Terrified I’m going to lose my house

[Hangrysaurus]

ever since this shit show of a mini budget and the economy and mortgages spiralling into chaos, im so so worried about losing my home.

2 kids in childcare to work, will be switching providers to save but dh and I take home about 93k before tax and about 65 after (thanks student loan)

mortgage is due next late December. We have help to buy too, which comes to the end of the 5 year interest free end of next Dec too. We looked at switching when lloyds had their 3.7% rate but with the 4.5k erc it was an extra £700 per month, close to 1500, aka totally unaffordable, even the broker wasn’t sure it was a good bet.

if we pay off the htb (we have about 40k in savings for this) and depending on house value htb is about 75k, if we did this we’d need to add 30k to mortgage or borrow it from parents (although that’s the cash draw down from a pension that the government have also fucked). Then we’d have a 60% ltv provided the house price doesn’t tank too much as we lose our equity.

when we did our mortgage they stress tested to 4.5% as that was the highest rates mortgages had been in the previous 10 years. We were very comfortable in terms of affordability and we’ve done all the right things in terms of future proofing, aside from having kids. It shouldn’t be this way.

i know the banks last resort is to take the house but honestly I’m spiralling. We both recently got new jobs, a combined about 15k a year increase but it ‘only’ amounts to be 400 after tax. Will it all be ok?

(if this comes across as insensitive im really sorry don’t mean it to be)

I agree with PPs, you would feel a lot more in control if you had more sight of the joint pot.
It can be scary being the person earning less, but also paying out more and more as children get more expensive. Combine that with your anxiety and it gives you a falsely low, warped sense of your family's financial security.

We have always framed it that we don't need a 4 bed detached house anyway. It's a nice to have, one we appreciate but could let go of if needed. All we need to feel safe and secure is a much more modest house or flat, to keep a roof over our heads. We don't want to downsize, but we used to track what sort of thing we could downsize to, if we suddenly needed to decrease our mortgage significantly. We found it a helpful reassurance that we are not going to end up on the street.

Nursery fees are brutal, but short-lived in the grand scheme of things.

£700 is plenty. We have much less.
You learn to budget etc
It'll be fine!

You literally seem mad that someone is financially responsible?

No. I’m mad someone with so much money, is here posting about losing their house when they’re not remotely close to that and are wealthy. Like I said if you read your cherry picked comment in context, it’s extremely insensitive and yes, as you also said some of the insurances are not necessary. This person has hundreds of pounds spare. Do you understand only a tiny minority of people are on the income you and OP are? I’m mad at the bubble you all live in and that others are struggling to feed themselves and make rent. Those are things to be terrified about.

Yes we have looked at that but DH is keen to pay into his pension pot. That may have change if we’re facing a bigger mortgage in the future.

This may seem like an obvious and patronising question @Hangrysaurus but you mention that it’s a nursery school - do they open all year round, or are they term-time only? Every so often, there are posts on MN or my local FB parenting group from people who don’t seem to have realised that they’ll need childcare for the school holidays as well!

I agree with all the previous posts on the unfair split between you and DH. You should be splitting costs proportionately to your income. We have a joint account for all household/ child/ pet costs. We know how much we need each month to cover all this, and each transfer money across - I pay 40% and DH pays 60%. It’s also easier to monitor household costs when they all come from one pot.

Try to focus on making a fair split for your finances and then I suspect most of the anxiety will resolve on it's own (and if DH doesn't agree, then you have bigger problems than the mortgage).

Sadly term time only, but they have a club on site that’s £20 per day, so it still works overall cheaper and we can juggle it with annual Leave.

i think you’re spot on, I just pay money out into my husbands account who pays the bills (I do know what they are) but all I can see is just outgoings and because I’m close to my OD every month and he’s saying he’s barely saving, im worried.

we even do menu plan, I do that, and the food shop, so I know how much that is but dh is awful for top up shops of random shit and takeaways for lunch when I’m out of the house

£17 a day for food?? That is insane. Do they use Michelin starred chefs? Send the kids in with a packed lunch!

Next December is a long time away, there could be lots of movement in interest rates (hopefully down!) before then. There's no harm in preparing for a rise now, I'd save save save so you have a big cushion before you need to remortgage. If you've £700 a month spare, you should have enough saved to cushion you from interest rate rises for at least a couple of years. And in the mean time, will you not get any pay rises?

dh is awful for top up shops of random shit and takeaways for lunch when I’m out of the house

You/he needs to get a handle on this. It's utterly stupid to risk your financial security because you can't be arsed to make a sandwich or heat up a tin of soup.

Get him to add up how much it's costing over a week/month/year. This sort of thing needs to be pushed down the priority list after you've covered your mortgage and savings for annual and irregular expenses/emergencies/big purchases etc.

Dh might, but it will be incremental maybe 1/2k. I won’t as I’ve just had the job offer so not even started yet

You also won't have kids in childcare forever, and the costs of that will decrease as soon as the oldest starts school. Yes, you won't be able to afford private school, but you'll have a bundle of extra cash each month to throw at the mortgage.

You can't use your 40k to pay off the htb if you don't share finances fully. Your husband needs to pay more.

I know, and given the amount a 3 year old eats, it’s verging on criminal, worse still you can bring outside food in, she had to have a letter from her consultant to take her specific milk in (it’s not an allergy issue it’s a health one due to her condition) but still, until then they wouldn’t allow it, allergies apparently. I’d gladly send her in with a packed lunch given that their breakfast is cereal, snack is toast, lunch small hot meal and tea beans on toast (or something of that Ilk)

Despite earning more than me, he just doesn’t have it in savings, he was in debt for a while, quite a lot prior to us meeting and the loan is the last of it.

His debt is being paid from your joint contributions but you pay for all the kids stuff yourself?

Don’t use your savings for tut without protecting it or having a serious rejig of family finances

His debt is being paid from your joint contributions but you pay for all the kids stuff yourself?

Sounds like it.

This is absolute madness OP.

So his approach is 'what's mine is mine but what's yours is ours / for the kids'?

You need to have full sight of your finances, both incoming and outgoing.

And the children aren't just yours to cover. Why do you think they are?

You lost me at £93k income.

Banks really DO NOT WANT houses on their books, they want people in those houses paying mortgages with interest.
They'll work with you as much as possible because they don't want the hassle of trying to sell a house for an uncertain amount of money.

When you put it like that, it’s awful isn’t it (true, but awful)

Why though? You seem to actually have more outgoings - cover his debts and the kids clothes and he earns more but he doesnt save.

You need to properly take control of the finances - work out who earns what who spends what and I think here pretty much combine.

And I would ringfence the 40k you are putting in as well

Yeah you definitely need to have a conversation about that. @Hangrysaurus
My ex-husband got the absolute shock of his life once we got divorced and the actually had to contribute and pay for his own children

Your outgoings are 50% of the 'shared' outgoings (which actually include his personal debt) plus almost all of the cost of your shared children.

His outgoings are 50% of the 'shared' outgoings (including his personal debt which you pay half of) plus minimal costs for your shared children.

But I’m asking him, what’s he saving and he says barely anything

Why is he saving anything instead of using excess paying off his personal debt to bring down the household's monthly outgoings and, crucially. so that you don't have to keep contributing to paying off his debts?!

He sounds like a right prick tbh. And you sound naive.

This is not a good mix I'm afraid OP, you're being taken advantage of.

And me 🙄

Wow with the drip feeds on how you pay for stuff n wonder you’re anxious about this. Your husband is taking the piss.