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Original poster

I miss my dad

101 replies

Mumtobabyhavoc · 10/10/2022 18:41

My dad passed many years ago on Oct 3. I miss him and still get a bit teary when I think about how much. Now that my mum is older I find I worry about losing her, too.

Anyone else missing a loved one?

OP posts:
Potaytoes5 · 11/10/2022 05:34

It's my mum's birthday today, she would have been 67. It's been just over a year since she died. She was very ill for years but ended up getting sepsis.
I don't think I'll ever trust a GP again, her GP didn't even want to do a home visit and when he eventually did, he was very dismissive.
She never got to meet her second grand child. I wish I had at least one photo of them together.

DoubleChinWoes2 · 11/10/2022 05:37

It would have been my dad's 70th birthday on Monday and he died in April 2020. I miss him an incredible amount. I'm haunted by him dying alone in hospital (it was during the first lockdown and his death was unexpected from a burst ulcer we didn't know he had) and hope he thought of me and how much we loved each other.

He was the best person and there will never be another like him.

Original poster
Mumtobabyhavoc · 11/10/2022 05:49

Oh, no. I'm so sorry. That's just too soon.

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Original poster
Mumtobabyhavoc · 11/10/2022 05:53

I'm reading all posts. ❤️

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AIBAnxious · 11/10/2022 06:23

I lost my dad in August 21 after he got ill in March. I also had twins in February 21. It was such an awful time to lose someone, he had a very weak immune system after diagnosis so I didn't see him that much, on top of over a year of lockdowns, I feel like I've lost out on so much time and memories with him. I also have a lot of guilt over the fact that he had to go into a home - if it hadn't all coincided with me having two babies I could have given my mum more support to keep him at home. And of course the saddest thing is that his grandchildren won't remember him. He had 2 days with them before he got ill and I was too sleep deprived and anxious about various new baby feeding problems to take any photos.

lollipoprainbow · 11/10/2022 06:48

I lost my darling mum 10 days ago so it's very raw. She was my rock, best friend, my everything. She had advanced dementia so had an awful last few years which im bitter about. It's her birthday on Sunday which will be tough.

Original poster
Mumtobabyhavoc · 11/10/2022 14:16

@AIBAnxious Oh, no. What a difficult time for you, especially as a new mum with all the emotions. How are you coping now? Are you taking care of yourself?

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Original poster
Mumtobabyhavoc · 11/10/2022 14:19

lollipoprainbow · 11/10/2022 06:48

I lost my darling mum 10 days ago so it's very raw. She was my rock, best friend, my everything. She had advanced dementia so had an awful last few years which im bitter about. It's her birthday on Sunday which will be tough.

I'm so sorry. It makes us wonder how we'll ever manage. Try to just focus on one day at a time and not overload yourself. Ask for help so you don't take on too much. ❤️

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FooFighter99 · 11/10/2022 14:21

My dad sadly passed away 26 years ago, I was 11

I don't really remember him to be honest, just tiny snippets; I think that is my brain's way of trying to protect me from the trauma - although I do remember the day he died in vivid detail (was v. traumatic)

It never really gets easier either, as the years go by I find myself wondering what kind of dad he'd have been when I was a teenager, how he'd have been as a FIL and Grandfather..... that's what makes me the saddest, because I think he would have absolutely adored my DD

Losing a parent is hard, at any age and while the pain lessens the loss is always ALWAYS there

MsAnnFrope · 11/10/2022 14:23

@lollipoprainbow that must be so hard right now. I hope you have support around you to bring you some comfort.
its been 17 years last month since my dad died. I’m now as old as he was when he was first unwell and I can’t get my head around that.
we had time in a wonderful
hospice to say goodbye but no amount of time is enough really is it?
really feel for everyone else who has lost a parent and is finding the anniversaries hard.

Brokendaughter · 11/10/2022 14:29

I miss my dad too.
I will always miss him.

My mum never cared about me because I was just like my dad & since he died I haven't heard from her at all.
She only ever kept in contact because he loved me & the minute he was gone, she cleared him out of the house & disappeared.

She never even told me when the funeral was or where she buried him.

Losing my dad left me feeling like an orphan.

catinboots123 · 11/10/2022 14:38

Oh my lovely. It's rotten and I won't try and tell you it gets better.

My dad was my hero and died in summer 2021. My best friend told me she cried every day for five years after her mum died. And I can believe that.

Is there anything you can do to make the pain less? We got cushions and teddies made out of dads old clothes - for as and all the grandkids. Then on his anniversary we went away to a lovely fancy hotel so we could be happy not sad?

catinboots123 · 11/10/2022 14:40

I'm sorry @Mumtobabyhavoc I misread your OP I thought it was a recent loss - doesn't make it any easier though Flowers

Original poster
Mumtobabyhavoc · 11/10/2022 19:48

catinboots123 · 11/10/2022 14:40

I'm sorry @Mumtobabyhavoc I misread your OP I thought it was a recent loss - doesn't make it any easier though Flowers

That's okay! Around the time of the anniversary I get a little blue; it's a bit more acute this year. I think because I wish my dad could meet my DS.
I appreciate your kind words, though. You are so right.
I'm sorry you lost you dad last year. Is there anything about him you'd like to share? My dad could be very cheeky. 😊

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catinboots123 · 12/10/2022 21:06

Thanks @Mumtobabyhavoc

My dad was a pain in the arse at times! But aren't we all. But he was kind, thoughtful and so so caring. He had that gift for making mum, me, my sister and the 4 grandkids all feel so special. He used to buy silly but thoughtful gifts for all of us for every occasion. We were his world. Oh and he loved cooking but was shit at roast dinners 😀

We've all ricocheted through the last 18 months. I was lucky to have two parents until I was in my 40s - some people never get to experience that.

Can you tell us something about your dad? Christ it makes you cry but it kind of feels good

Original poster
Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/10/2022 22:56

catinboots123 · 12/10/2022 21:06

Thanks @Mumtobabyhavoc

My dad was a pain in the arse at times! But aren't we all. But he was kind, thoughtful and so so caring. He had that gift for making mum, me, my sister and the 4 grandkids all feel so special. He used to buy silly but thoughtful gifts for all of us for every occasion. We were his world. Oh and he loved cooking but was shit at roast dinners 😀

We've all ricocheted through the last 18 months. I was lucky to have two parents until I was in my 40s - some people never get to experience that.

Can you tell us something about your dad? Christ it makes you cry but it kind of feels good

Your dad sounds lovely. What a blessing. ❤️
I remember my dad teaching me to play poker when I was about 5 years old, but not letting me win! He'd take me for Sunday drives to show me where he grew up. He loved toffee. He'd let me pose him with my dolls and stuffed toys and take pictures. He'd say, I love you, Honey.

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vipersnest1 · 12/10/2022 23:15

@Mumtobabyhavoc, thank you. I'm grateful that you understand how I feel. Flowers

Original poster
Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/10/2022 23:26

Potaytoes5 · 11/10/2022 05:34

It's my mum's birthday today, she would have been 67. It's been just over a year since she died. She was very ill for years but ended up getting sepsis.
I don't think I'll ever trust a GP again, her GP didn't even want to do a home visit and when he eventually did, he was very dismissive.
She never got to meet her second grand child. I wish I had at least one photo of them together.

@Potaytoes5
did you manage to do anything special for her birthday or is it too difficult yet?
on my dad's bday I light a candle for him at church and make a special dinner with some wine or bubbly and raise a glass to him and say Happy Birthday, Daddy. Might be a bit stupid but I do it every year. I have a picture of him on display and I touch it and just say, I miss you.

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Rebeccasmoonnecklace · 12/10/2022 23:36

I miss my Dad so much @Mumtobabyhavoc , he was and always will be my hero. It's been nearly 18 months he's been gone for and I still can't get my head around the fact I'm never going to see him again. I now understand why my Dad used to get teary when speaking about my Grandad, even though he passed over 40 years ago, I guess the sense of loss never leaves us and my heart aches for him, he was such a wonderful man.

My Dad could be cheeky like your Dad, we were blessed to have them. I also have a photo and talk to him everyday x

CharlotteSt · 12/10/2022 23:40

My dad died when I was 16. Over 40 years ago. It makes me sad he never met my DH as their shared love of cricket would have made them great mates I think. My mum died (35 years ago) just after I got engaged and DH only met her once a couple of days before she died. She'd been very ill and it was like she knew I would be looked after so she was "free to go". She'd have loved my life now but I'm glad she didn't have to witness my infertility, she'd have been heartbroken.

I was very fortunate to be able to say goodbye to them both and I love thinking of them together again 🙂

Love to everyone grieving x

Orders76 · 12/10/2022 23:48

You read my mind 😉 I blubbed over my dad this evening which I haven't for a long time. My mum's 85 but away, and I though 'ill just swing by dad' and it all came out. Prompted a chat with kids and we all reminisced a bit.
Big hug to you.

Orders76 · 12/10/2022 23:49

Gone 3 year BTW.

Orders76 · 12/10/2022 23:55

I had a lump in my throat so asked kids what they remember. It was lovely to hear 'he was funny and kind, I liked his stories, he was patient'
Maybe they were saying it for me but they said everything I loved about him being my dad 😔

Original poster
Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/10/2022 23:59

Rebeccasmoonnecklace · 12/10/2022 23:36

I miss my Dad so much @Mumtobabyhavoc , he was and always will be my hero. It's been nearly 18 months he's been gone for and I still can't get my head around the fact I'm never going to see him again. I now understand why my Dad used to get teary when speaking about my Grandad, even though he passed over 40 years ago, I guess the sense of loss never leaves us and my heart aches for him, he was such a wonderful man.

My Dad could be cheeky like your Dad, we were blessed to have them. I also have a photo and talk to him everyday x

I share your loss. 💕

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumtobabyhavoc · 13/10/2022 00:03

Orders76 · 12/10/2022 23:55

I had a lump in my throat so asked kids what they remember. It was lovely to hear 'he was funny and kind, I liked his stories, he was patient'
Maybe they were saying it for me but they said everything I loved about him being my dad 😔

Thank you gor sharing @Orders76 i love that you remembered your dad with your kids.

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