3 people I’ve known this week have died from cancer that was diagnosed too late to treat, all died in weeks. And I’m really sad about it all.

[Afterfire]

Just that really. All relatively young (40s).

My mum and Gran both died of bowel cancer that wasn’t picked up on until it had spread to the point of being a death sentence- both died 6 weeks after diagnosis. Both had blood tests, colonoscopies, endoscopies, all sorts. All clear - only a CT scan showed it up in the end.

I thought that was unusual.

But then this week I’ve found out 3 people I have known - a distant friend, a teacher of my sons, and the relative of someone I’m close with; have all died in similar circumstances. One of them even had an unnecessary hysterectomy as they thought their problems were menopausal and only after that were they diagnosed with bowel cancer that had spread too far and they died weeks later.

We are persistently told that early detection prolongs life but all these people pushed and pushed for investigations which they were either denied or that came back clear.

Its left me feeling absolutely terrified of developing cancer and no one realising until it’s too late. I have multiple health conditions as it is and of course with my family history of bowel cancer I am extra vigilant but experience has taught me even if I get the all clear it doesn’t mean everything is okay.

Please be kind. I’m feeling really low and fragile. Everything just seems so pointless when people suddenly die like this. Too young. Just horrendous.

I'm so sorry OP, you must be heartbroken.

But thank you for posting. You've prompted me to go and do the bowel screen test that was sent to me (gets sent out to people over 50 automatically in Australia). It's been sitting in the envelope so I'll do that this weekend.

However, I am a believer in the nhs

So am I but it needs be reformed, improved, funded differently and the British voting public won't countenance this so we get the Tories privatising it by stealth instead.

Many people in 21st century Britain struggle with the fact that life is uncertain, that people of all ages die and many diseases are hard to diagnose

I think is true to a certain extent.
We have become accustomed to the fact that there are treatments for most things. Many of these are very effective and can cure the condition or put it into remission. Many cancers are highly treatable if found early.

However, there are some cancers with a terrible prognosis, even if detected relatively early and treatment is attempted - pancreatic cancer being one of them. I've just lost a relative to this - dead within 4 months of diagnosis. He had no symptoms until about a month before the diagnosis.

Ovarian cancer also has a poor prognosis because it is often found far too late and that is because the symptoms are the sort of things which could be anything - bloating, back pain, feeling full when eating.

Thank you so much for posting this. It has really made me smile, to know it’s had this effect on someone. I hope everything is fine 💐

I know many of you have had bad experiences with the nhs but please show some compassion to the majority of staff that are doing their utmost to help you. Please think about the effect that GP/nhs bashing is having on the professions because honestly it makes you feel undervalued, unappreciated and wanting to leave.

I don’t think anyone should be rude to staff anywhere, let alone medical staff, but at the same time we only access it when sick, so its not really reasonable to ask the patients to show compassion to you. That’s your job when working in the NHS, to show compassion to us. Maybe it seems like a bashing thread. But I’m afraid there’s too many people having bad experiences of actually poor care to keep passing the buck to the government for lack of funding or staff. I expect my GP to show care and kindness to me, and to listen and pay attention. I’ve only had two doctors actually do their job properly, plenty of kind nurses but far too many rude angry and lazy doctors. For years women have suffered with certain conditions that GP’s have been too lazy to attend to properly, namely endometriosis and menopause. When they’re not even following NICE guidelines, you cannot blame funding. That’s them not doing their job. I was offered anti depressants numerous times but thankfully resisted only to save for more than 5 years to go private and discover I am hypothyroid and in perimenopause. There’s no excuse for my previous GPs missing any of that. One told me, in writing, to ‘reduce my expectations of life’ because I was so fatigued and unwell, I was only 38. As for cancer, I supported someone with my condition who was sent to slimming world but actually had thyroid cancer they missed and she died. If it’s demoralising to have all these patients ‘bashing’ the NHS, why is it our problem? If I was in a workplace getting bad feedback, I would look around and ask within our workplace why that is. I wouldn’t blame those having bad experiences or expect them to shut up about it because it made my lazy rude colleagues feel bad. The NHS is full of wonderful staff, I’m sure. But you need to listen to patient experiences if you want ti feel better about where you work. Really listen. That’s a skill that too many in your profession are lacking.

I agree that some cancers still have terrible prognoses even if detected early.
I have been thinking about this thread and remembering how when I was a child, people did not talk about cancer. If an older relative died of cancer it often would not be talked about. Whereas now people share their cancer journeys on facebook and talk about it.

A relative had bladder cancer. It was treated with a quick procedure and she had no issues since. No chemo, literally a mornings visit to the hospital and feeling tired for a few weeks afterwards. Everyone who knows her knows she had bladder cancer. In the past when it is taboo to talk about it, few would have known.

@WahineToa I think that is a very harsh post.
I find there are brilliant Drs, some good ones and some not so good ones and a few terrible ones. Sometimes those who are good at medicine such as surgery, have terrible bedside manners.

Pretty much every woman of a certain age is in peri-menopause. It is natural but very ignored and neglected. Thyroid issues are difficult as some people benefit from treatment even if their levels are in the normal range. Medicine involves a lot of judgements and sometimes those judgements are wrong.

@antelopevalley it’s not, it’s the truth. Judgements are not the issue when GPs around the country are having to be reminded officially to treat women based on the NICE guidelines! Seriously!! Making women wait years in misery is what’s harsh

We get the same here in the UK. I have just done mine too. Had it lying around since summer.

This year I have also had a mammogram, and a two week follow-up, and ultra-sound, thankfully all clear. I have also had a cervical smear. All clear. I have had all my Covid vaccines and a Flu vaccine. I started HRT in Feb. All free on the NHS. So personally I can't really complain.

DM, prior to Covid, had so much out of the NHS. She was 92, and in pretty good health, but had regular GP appointments, blood tests, heart tests, numerous amounts of prescriptions, most of which she didn't use and ended up in the bin. She declined so many referrals it was ridiculous. I think she is still one of those on the lists, and we keep telling them she has died, but they still keep sending letters!

We only get NHS bowel screening over 60 in England - 10 years after most equivalent countries.

No, it is dropping down to 50, I just got mine and I am 55. They are also running 50+ endoscopies as a trial locally to us, lots of my friends got called.

They are also running 50+ endoscopies as a trial locally to us

Really? Invasive and potentially traumatic endoscopies on asymptomatic people?

So sorry to hear all of your stories. It makes me fucking angry. Yes people die young, die of cancer, and its unfair. But when health professionals have fobbed them off and basically led them to their death when they did everything they were supposed to, its just sickening. Gaslit to death. Young parents, stolen. People almost at retirement after lifetimes of service, stolen. Disgusting.

@WarblingEttie
"They are also running 50+ endoscopies as a trial locally to us

Really? Invasive and potentially traumatic endoscopies on asymptomatic people?"

If was anything like a trial I participated in it was to prove (or disprove) the effectiveness of changing a process. I had a mammogram earlier than standard and they will track the cohort who got them and see if it makes a difference, and if so to what degree.

So of they're doing endoscopes they will find out what percentage of people discover cancer via this method versus other screening methods (or no methods at all!) and then track effectiveness of treatment when comparing the two methods of discovery.

It's incredibly sad and scary. You hear of these cases all the time. It shouldn't be happening. I was diagnosed with cancer 8 years ago. I knew something was wrong but I certainly wasn't expecting cancer in my 30s. My symptoms could have been so many other, relatively harmless, things. Fortunately for me the medical professionals decided to run extra tests, scans etc "just in case". As a result my cancer was spotted at an early stage. I am so thankful that they were so vigilant, that they looked for cancer even though they thought it probably wasn't. I wasn't pushing for tests at all. They could have sent me away and I'd have believed I was fine. I'm telling my story partly because I feel so grateful to these doctors every day of my life. I'm also telling my story to give hope to others - to say there are some amazing, vigilant doctors out there who'll go the extra mile "just in case".

As I said a relative was diagnosed with very early-stage bladder cancer. A small operation cured her. It was only a few months ago and treatment was very fast.

I'm so sorry to read about your losses OP, and those of others on this heartbreaking thread

I honestly don't know why the government bother with these awareness campaigns. My experience is the doctor will just dismiss you anyway.

DH and I both do this poot=test bowel cancer screening at home every two years; the (free) screening service sends the kit through the post, I post back the sample to them and get the results.

Its very simple and non messy to do; can't recommend it highly enough.

<www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/screening/bowel/bowel-screening>

includes links to the screening services in England and Wales

I

Your poots are safe; it's a poo test

My mum was fobbed off for 12 weeks by her GP. Was told her bloated stomach was IBS and she was nuts for thinking it was cancer. It was cancer. The bloating was 4 litres of cancerous fluid. Her oncologist said it happens all too often with GPs. Sadly too late for my mum who was diagnosed too late to cure.

Yea unfortunately it is all too common now with the NHS. Absolutely heartbreaking! My very fit and healthy grandad was misdiagnosed over the phone during a lockdown and something easily treated ended up killing him. More recently a very close family friend has been pushing the drs for investigating a debilitating cough that had her bed bound and unable to breathe, they ignored her for months and now she’s stage 4 lung cancer. Her parent died from lung cancer so you’d think they’d have been a bit more urgent in their diagnosis.

Please, please don't put people off seeking medical help.

My experience and DH's are the exact opposite; far from being dismissed by doctors we've received excellent NHS support , referrals, screening and lifesaving cancer treatment. We've both survived the familial cancers that killed our parents and other relatives because our generation is better informed, we pursued screening, so our cancers were diagnosed and treated at an earlier stage.

I think a previous poster has alluded to the stigma of cancer. It was almost always a death sentence historically and people found it very difficult to talk about.
Some cancers also carry the embarrassment/taboo factor. bowel, bladder, gynaecological, testicular, prostate essentially the “below the waste” or “down there” cancers. Since almost all these cancers spread to the lung/liver/brain it is often easier to refer to the cause of death as liver/lung or brain cancer. Far more sanitised. The reality is that these cancers were always there but not discussed.
Covid has definitely delayed diagnosis resulting in late diagnosis for a significant number, but the taboo nature of these cancers does discourage people from seeking diagnosis. Clinicians often have to second guess patients who are reluctant to give a comprehensive history because of embarrassment or fear.

My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in June. She was watching TV one night and a voice in her head said check your breasts. She did and found the tiniest lump. Went to the doctor the next day and the doc couldn't find the lump but sent her for a scan anyway. Six weeks later she had the scan, lump and surrounding tissue removed, radiotherapy and is now clear of the cancer.
My partner at the start of the year was suffering from pain when eating and heartburn. Went to the doctor and was diagnosed with acid reflux. Was given tablets and pain went away for a while, came back in June and went to doctor again, had an endoscopy in August and was diagnosed with terminal esophagous cancer which has spread to his liver, lymph nodes and lungs.
It all depends on the doctor and how pushy they are.