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Original poster

Terrified I’m going to lose my house

377 replies

Hangrysaurus · 12/10/2022 13:08

ever since this shit show of a mini budget and the economy and mortgages spiralling into chaos, im so so worried about losing my home.

2 kids in childcare to work, will be switching providers to save but dh and I take home about 93k before tax and about 65 after (thanks student loan)

mortgage is due next late December. We have help to buy too, which comes to the end of the 5 year interest free end of next Dec too. We looked at switching when lloyds had their 3.7% rate but with the 4.5k erc it was an extra £700 per month, close to 1500, aka totally unaffordable, even the broker wasn’t sure it was a good bet.

if we pay off the htb (we have about 40k in savings for this) and depending on house value htb is about 75k, if we did this we’d need to add 30k to mortgage or borrow it from parents (although that’s the cash draw down from a pension that the government have also fucked). Then we’d have a 60% ltv provided the house price doesn’t tank too much as we lose our equity.

when we did our mortgage they stress tested to 4.5% as that was the highest rates mortgages had been in the previous 10 years. We were very comfortable in terms of affordability and we’ve done all the right things in terms of future proofing, aside from having kids. It shouldn’t be this way.

i know the banks last resort is to take the house but honestly I’m spiralling. We both recently got new jobs, a combined about 15k a year increase but it ‘only’ amounts to be 400 after tax. Will it all be ok?

(if this comes across as insensitive im really sorry don’t mean it to be)

OP posts:
Bridetobe9 · 12/10/2022 19:53

The problem is your husband he sounds awful! There is no way I would be planning on using that £40k to pay off the HTB. I would be having a conversation about finances where you both end up on equal footing and if he won’t oblige I would use that money to consider leaving. His attitude stinks.

superplumb · 12/10/2022 19:54

Hangrysaurus · 12/10/2022 13:16

Thanks koala!

we’ve done all of that and if our bills stay as is and that’s a big if fuel and food wise, and our mortgage does go up to just shy of £1500, we’re left with about £700 a month extra but that’s to cloth ourselves, the kids (who of course grow like weeds and ruin everything) rainy day fund and any ad hoc or emergency spends. Whilst it sounds ‘ok’ I’m not sure it is

Show quote history

Weve never had 700 left at the end of the month. Our fixed term ends next year and my husband checked and if we remortgage now, it would be 500 extra a month. Wed be fucked. Now I'm choosing not to look into it until at least summer next year.

Aria999 · 12/10/2022 20:21

If you both paid all your salary into a joint account you could spend for the kids and household straight out of that, and take a small amount out each month (the same amount as each other) into your personal account for personal stuff.

Then you would both be contributing according to your income without having to think about it further and you would be able to do proper planning on how to allocate your joint income.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General money
PlasticCupPolitics · 12/10/2022 20:36

Hangrysaurus · 12/10/2022 18:52

Yes it was spread out over the year.

i knew something was up with that ridiculous figure. I did query it with them and they said it’s split across the 6 meals and snacks they have per day there, I asked about a pack lunch and they said no, weasels. She’s not on 30 free hrs yet as she’s not entitled yet

Show quote history

Ah I see, sorry I thought you’d said 30 hours.

They are still breaking the terms of the NEF by charging you £17.00, they can certainly ask for this but there MUST be a free alternative, I.e. providing your own food. They are also entitled to charge for the lunch hour but you MUST have the option to take them out for that hour so no payment is needed (not sure anyone would do that as it’s batshit but still, they have to give the option). You really need to bring this up with them, or your local authority.

Original poster
Hangrysaurus · 12/10/2022 20:45

So I just spoke to him again about the bills and he said no, marriage should be 50/50, so I should pay 50% and he should be able to have more savings/ disposable Income and spend it how he wants…. Man this thread has taken a turn

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 12/10/2022 20:47

Hangrysaurus · 12/10/2022 20:45

So I just spoke to him again about the bills and he said no, marriage should be 50/50, so I should pay 50% and he should be able to have more savings/ disposable Income and spend it how he wants…. Man this thread has taken a turn

So 50/50 on bills but I imagine not 50/50 on anything else OP? And that somehow he should have more savings even though it should be 50/50

So his savings are out of the 50/50 but his debt is in? And he has savings because earlier you said he didnt and it was all your money going to pay off

You have a real marriage issue Im afriad and it is causing the anxiety ones

RandomMess · 12/10/2022 20:48

Oh well I guess keep your inheritance and savings for yourself then!

It doesn't mean 50:50 it means TEAMWORK and what's yours is mine & vice versa

Hayliebells · 12/10/2022 20:55

OMG your husband is an absolute prise dickhead isn't he? I can't believe he actually said he should be able to have more savings and spending money than you. He's got it all wrong, that's a house share, not a marriage. I'd absolutely be living like you're in a house share from now on, split all the housework on a rota, childcare too, and whatever you do, do not use your money to pay off htb, or for anything else shared. Keep it, don't let him touch it, you might need it!

Original poster
Hangrysaurus · 12/10/2022 20:58

Where it really takes the piss, guess who put down the entire deposit… she’s got two thumbs and no brain apparently

OP posts:
AuntSalli · 12/10/2022 21:01

So 50% when it suits him then 🤬

JustLyra · 12/10/2022 21:01

Hangrysaurus · 12/10/2022 20:58

Where it really takes the piss, guess who put down the entire deposit… she’s got two thumbs and no brain apparently

I assume it’s not protected?

Definitely don’t add another 40k to that.

Eveb if you had to give him 20k in a divorce you’d still have 20k…

Hayliebells · 12/10/2022 21:03

Hangrysaurus · 12/10/2022 20:58

Where it really takes the piss, guess who put down the entire deposit… she’s got two thumbs and no brain apparently

OMG!!!!!😱

Hayliebells · 12/10/2022 21:06

Divorce him before he's entitled to any more of your future savings. There's not much to can do about what you've already given/shared, but I court may find in your favour if you have lower earning because of having children.

Cloverforever · 12/10/2022 21:07

Hangrysaurus · 12/10/2022 20:45

So I just spoke to him again about the bills and he said no, marriage should be 50/50, so I should pay 50% and he should be able to have more savings/ disposable Income and spend it how he wants…. Man this thread has taken a turn

Oh dear, I'm sorry.

butterfliedtwo · 12/10/2022 21:18

Hangrysaurus · 12/10/2022 20:58

Where it really takes the piss, guess who put down the entire deposit… she’s got two thumbs and no brain apparently

Oh no!

butterfliedtwo · 12/10/2022 21:22

OP, do not spend your inheritance on that BTL. He is taking the absolute piss. I've been robust in my posts on this thread, but I am genuinely sorry to read your latest updates.

Butchyrestingface · 12/10/2022 21:25

Hangrysaurus · 12/10/2022 20:45

So I just spoke to him again about the bills and he said no, marriage should be 50/50, so I should pay 50% and he should be able to have more savings/ disposable Income and spend it how he wants…. Man this thread has taken a turn

Well, at least you know now. Sad

Bridetobe9 · 12/10/2022 21:29

He wants it to be 50:50? Have you written it out to show him how you end up so much worse off, on the off chance he just doesn’t get it? I can understand it if you don’t have children but you are sacrificing your earning to bring up his children. Did you say you were on mat leave now? I would be getting in touch with my employer asking to go back to work ASAP, if DH objects tell him, you can no longer afford to live on SMP. Then seriously think about how you want to move forward.

Reallyreallyborednow · 12/10/2022 21:31

Can you prove you put down the deposit? I’d be keeping meticulous records of everything you’ve contributed.

just in case.

Anydaynowonewouldhope · 12/10/2022 21:35

Start invoicing him weekly for childcare services

and start the plan to get him the duck out of your life

Hayliebells · 12/10/2022 21:44

Hangrysaurus · 12/10/2022 14:03

We get the bill come through, and I transfer dh 50% and he pays it to the nursery through the gov account.

ive paid proportionately less since my wage dropped to smp, about 40% the gap taken from savings. Last 3 months, I’ve used my cost of living payment as a salary to pay bill and I’ve been using my bonus as a salary (which I put into savings) to contribute

I've just been looking through your posts and read this. Our you paying exactly 50% off the nursery costs to your DH, or 50% minus your share of the 20% you get from the government for tax free childcare? If you're not deducting your 10% for the tax free childcare, your DH is diddling you put of that too.

AuntSalli · 12/10/2022 21:50

He’s making you pay half the bills while you’re on maternity leave out of your savings ?

IhateHermioneGranger · 12/10/2022 22:14

maddiemookins16mum · 12/10/2022 14:46

93K before tax? Honestly, it’s the families taking home 43K before tax that have the real problems.

Seriously? 😏

RandomMess · 12/10/2022 22:48

Start billing him for the childcare you do whilst he earns 🤬

Aria999 · 12/10/2022 23:49

Tell him in that case he owes you for half the deposit and also if he wants your 40k towards your JOINT house then he had better come up with 40k to match it.

Or, LTB.