Is it helpful for anyone planning a wedding to have a "what guests don't appreciate" thread?

[A580Hojas]

Looking back on my wedding nearly 30 years ago, I realise I made some mistakes (cheers MN!) in terms of what my guests would have liked.

And having been to a wedding very recently, I would say that this 2022 bride and groom made some mistakes too.

I'm not posting in any sort of judgemental way about this 2022 B&G by the way, but if they were my son or daughter now I think I'd gently advise otherwise in terms of what was good for their guests. When you are planning a wedding it can sometimes happen that you forget your guests.

So ... does anyone want to contribute to a helpful "what not to do if you're getting married" thread?

That awkward entertainment during the meal that tries to include the guests by either making a show of them in some sort of a comedy skit, or tries to get them to sing onfront of the whole room... Noooo thank you!

Child free is the best, no screeching through the vows/speeches. Even if parents take them out if they start it's ruined the moment anyway.
Pimms is revolting so don't want that even if it's complimentary.
Don't want a magician annoying me (hate magic tricks)

I love a photo booth and a sweetie table because I don't really like dancing at weddings much-depends what's playing. Nice to have an area for guests to sit and chat away from the VERY LOUD MUSIC.

Absolutely this!!

I've been to so many weddings that did this, and heard accounts of so many that did.

The worst was an incredibly wealthy couple my parents knew, whose daughter's marriage they attended. It was huge and lavish, but my parents came home really early as they were starving, because the B&G spent so long having professional photos done after the service.

Hahaha!! Well...be warned!

Bride fond of both. One from the bride's mother's side of the family, one from the bride's father's side. I shall leave it to you to guess which was which.

And yes, etiquette-wise, very bad form I think, especially when you have only two female cousins.

Ditto to speeches, whoever said that. IMO there should be a law against any wedding speech lasting longer than 5 minutes.

As my DF used to say, ‘Stand up, speak up, shut up.’

Clearly up to the B&G but my requests would be:

1. If you are inviting vegetarians please don't assume that they eat like birds. If you are having a sit down dinner please don't serve us a toddler sized portion of goats cheese tart with salad whilst everyone else has a huge dinner. Similarly please don't forget us when you decide on starters and dessert- it's so disappointing to find out that the only starter is fish based and the dessert has gelatine in it. If you are having a buffet, please include twice as much vegetarian food as you think you need- in my experience most meat eaters will want at least some of the veggie food too and it's often the first to be eaten.
2. Consider what time of day your wedding is when deciding what food to serve. If it's before about 3pm the chances are many of your guests will not have had time for lunch before they arrive so will be starving by the tie the photos are being taken. Some simple food would be very much appreciated (especially if the venue is miles from the nearest shop and you won't be serving dinner until 8pm). One of the best catered weddings I went to was actually catered by family and friends instead of wedding presents and they put out crackers/cheese/pate/bread/pickles etc whilst the B&G had photos.
3. If you decide not to invite children, or to get married somewhere difficult to get to/miles away from where you live that's fine. But please don't try to sell it as a big favour you're doing in arranging for your guests to have the opportunity to go there. If I wanted a weekend miles away from home without my children I could organise it for myself. I don't, but would probably put up with it to attend a good friend's wedding if that's what they wanted

If I invited half the moaning people on this thread to my wedding, it would be a very miserable day indeed!

My bad experiences around weddings revolve around the discomfort of hunger, standing around and being cold. (All three at the worst one).

Give guests an idea of timings. If there's a gap, they can fill it better and relax. We've gone to a pub en-route between venues when we've known there's a dead hour or so between.

Think about your guests needs. Are they local and benefit from a local venue? Is there affordable accommodation nearby? Do they need a weekend/ school holidays to attend? Are you inviting all their childcare but banning their children? Can they afford the cash bar? Are they prepared to help set up?

Wow factor is nice if you can afford it, but it's the basics and practicality that will make or break a day.

The best bit of a wedding is when you see the bride and groom glowing with happiness at the next chapter of their lives. Priceless and not always a feature.

Having a wedding abroad and expecting guests to pay a fortune for flights and hotel etc, using valuable leave and family holiday time.

Why, are you planning to get everyone to travel 250 miles to then stand around for 3 hours without a drink or a crust of bread

It's the UK. It rains frequently. Do not hold your wedding in a barn in the arse end of nowhere then expect your guests to traipse across a muddy field then stand around in the cold & wet for three hours without any food.

It’s funny isn’t it. In many ways I do salute the UK’s barn owners for convincing couples that this is a romantic place to spend their special day.