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Original poster

What would you have done? Street compliment

134 replies

ZuzuSusu · 12/10/2022 19:16

Today as I was on a crosswalk into the grocery store, a man waiting at the crosswalk in his truck leaned out and shouted "you look really nice today!"

Would you have:
a. Acknowledged compliment with a smile/wave/verbal comment like "thanks!"
b. Ignored him and continued walking in the store
c. Approached him and given him your number
d. Rude hand gesture

I'll let you know what I did/what happened next after some responses!

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 12/10/2022 20:32

@ZuzuSusu and now you see why I said thumbs up as you have to acknowledge them in some way. That seems to be the least flirty or simpering. It shouldn't have to be done at all but there's always the threat of physical violence like the girl had on the London tube a few years ago.

Sorry you got to experience his "displeasure " at your ingratitude

StopStartStop · 12/10/2022 20:32

B. Ignore. He's a pick-up artist and you can do without him.

Butterbean9 · 12/10/2022 20:33

B because some random man's opinion means absolutely nothing to me, and I don't owe him a response, or anything else.
I am sadly not surprised by his reaction to you not be super grateful that he deigned to notice you.

LaughingCat · 12/10/2022 20:34

I would have picked option a - it was unsolicited but still a nice compliment. I would have smiled and returned a cheery, “Thanks, mate! You too!”, and carried on my way.

Looking at him askance and walking off without saying anything would have struck me as a bit weird.

Goingforarun · 12/10/2022 20:37

‘You look nice’ could not be more innocuous. Why be rude? A thumbs up, a smile a you too would be human.

BadNomad · 12/10/2022 20:37

I don't think it does anyone any good to encourage men to compliment strangers on their looks.

Chicheguevara · 12/10/2022 20:38

A plus I would probably be very surprised.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 12/10/2022 20:45

"You look nice" I'd answer "Thanks"
"you look really nice today!" I'd answer "Whoah are you saying I'm usually an old scruffbag" tongue in cheek .

Pandorapitstop · 12/10/2022 20:45

Agree with a PP's comment that the number of A answers on this thread is depressing.

CrystalCoco · 12/10/2022 20:47

100% depends on whether he's hot / I'm single

If he's hot & I'm single = then I'm in

He's hot & I'm married = lol thanks / smile

Not hot = Ignore / disgusted face

Sorry, soooo superficial but so was he!

Pieceofpurplesky · 12/10/2022 20:48

I would ask him if he was OK to drive with such bad eyesight, given that I am fat and ugly

SierraSapphire · 12/10/2022 20:50

Goingforarun · 12/10/2022 20:37

‘You look nice’ could not be more innocuous. Why be rude? A thumbs up, a smile a you too would be human.

I think his "Wow, fat bitch" response indicates his intentions weren't exactly innocuous.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/10/2022 20:50

I chose option b. Ignore (after a baffled look) his follow up to me turning away was "wow, fat bitch"

Which reinforces my theory that it's almost always misogyny when random men make comments on my appearance.

Some men are like fucking toddlers demanding mummy's attention.

Workawayxx · 12/10/2022 20:54

Id have either done B (who knows if he’s even speaking to me?!) or A but just a tight smile/nod rather than full on appreciative gesture! His reaction just goes to show his motives were not genuine.

PorcupinePie · 12/10/2022 20:54

I'd have gone with A. It was a pretty innocuous initial comment. I also compliment random men and women on their clothes, haircut, eyes, bag etc. Everyone in the world isn't a predator or a sleazebag.
If I told some man his shirt was a great colour on him and he said "fuck off you rude bitch", or gave me the finger, or even just straight up ignored me, I'd think that said an awful lot more about him than it did about me and would probably mutter 'alright then wanker' under my breath.

RoseslnTheHospital · 12/10/2022 20:55

A question for those who say it's rude to ignore and walk away... how many times in the last month have you commented on a man's appearance in this way? And if you were ignored, how many times did you follow up with an insult?

Moonshine5 · 12/10/2022 20:58

Mydogneedsabath · 12/10/2022 19:18

A( & I’d still be smiling now)

What a great response

MyneighbourisTotoro · 12/10/2022 21:00

B, this kind of behaviour from men literally terrifies me, I do not want to be heckled in the street no matter how innocent their intentions may be

MadAntonia · 12/10/2022 21:01

ZuzuSusu · 12/10/2022 19:53

@ThatGirlInACountrySong In the US!

I chose option b. Ignore (after a baffled look) his follow up to me turning away was "wow, fat bitch"

I was surprised to see so many people would have done the same! There was another thread recently where a poster had to deal with a much more intrusive man and was called rude for giving him a curt response. I was curious to see if people thought kindness/politeness/gratitude was owed in this situation, which began as relatively benign.

I did not feel grateful, just mild annoyance as I prefer that strange men don't comment on my appearance.

Not surprised he chose to attack you, OP, and using a vile misogynous insult.

How dare you not respond to his ‘compliment’! Don’t you know you were obliged to engage with him?? He was doing you a huuuge favour!

So sorry you had to experience this. 💐

For those who responded ‘a’ - it wasn’t a real compliment. He did not intend it as such.

I, too, might have responded with ‘thanks’, but only to protect myself.

Goingforarun · 12/10/2022 21:03

Very sad that so many of you think like this. Maybe it’s because I’m probably older than most of you.

SugerNiner · 12/10/2022 21:04

I'd have turned around and said "who the fuck asked you"

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/10/2022 21:07

Goingforarun · 12/10/2022 21:03

Very sad that so many of you think like this. Maybe it’s because I’m probably older than most of you.

I'm pushing 50. However I was a young gorgeous blonde girl once. It was constant. And it wasn't nice or well intentioned. It was harassment. And your choices were to ignore and be insulted or acknowledge and be 'asking for it'.

There is a very clear difference between compliments and street harassment and men know it. The good ones keep their opinions to themselves until:

A) asked
B) an appropriate time

SophieJo · 12/10/2022 21:09

A

AltheaVestr1t · 12/10/2022 21:15

It is sexism, pure and simple, that makes men feel that they have the right to randomly comment on the appearance of women that they don't know in the street. It's an expression of their perceived superiority and lack of respect for women as private and individual people. The initial comment may have been superficially polite but the attitude is the same as a wolf-whistle or touching your arse on the tube. 'I am a man, you are a woman, it's my right to impose my will upon you'. I'm really surprised to see so many women in this day and age would be flattered by this cave-man behaviour.

awomanofthecuntytype · 12/10/2022 21:20

I know you did B, OP, but I'd have done A. A bit of niceness does no harm. Plus I'd be laughing to myself inwardly because I look as if I'm 20 from behind, but am clearly 50 from the front.