Is it helpful for anyone planning a wedding to have a "what guests don't appreciate" thread?

[A580Hojas]

Looking back on my wedding nearly 30 years ago, I realise I made some mistakes (cheers MN!) in terms of what my guests would have liked.

And having been to a wedding very recently, I would say that this 2022 bride and groom made some mistakes too.

I'm not posting in any sort of judgemental way about this 2022 B&G by the way, but if they were my son or daughter now I think I'd gently advise otherwise in terms of what was good for their guests. When you are planning a wedding it can sometimes happen that you forget your guests.

So ... does anyone want to contribute to a helpful "what not to do if you're getting married" thread?

PowerPoint. If there is any type of slide show you’ve gone too far. People are not at work and however hilarious I don’t want to be subjected to ‘animated’ slides.

Things that have annoyed me as an attendee....
Venues in the arse end of nowhere with no local accommodation.
Child free weddings (or almost child free weddings).
Soooo many posed photos

Things I wouldn't repeat from my own wedding.....
Sooooooo many posed photos
Half the decorations

The best wedding favours I've ever had at a wedding were scratch cards where I won £20!

Another thing we just didn’t do! We had already decided we weren’t having any speeches, on the day my husband ended up standing up to literally just say thanks for coming and that was it. We were at a wedding a few months before where the best man was visibly nervous as his speech approached. I so wanted to go up and tell him he didn’t need to do it the poor soul 😭 He was pulling at his collar as the woman from the hotel introduced him. He was so nervous he kept losing his place, he insulted the bride with a joke that wasn’t funny because he’d said it wrong due to nerves, it was all a disaster. Her dad didn’t look like he wanted to be doing a speech either and everyone has to politely laugh while judging whether it was actually funny or not. I just don’t see the need to put people through it. Fair enough if everyone wants to and is hilarious but otherwise, give it a miss 🙈

Leave at 11.30! It's just getting started then!

Keep travelling time between ceremony and reception venues reasonable, nearly 2 hours is not fun.

@CurlyhairedAssassin to be fair yes it was mainly a timing issue, still something to be considered though.

Keep me fed, watered, warm and sat down and you can do whatever the fuck you like with the rest of the day.
I’m too old now to put up with even mild discomfort if none of it is of my own choosing, and certainly not if I’ve paid a fecking fortune to attend.
[bitter at remembrance of weddings past]

Forgive me if I'm being really stupid but what's wrong with a table 19?

I actually don’t mind the standing about between the ceremony and the reception- I just use it as an opportunity to start getting elegantly pissed before the food absorbs all the alcohol.

I hate the speeches though. So many best men needing to be told that there is no requirement to be funny. I really really hate hearing vulgar or embarrassing stories about the groom. Just give the couple your good wishes and say how happy you are for them, no need to turn into Frankie Boyle ffs.

If you have guests with allergies either cater for them all day (i.e. not just the sit down meal) or let them know to bring something for the canapes/lunch/evening. Buffets are a nightmare for allergies even if there are things there the person can eat, they can't once people have dipped things and swapped cutlery etc. Put something aside for the allergic person if possible. I often take something to weddings now just in case but it's not always an easy setting to have a subtle lunchbox!

Don't try and get everyone dancing in the evening, at weddings I want to spend time catching up with friends and family and I cam't do that squashed round the edge of a dance floor unable to get away from the loud music or even worse trying to ignore a DJ / caller yelling at everyone to get up and dance. Have some seating away from the dance floor.

Apart from a couple of shots of the two of us coming out the church, we did the big group picture first, then all the friends, then each of our families, then the smaller groups and ourselves last and sent people off to the reception venue (across the road). It was like the "So long farewell" song in the Sound of Music as people disappeared 😁

If you’re doing a buffet, let vegans / vegetarians go up first. It’s not fun to be the last table to go up & find that only meat dishes are left.

Speeches are usually cringeworthy and a pain. Just have a toast to b&g !
Photos during drinks.
Destination weddings are a way of cutting down the guest list.
Don't write awful poems asking for money instead of gifts!

What’s wrong with destination weddings being an excuse to cut the guest list? Not everyone wants a huge wedding.

Ugh wedding poems yes, never ever read a good one, utter cringe!

Always have child free weddings. That's my only preference.

Awful DJs/bands who can’t read the room.

Appreciate wedding music is hard with such a mixed group but the number of times I’ve been at a wedding with lots of people dancing, then for multiple songs they decide to play totally different genre messing up the vibe and it doesn’t work but take 30 minutes to read the room and rectify (or the reverse). Painful.

Keep the photos really short
Don't have the church and venue miles apart or in the middle of no where

I once went to a wedding where there wasn’t actually enough tables for people to eat their meal 😳

There was no table plan, so we grabbed a table with friends and only mid way through eating realised that there were elderly relatives eating off their laps in another room because of there just physically not being enough places - we gave up our seats because we felt awful but the bride & groom seemed oblivious.

The venue had obviously been chosen on the basis there was lovely gardens, outside seating & ‘lawn games’ but the weather was rubbish and inside was cramped with nothing whatsoever to do, didn’t even have music playing, we left early & went to the bar at the hotel we were staying at.

Wedding at 1pm in Ireland goes on until minimum 2am, usually 4am, with some cases of 6am! Regardless of location.

Absolutely love this

Don’t expect your guests to spend a fortune to go to your destination wedding.

Have chairs at the evening 'do.' I remember being very surprised at the wedding of my very lovely friend when at the evening do there was nowhere to sit down. Most of her friends were in their 20s and could stand around or dance but she also had a few elderly relatives who I noticed made quite swift exits when there was nowhere for them to sit down.

Wedding at 1pm, means leaving home at 8ish am. Canapes and prosecco from 2pm to 5pm is very stretched out. Dinner and speeches and wedding cake from 5pm to 7pm is nice. But then everyone is expected to dance til 11.30? It's just unrealistic
My wedding started at midday and went on to to 4am! A few guests were still going for it even later than that!!