Terrified I’m going to lose my house

[Hangrysaurus]

ever since this shit show of a mini budget and the economy and mortgages spiralling into chaos, im so so worried about losing my home.

2 kids in childcare to work, will be switching providers to save but dh and I take home about 93k before tax and about 65 after (thanks student loan)

mortgage is due next late December. We have help to buy too, which comes to the end of the 5 year interest free end of next Dec too. We looked at switching when lloyds had their 3.7% rate but with the 4.5k erc it was an extra £700 per month, close to 1500, aka totally unaffordable, even the broker wasn’t sure it was a good bet.

if we pay off the htb (we have about 40k in savings for this) and depending on house value htb is about 75k, if we did this we’d need to add 30k to mortgage or borrow it from parents (although that’s the cash draw down from a pension that the government have also fucked). Then we’d have a 60% ltv provided the house price doesn’t tank too much as we lose our equity.

when we did our mortgage they stress tested to 4.5% as that was the highest rates mortgages had been in the previous 10 years. We were very comfortable in terms of affordability and we’ve done all the right things in terms of future proofing, aside from having kids. It shouldn’t be this way.

i know the banks last resort is to take the house but honestly I’m spiralling. We both recently got new jobs, a combined about 15k a year increase but it ‘only’ amounts to be 400 after tax. Will it all be ok?

(if this comes across as insensitive im really sorry don’t mean it to be)

hi, may I ask what is RPI? I try to google, but still don't understand.
so how much is RPI +1% ??

I can’t even get my head round the fact he earns more and you pay his debt.

It is awful.

Not only have you to pay off half his debt and fully fund your joint children , but your savings have to be used to pay off the htb.

seriously - he’s taking the absolute piss.

And if you are paying for all the children’s expenses and half his debts and half of everything else then what is he spending his money on exactly?

@happyfishcoco RPI = retail price index

Aside from the fact that you absolutely aren’t even on the verge of losing your house and have £700 each month…there is something really off with your childcare payments.

There are strict rules that nurseries must abide by when claiming the NEF. Are you claiming all year round and therefore it’s approx 22 hours per week rather than 30? Otherwise I can’t see how you’re using that over 2.5 days.

Also I’m sure the £17 a day charge for food is actually criminal, any “top-up” fees MUST be voluntary, so if they are charging £17 for food you have every right not to pay this and provide packed lunch instead. They are also not allowed to deduct what the council pay them from their usual hourly fee and charge you that. So the days that the funding cover should be absolutely free, the only thing you legally have to pay for are extra hours that go over this. I hope that makes sense, I’d be asking the nursery for a full breakdown of fees and possibly going to the early years department at your local council.

Eating out and unnecessary top up shops for starters.

Yes it was spread out over the year.

i knew something was up with that ridiculous figure. I did query it with them and they said it’s split across the 6 meals and snacks they have per day there, I asked about a pack lunch and they said no, weasels. She’s not on 30 free hrs yet as she’s not entitled yet

Gosh OP I feel for you. I know exactly that feeling of helpless anxiety, particularly about finances.

to echo everyone else, your DH needs to step up and accept that life needs to change. My DH and I got ourselves into crap through frivolous spending but was fully on board when I decided enough was enough and took control of the finances.

now I know every penny going in and out and actually have an excel spreadsheet that I can refer to when I have panics is very helpful. I have even put in additional categories (essential, nice, frivolous 😁) so at a glance I can see what can be cut depending on need. It means we spend money purposively so can actually get the things we want rather than not knowing how on Earth we’d blown through the money.

with 30 free hrs, go to a state school instead of a private school. save you plenty of money.

6 hours free a day, if you need 3-4 hours more babysitting, just find childmind, cost you £5 per hour.

4x5 =£20 x 22 = only £440 per month.

and, you have £40K savings, you are very far away from losing your house.

you can choose not to pay back HTB,

yes, you have to pay interest,

and so others who don't have savings do the same.

£40K, can cover a few years of double mortgage payments and the HTB interest.

and things may be getting better, ie. you will increase your income,
you may finish your student loan, the interest rate will go down....

sorry to say, but YABU!!! many people don't have 65K after-tax income, kids to feed, and no savings. they are really terrified but you should not.

Jesus christ. This sort of post really makes me feel sick. I'm sorry you're worried OP but fml.

How much does your husband have in savings? Have you seen evidence of this?

I'm wondering if he's really shit with money (more than likely considering his past history), or if he's actually squirelling away a lot more than he lets on. If it's the former, you need to be strict with him, if it's the latter than you have bigger problems in your marriage.

I said I have google it.
I know RPI = retail price index
but I still don't understand what this is???
who set the RPI?
and now the RPI is 12%, is that mean the HTB interest is 13%???

big ticket things like winter clothes, coats shoes

When you say big ticket how big are we talking?

I haven’t read the whole thread but I see you get some grief on the first few pages. Just posting to say I understand how you feel. We have over 100k joint income, two kids in state schools, no childcare cost and I’m really watching my bank account now so we don’t go overdraft. I have never done that before. I remember the days when they were in nursery and it was crippling. This cost of living crisis is shit. I just look at our energy bill, our mortgage and how everything has gone up in prices and feel grim.

She’s not entitled to 30 free hrs yet, she will be in jan which is when she’s going to a state school.

have tried and tried but can’t find a childminder in the area at all, so dc2 will go to private early years at the same place so the maths isn’t quite right there. So we’ll need the wrap around care for dc 1 which is £12 a day and then £5 for lunch supervision and we can bring pack lunch and then it’s £60 for the private early years. But there’s tax free childcare and the sibling discount so it’s cheaper per month. But her 30 free hrs aren’t until next term

appreciate what you’re saying about the rest

Next and Clarks nothing too crazy and try to get on sale or at the outlet

All I’ve got is what he’s said when I’ve brought up how worried I am, specifically about the htb on the house, ive brought up before how it’s unfair and he said he supported the whole house on my previous mat leave when I wasn’t getting paid and he pays for than i think / ‘for everything’

I think you’ll be fine. But you are not unreasonable to worry.

Of course there are people who are much worse off, but that doesn’t mean you are not allowed to worry or be concerned about the impact of this absolute shit show. I hate that people aren’t allowed to worry or complain unless they are in the depths of poverty.

OP - start to make small changes now. I know that hand on heart I could save huge amounts on my weekly food shop. We might need to give up items that were once seen as standard, but will now be a luxury.

Clothes wise - kids at school don’t need a lot of casual clothes during term time. I’ve learned that they outgrow them before getting use out of them.

We have over 100k joint income, two kids in state schools, no childcare cost and I’m really watching my bank account now so we don’t go overdraft. I have never done that before.

Why? You should be completely fine on that income with plenty to spare for non-essentials.

I hate that people aren’t allowed to worry or complain unless they are in the depths of poverty.

This is incredible wealth though, not just ‘not in poverty’. I don’t think a post saying you’re terrified of losing a house when you’re very, very far from that ever happening, is reasonable. A post saying what should I drop first would be a better and more sensitive thread.

I’d sell up and downsize OP

Is this an actual joke?

I'm sorry, but I will never understand being married/having a child together and not pooling all your finances.... It shouldn't matter one bit who currently earns more, we have always been classed as 'low income' household (although we are fine) and have always had a joint bank account before we were even married over 20 years ago. Surely it should be team work, for years I stayed home to raise the children and he worked long hours but I used whatever money I needed whenever I wanted for our children. Obviously I knew what we could afford and wouldn't go on a spree for myself it's common sense and mutual trust isn't it?

I would refuse to use my 40k savings/inheritance to pay off the htb without having full disclosure, ie all bank/savings accounts/ loans. Ask to see his credit report as well, that should show up any omittences.

As for the fact that he begrudges paying for everything whilst you were at home on maternity leave, ie giving birth to and looking after his baby, that says a lot about him. And it's not attractive.

But you were recovering from giving birth to his children and caring for them without pay while he was at work.

Apologies for putting it like this, but imagine the position he'd have been if you'd died giving birth to your second child.

He'd have to look after a newborn and a toddler and even with the most understanding employer in the world, he'd need to go back to work sooner or later and then he'd need to employ a nanny and do all the night waking, housework, laundry etc and go to work.

Kind of puts your contribution into perspective even if you weren't earning, doesn't it? Does he appreciate that?