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Original poster

What would you have done? Street compliment

134 replies

ZuzuSusu · 12/10/2022 19:16

Today as I was on a crosswalk into the grocery store, a man waiting at the crosswalk in his truck leaned out and shouted "you look really nice today!"

Would you have:
a. Acknowledged compliment with a smile/wave/verbal comment like "thanks!"
b. Ignored him and continued walking in the store
c. Approached him and given him your number
d. Rude hand gesture

I'll let you know what I did/what happened next after some responses!

OP posts:
Summerfun54321 · 12/10/2022 21:22

I like to do a double thumbs up with a loud “cheers nice one mate” in a thick cockney accent. Anything that takes them back a bit so they’re too surprised to deliver a shitty comment. If it’s at night I ignore and walk away quickly.

Summerfun54321 · 12/10/2022 21:24

Pieceofpurplesky · 12/10/2022 20:48

I would ask him if he was OK to drive with such bad eyesight, given that I am fat and ugly

🤣

AltheaVestr1t · 12/10/2022 21:25

awomanofthecuntytype · 12/10/2022 21:20

I know you did B, OP, but I'd have done A. A bit of niceness does no harm. Plus I'd be laughing to myself inwardly because I look as if I'm 20 from behind, but am clearly 50 from the front.

It wasn't nice though, was it? As he followed up with 'fat bitch', his intentions were clearly not pleasant!

MarshaBradyo · 12/10/2022 21:27

It’s the shouting that makes me ignore it

If I think about random compliments I received from women and some men only men have felt the need to be intrusive

Either by shouting from a car / van etc or just general need to interrupt my day

Whereas women and a few men can do it in a less intrusive way - it feels like that everyday sexism

EugeneLevysEyebrow · 12/10/2022 21:27

There’s nothing nice or friendly about men who do this. It’s 100% them asserting their dominance over women, and the thinking that men somehow own public spaces.

I think my ideal response would be to point at a random man and ask the man who spoke to you whether he plans to ‘compliment’ that man next?

DramaAlpaca · 12/10/2022 21:29

I'd ignore. I do not want my appearance to be commented on by a random man.

I'm shocked that so many of you appear to find it flattering. It's not.

CrunchyCarrot · 12/10/2022 21:44

A.

Original poster
ZuzuSusu · 12/10/2022 22:23

AltheaVestr1t · 12/10/2022 21:15

It is sexism, pure and simple, that makes men feel that they have the right to randomly comment on the appearance of women that they don't know in the street. It's an expression of their perceived superiority and lack of respect for women as private and individual people. The initial comment may have been superficially polite but the attitude is the same as a wolf-whistle or touching your arse on the tube. 'I am a man, you are a woman, it's my right to impose my will upon you'. I'm really surprised to see so many women in this day and age would be flattered by this cave-man behaviour.

This comment really resonates with me. He wanted a response from me and the only correct response (to him) would have been a positive acknowledgment of his behavior. Since I didn't respond the way he wanted me to, he then felt justified in insulting me.

My first instinct was to smile at him, but I suppressed it because I wasn't feeling happy, I was feeling startled and annoyed.

OP posts:
SpanishSteps123Ole · 13/10/2022 07:07

His compliment is worthless, his insult is worthless, because his opinion is worthless.

BatteryPoweredMammy · 13/10/2022 08:09

Definitely B.

Random men with their unwanted comments can fuck right off as far as I’m concerned.

He was a grade A twat as demonstrated by his second line. Just who the fuck does he think he is that entitles him to give his opinion on ‘fuckability’ to unknown women (and probably young teens too)? Because that’s what it comes down to and women don’t generally do this sort of thing.

Women need to band together and shut down these men because it’s not complimentary unless you really think cat calling young girls is perfectly ok?

FaazoHuyzeoSix · 13/10/2022 08:15

Probably B in reality.
But I wish I would have the confidence and articulate quick-thinking to retort something pithy about how his casual misogyny that leads him to think that a total stranger only exists in the world for his pleasure (and should be grateful for his attention) is sickening.

hugefanofcheese · 13/10/2022 08:35

ZuzuSusu · 12/10/2022 19:53

@ThatGirlInACountrySong In the US!

I chose option b. Ignore (after a baffled look) his follow up to me turning away was "wow, fat bitch"

I was surprised to see so many people would have done the same! There was another thread recently where a poster had to deal with a much more intrusive man and was called rude for giving him a curt response. I was curious to see if people thought kindness/politeness/gratitude was owed in this situation, which began as relatively benign.

I did not feel grateful, just mild annoyance as I prefer that strange men don't comment on my appearance.

Arsehole, in that case. With men like that it's always about your weight (I always go B for anything that's less than totally innocuous or seems like an opener and sometimes it has elicited this idiotic response). They understand that one of the worst things that can be said to a western woman is that her BMI is too high and go straight for the jugular.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 13/10/2022 08:38

RoseslnTheHospital · 12/10/2022 19:42

B because I don't care what some random man thinks I look like today. Plus it's intrusive of him to just shout stuff at women.

This! It's creepy.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 13/10/2022 08:42

I'm old enough to remember when this was really common, I would walk the long way round rather than pass a house where there were builders, men used to wind windows down and leer out of the car , cat calls and world whistles etc. Actually,I don't know if it's just because my 50 and menopausal or it's not as common as it used to be,I think it's the latter.

bigblueyonder · 13/10/2022 08:46

A or B depending on the tone it was said.

thebabessavedme · 13/10/2022 09:36

A compliment from a man I know/like/love/trust/respect is lovely, will always get a smile from me and a 'thank you'. A 'compliment' from some bloke hanging his head out a van will be ignored, I would assume he is some sort of misogonistic pig who is actually just rating my 'fuckability', like this occasion.

A compliment from a woman I don't know is always welcome, mainly as it involves conversation, 'oh I love your coat/bag/boots' etc, usually followed by 'where did you get it', its genuine, pleasant and can really lift a low mood.

Random men, meh!, need not apply.

BryceQuinlanTheFirst · 13/10/2022 09:45

I dislike being complimented by men I don't know. And I don't like that I should be flattered by it. Honestly I'd prefer an unknown man not comment on my apparence in any way. I get a lot of street attention and I've always hated it

NamelessNancy · 13/10/2022 09:50

cosmiccosmos · 12/10/2022 20:06

The number is 'A's on this thread is depressing

It is, isn't it? Especially the posters whose day would be improved by the opinion of a random man.

hairyunicorn · 13/10/2022 09:51

A

littleburn · 13/10/2022 10:00

Well according to the other thread you reference OP, a considerable proportion of mumsnet think unsolicited male attention should be met with nothing but gracious kindness and making it into a 'gender issue' is very, very wrong. Would you have ignored a woman who commented on how nice you looked OP, don't you know that shouting comments at her on the street was how my dad met my mum OP etc, etc. I mean more fool you for rejecting this prince among men!

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 13/10/2022 10:03

ZuzuSusu · 12/10/2022 19:53

@ThatGirlInACountrySong In the US!

I chose option b. Ignore (after a baffled look) his follow up to me turning away was "wow, fat bitch"

I was surprised to see so many people would have done the same! There was another thread recently where a poster had to deal with a much more intrusive man and was called rude for giving him a curt response. I was curious to see if people thought kindness/politeness/gratitude was owed in this situation, which began as relatively benign.

I did not feel grateful, just mild annoyance as I prefer that strange men don't comment on my appearance.

This is so telling! We all know what is just beneath the surface of the friendly compliment.

When a man demonstrates that he feels entitled to our time/attention in public he is already telling us everything we need to know about him!

rbe78 · 13/10/2022 10:09

A. It's nice to get a compliment, from any gender.

A wolf whistle is not a compliment, nor is 'nice tits love'. But 'You look nice today' would make me smile.

Changednamesorry · 13/10/2022 10:10

A

NamelessNancy · 13/10/2022 10:16

rbe78 · 13/10/2022 10:09

A. It's nice to get a compliment, from any gender.

A wolf whistle is not a compliment, nor is 'nice tits love'. But 'You look nice today' would make me smile.

Doesn't the random man's response to being ignored by Op change your mind at all? It clearly wasn't meant nicely.

Monkeytapper · 13/10/2022 10:18

A