Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

I am just about to email to turn down a job offer for a job I actually really want. Anyone else had this occur?

316 replies

ThatBliddyWoman · 13/10/2022 06:48

I have had two interviews for the job, one just an informal meeting and the second a presentation. Both went well and I was offered the job. It was advertised as (for example) the pay starting at about 2K less than I am on now, and going up to 3 and a half thousand more.

They've offered me the very lowest end of the scale, because I don't have all of the experience they wanted.

They wanted a degree, experience in one particular field and experience in another field. I have two degrees (a Masters) and experience in one but not both of the areas so they'd start me on the lowest pay.

It's also more hours than I do now (albeit not many) some hours WFH some in the office. So I'd have to factor in petrol costs, and paying a dog walker.

I've looked at my finances over and over and I just can't do it :(

I keep re-wording the email. What I want them to do is to come back and say 'Great we'll give you more money then!' but It's not likely is it.

I have a gut feeling that they've not had many people apply. I breezed through both the interviews, I got the impression they really liked me :(

It's also in a field I really want to work in and really want to gain experience in. They'd offered to put me through a qualification I have always wanted too.

Gutted. Has anyone else had something such as this happen?

OP posts:
Original poster
ThatBliddyWoman · 13/10/2022 06:51

Sorry forgot to add I currently WFH permanently, so no petrol costs or dog care required. I suspect there are other costs to factor in while working outside of the home, that I've not considered too.

OP posts:
Dontsparethehorses · 13/10/2022 06:52

Is it worth saying something along the lines of thank you so much for the offer it is such an exciting opportunity. Unfortunately as I understand that you are only able to offer £X and this is less than I am currently on £Y I am unable to accept at this time.
I appreciate your time and hope you manage to find the right person moving forward…. You never know?

Did they phone you to offer you the job? Was there any opportunity to discuss or negotiate pay at that point?

Whatacarryonthisis · 13/10/2022 06:52

You just say thanks for the offer but you are currently on x and with the extra travel costs you’d need to earn y

if it’s a decent company and they want you they likely have some flex to pay more, if not it’s not the job for you

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Jobs
NegroniLover · 13/10/2022 06:53

Could you have a discussion with them to see if there's wiggle room & to see how quickly you might progress?
That's a really tough situation to be in but I wouldn't just turn it down without a conversation with them first

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 13/10/2022 06:53

I think you go back and say you cannot afford to work for that salary and ask for more. What's the worse that can happen? They say no and you turn down the job - so no worse off than you are now. But they could say yes.

PeppermintyPatty · 13/10/2022 06:53

It would be totally fine for you to ask for more money; they might say no but opening negotiation is better than flat out refusing.

mollymole999 · 13/10/2022 06:54

Let us know how they reply

Yucca78 · 13/10/2022 06:54

Yes..you need to have the conversation first.

Catslovepies · 13/10/2022 06:54

Definitely negotiate - don't just turn it down.

clpsmum · 13/10/2022 06:55

Good luck. If they advertised a pay range and you're at the lower end it's definitely worth negotiating

Original poster
ThatBliddyWoman · 13/10/2022 06:56

Dontsparethehorses · 13/10/2022 06:52

Is it worth saying something along the lines of thank you so much for the offer it is such an exciting opportunity. Unfortunately as I understand that you are only able to offer £X and this is less than I am currently on £Y I am unable to accept at this time.
I appreciate your time and hope you manage to find the right person moving forward…. You never know?

Did they phone you to offer you the job? Was there any opportunity to discuss or negotiate pay at that point?

She offered me the job at the end of the last interview (one reason I think they've not got many applicants). I think they're asking for quite a lot for the pay they're offering-even the higher end! Experience in two (very different, separate, generally unrelated areas) and a degree-I can't see many people having all that.

When she told me I'd be starting at the very low end of the pay scale I said I just didn't think I could make it work, but I would think about it. She siad she would 'see what she could do' but was very vague and I don't think she expected me to ask for more than what she was offering. My email draft does read very similar to what you said.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThatBliddyWoman · 13/10/2022 06:58

Also, the area I don't have experience in, I am actually quite good at and have done something very similar (think teaching adults in a classroom setting versus being a trainer in a workplace or such) and I demonstrated this in my second interview, she seemed very confident in me for that part.

OP posts:
OutDamnedSpot · 13/10/2022 06:58

Definitely don’t turn it down. Negotiate!

Original poster
ThatBliddyWoman · 13/10/2022 06:58

Whatacarryonthisis · 13/10/2022 06:52

You just say thanks for the offer but you are currently on x and with the extra travel costs you’d need to earn y

if it’s a decent company and they want you they likely have some flex to pay more, if not it’s not the job for you

That's true, thank you :) you never know.

OP posts:
WashableVelvet · 13/10/2022 06:59

Negotiate! If you decline they aren’t going to read between the lines. Whereas if you say thanks but I’d need to earn at least £x and with my masters and extensive experience of x I believe that’s a reasonable salary expectation. Then you give them something to work with. A lot of places offer the lowest as a default starting point t.

Limpshade · 13/10/2022 06:59

If it is just the money that's an issue then you absolutely need to give them an opportunity to raise their offer. Let them know what you'll accept. You may well be surprised (or not, in which case you're no worse off).

CaptainMum · 13/10/2022 06:59

I agree with the above. Negotiate. Know the minimum amount you can afford to work their for and have confidence in your worth. Hope the email goes well 🙂

FlatterNow · 13/10/2022 07:00

I'd change your email slightly - instead of saying you are unable to accept and hoping they find the right person, suggest a salary you'd be happy with and say that you're really hopeful you and they can make it work as you're really excited by the role and keen to join them, or something along those lines.

PorridgewithQuark · 13/10/2022 07:00

Exactly - phone and ask for the top end of the salary. What have you got to lose?

Original poster
ThatBliddyWoman · 13/10/2022 07:01

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 13/10/2022 06:53

I think you go back and say you cannot afford to work for that salary and ask for more. What's the worse that can happen? They say no and you turn down the job - so no worse off than you are now. But they could say yes.

Yes. I will put something in it along those lines. As an aside I am actually really happy with what I do now, but It's just so easy and I don't use my brain or learn anything new at all. I want something more challenging and engaging, but not that along with earning less. It's just not worth it unfortunately.
I've also got this niggling feeling that I won't ever find somethin that ticks all the boxes. I'm 40 years old-now or never for a job I really love and feel is doing me good, really.

OP posts:
TheClitterati · 13/10/2022 07:02

Whatacarryonthisis · 13/10/2022 06:52

You just say thanks for the offer but you are currently on x and with the extra travel costs you’d need to earn y

if it’s a decent company and they want you they likely have some flex to pay more, if not it’s not the job for you

Do this.

Don't turn the offer down. Don't be all "I'm so sorry blah blah".

Be direct, be confident, simply state "I'd like to accept your offer and love the job but I'm not prepared to start on less than £xx".

bigblueyonder · 13/10/2022 07:03

Negotiate- meet them half way and ask them to match your old salary at the very least.

Original poster
ThatBliddyWoman · 13/10/2022 07:03

WashableVelvet · 13/10/2022 06:59

Negotiate! If you decline they aren’t going to read between the lines. Whereas if you say thanks but I’d need to earn at least £x and with my masters and extensive experience of x I believe that’s a reasonable salary expectation. Then you give them something to work with. A lot of places offer the lowest as a default starting point t.

I find being so assertive really difficult! I will probably write something that says that, but in a bit of a 'fluffier' way if that makes sense!

OP posts:
Ouchiebum · 13/10/2022 07:04

This is the reason we have a gender pay back. Think like a man! Tell them what you want, if they say no, you say bye. You are worth the salary, get what you deserve.

OperaStation · 13/10/2022 07:04

Catslovepies · 13/10/2022 06:54

Definitely negotiate - don't just turn it down.

This. Women are REALLY bad at this kind of thing. Of course they’ve offered you the lowest salary. It’s a starting point for negotiations.

You are more than qualified for the role and I can guarantee that nobody that they interviewed ticked every box in the job description. A job description is a wish list, not a minimum list.

Work out exactly what you need so that you’re not out of pocket and tell them you’ll accept the job if they offer that.

The worst that can happen is they say no. They won’t retract the offer just because you asked.

Good luck. You’ll be fine.