn’t smoke or drink.

This has happened to a friend. He kept pushing his doctor, who told him it was just constipation and try this remedy and that medication. He told his Dr both of his parents died of cancer, he was in increasing pain and wanted to be referred but was fobbed off and dismissed. It got to the point that he went to A&E and begged them to help him. He's now been given a year (optimistically) to live.

I get that some cancers are hard to detect early but when you know something is wrong and are consistently dismissed when seeking help there is a problem.

I’m sorry, 💐.

The NHS do all the cheap tests first- the vets (private) seem to do the opposite and do all the expensive tests first.

I have no idea if it’s true, but a nurse colleague told me that’s when scanning eg the stomach if they find something, say an ulcer that they’ll stop looking due to costs and treat you for whatever they can blame your symptoms on. My father was diagnosed with a stomach ulcer, he was sick for years, a very strong man- (according to the Consultant). Eventually when he weighed 7 stone they took it seriously. He died of pancreatic cancer two weeks after diagnosis. It had spread everywhere, including his brain.

Oh my gosh. I’m just so, so sorry to read so many similar stories and my heart just goes out to everyone who is experiencing grief in similar circumstances. 💐❤️ Lots of these deaths just shouldn’t have happened or at the very least should have been better - earlier diagnosis, better treatment, better care. I’m just so sorry to you all, and I really appreciate your kindness. I worried posting this that people would feel I’m making it about me and that wasn’t my intention, I am so sad for the families of the people I know who’ve died. It’s like a book closing too early, a story that wasn’t ready to end.

I want to thank you all for making me feel less alone. I’m sad I’m not alone but at least I feel like others do understand how bewildering this feels.

Yes, I agree. I am very wary of seeking help or diagnosis. I have had some horrendous experiences including losing my mother partly through very serious negligence on the part of an NHS hospital.

But this thread isn't about us is it?
It's all very well to think your wise words of wisdom might give someone a calm or healthy outlook, but in reality people are dying through lack of resources, and the absolute arrogance of GPs and some Hospital doctors. My mother was one such person.

The NHS is on its knees, and we are now falling off a cliff in terms of how a civilised society should be organised to protect, care, extend life expectancy, and improve the overall welfare of everyone.

So, whilst my very personal response now is to accept death for myself, probably quite untimely because I am too cynical, and too proud to 'beg for help' or 'nag' (pleading with the consultants, nurses and GP didn't save my mother from their arrogance and negligence), we should be fighting to save the NHS and demanding improvements.

It's all just so sad, but cynicism won't improve the welfare, health and happiness of society. We deserve more than to live to enrich others, to work until we drop.

This was happening before covid. My friend died of pancreatic cancer because doctor said it was IBS. Lots of people have similar stories.

How are GPS not seeing patients in person, though? Ours were seeing patients in person even during the first lockdown. That's truly shocking and they should be reported.

I feel like the luckiest person in the world reading this.

I was suffering with several vague symptoms, phoned for an appointment and suggested ovarian cancer to the receptionist. Dr booked an ultrasound without even seeing me, where they found a massive cyst, which will be removed in the next few weeks. It may be cancer, but at least it will be treated.

I keep thinking I'm so lucky, but actually it is because I diagnosed myself. If I'd gone along with their stupid only one problem at a time rule, we'd probably still be talking about IBS and/or constipation.

My Mum felt unwell from February too. Went to GP and told probably indigestion and given antacids. By May feeling very unwell given endoscopy told all clear. By end of July started vomitting faeces. My sister went to GP with my Mum and pushed for MRI scan in early August. Scan revealed pancreatic cancer and pancreas enlarged which was causing blockage so food not digested and passed out of anus. By this time consultant said cancer had gone too far, nothing could be done, only pain relief. She was diagnosed with between 3-6 months to live but felt too Ill to do anything or go anywhere in her last month's. In the end she had six weeks where she lost so much weight and could not eat at all just sip water. She passed away in early October. This was before Covid. We know pancreatic cancer hard to diagnose, but will always wonder if an early MRI scan could have saved her. I think during Covid people could not get seen by GP's to send them for scans or treatments, now those patients are paying the price. Very, very sad.

I should have said, I'm so sad for OP and others who have lost people far too early. It really isn't good enough.

I had some of the symptoms of ovarian cancer also @Choccyp1g but it turned out to be a large endometrial cyst removed with laparoscopy and endometriosis symptoms managed with the pill. My GP was excellent (sadly for us, though not for him, he has retired now), and treated it like cancer even though that was not in my mind at all when I came for the appointment - I thought ulcer - and I got very quick blood tests, scans, and surgery within weeks. All the care was so lovely it made me quite emotional. This was in 2015 though, I can't help thinking that it may be a different story today.

Good luck with it all, I hope it's easily operable and managable and that you get good care.

A lovely friend of mine died last year of a leukaemia which might have been more treatable had it been spotted sooner.

The blood cancer charities have regular pushes (every September) to increase awareness of the symptoms, which often go unrecognised as they're a bunch of non-specific ones.

Message is that if a doctor is investigating non-specific symptoms ask if they are doing a full blood count. It's a cheap routine test and it gives the relevant info to check for blood cancers and which is useful for a whole host of other things

Just to offer the opposite perspective...I was diagnosed with breast cancer last May. I was a breastfeeding 34 year old with a 4 month old who had found a lump after recently having mastitis. It was so unlikely to be breast cancer given those factors. But my GP referred me because I was worried. I was diagnosed and started chemo within the month.

(Everything crossed) I should be OK. My care at every stage has been nothing short of amazing. The NHS isn't perfect but in some areas it's outstanding. It saved my life diagnosing me early

I think during Covid people could not get seen by GP's to send them for scans or treatments, now those patients are paying the price. Very, very sad

Indeed, or people put off bothering the GP in a pandemic. So sorry to hear about your mum @caringcarer and sorry for anyone who lost someone before their time.

DD2 had to have a hospital appointment in December 2020 and it was empty- like a ghost town in the entire hospital. Appalling, I thought.

I live on a street with vulnerable people in social housing and in spite of neighbours looking out for them three died in 2020-21 (unheard of usually to lose so many in such a short time).

Good luck @Katiekate19 There are still excellent people working in the NHS though systemically it's failing.

I’m late 40s and 2 uni friends have died recently. Maybe they’d have died anyway - but I’m sure GPS being closed didn’t help any.

Thank you for posting. It’s good to hear positive stories. I’m so sorry about your diagnosis but it’s great to hear you’re being treated so well and I wish you all the best with your recovery 💐

This thread is absolutely heartbreaking.
Hugs to OP and everyone else who needs it.

Sorry for your losses op and to all the other posters on this thread.

Honestly this sort of thing terrifies me. I have very little family (dh, my mum and my 2 young kids). And I often wonder what would happen to the dc if anything like this happened to me or dh. There is nobody who could look after them. We have friends of course but our family is so small. I just pray we stay healthy.

It's terrifying that such devastating diseases can go under the radar for so long.

This was years before Covid, but my aunt died of cancer after a GP had repeatedly dismissed her symptoms as being "age related".

What worries me after having had an ovarian dermoid cyst/mature teratoma, is that I had no symptoms at all until it was 5cm. Freaked me out, and caused mild health anxiety (I have anxiety anyway, but it did give me something else to be anxious about).

So sorry for your loss op. A very close friend of mine died in May this year. Had been unwell since Easter but couldn't get in to see the useless GP.

Her son finally took her to A&E and she was admitted and died 2 days later. It was cancer and it was everywhere.

So glad you had a fabulous GP. I hope all goes well for you.
I thank my lucky stars every day that i have a outstanding surgery on my doorstep. No matter how wonderful your local hospital is it is useless without hard working diligent G.Ps referring patients. We need more G.ps that are willing to work full time and not just half days and term time only.