People dying in their fifties and sixties?

[antelopevalley]

I know the stats around life expectancy, but I am finding it mentally hard that so many people I know have died in their fifties and sixties. A few were expected e.g. colleague who was a functional alcoholic, but so many were not expected. A marathon runner who was very fit. A slim and active woman who died of cancer. Another woman who was sporty who died of a rare lung infection. etc etc.

I really do not expect this as I got older. It makes me afraid and makes me worry my partner could die at any time.

That is thought provoking @Torunette I wonder what it is.

Can I ask how old you are ? I am 46 not wanting to die isn't about me. I don't want to leave my DH dealing with the teens, my sibs dealing with the parents or my DC without support (emotional, practical and finaicial)

What is it about that decade though (50 - 60) - that somehow heightens the risk of dying? There must be some link to explain why people are more susceptible to death at this point in their lives?

I'm not convinced people are more susceptible to death in their 50's and 60's. The data (from a PP) doesn't support this

Well as a 56 year old, that's cheered me up no end!!

I think it's different if you've got youngish children. An ITU doctor told me those with younger children fought death harder than anyone else.

I don't have the answer, but I imagine that lifestyle plays a role - if you've been a heavy drinker or never exercised since your 20's, for example, your body will start to show the strain?

Also, some cancers seem to rear their heads at this age, think prostate for men and breast cancer for women. Perhaps someone with a medical background can give more information.

You are more likely to survive your 50’s and 60’s than not.

People mistakenly think that an average death age of something like 75 means you start seeing people die around that age.

But actually what it means is there is an increase that begins before that age, just like it extends beyond that age.

About 50 is when you first start to see people who are being affected by things like older age cancers, heart issues, and such. Many won't have any issues at that age, but more and more will over the next two decades until eventually almost everyone will have some health issues by 75, and by 90 most will die.

I am totally not surprised by a marathon runner dying young, it seems to be a common thing with runners.

My mum died at 57 and dad at 65. I can confirm that poor lifestyle choices was a major factor.

I genuinely don't understand why people are so frightened of death

Because I'm rather enjoying being alive, thanks.

@Rinatinabina I agree but don't waste your breath. I've tried saying the same, even referencing the data that a PP put up.
I think some people just enjoy wallowing in misery for some reason.

Almost all my family have died young... very, very few have made it past 70 but most didnt make it to 50.

Alot of friends have lost parents and such long before 70 too.

Thats why it makes me laugh when people who are 55-60 call themselves 'middle aged'... not being rude but the chances of most of us making it to 110 are very slim and 120 practically impossible.

Middle aged is in reality more like 30-45 (life span of 60-90 years).

ThatsTheWayIHikeIt out of interest, which RA medication was that? My DH has RA and is currently on methotrexate and adalimumab, but before the latter was also on hydroxychloroquine.

I work for a care home charity. I definitely don't want to live to a great age if I'm not in good health and need someone to look after me!

You clearly notice it more when you're a contemporary but, as someone in their early 50s, I (crossing everything) I've fortunately not experienced many of my wide circle of friends pass away. Exception was a 50-year-old acquaintance with ovarian cancer (diagnosed around aged 40).

A lot of the diseases which lead to ill health and shortened life expectancy are probably due to the epidemic in obesity, and teenagers nowadays are definitely heavier earlier than before. Generally speaking it is better to be a pear than an apple (i.e. abdominal fat) as the latter can lead to a range of illnesses that comes down to what is sometimes referred to the metabolic syndrome i.e. high BP, type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol) which puts you at much greater risk for heart disease, stroke, colorectal cancer and also has an increased risk of non-alcoholic fatty liver and liver cancer.

Many of my friends, younger than me (in their mid to late 40s) already struggle with bad back and knees which I guess will be down to their excess weight around their middle. I.e. you can be 'overweight' but it it hits your hips rather than your abdomen, you're probably OK.

I also personally think that lack of sleep and anxiety are terrible for health. Which will probably hit a lot of people with the cost-of-living crisis. So you can have people who are obsessed with keeping fit and eating healthily but who are real worriers. Again research showing the detrimental effect cortisol has on the body (which is triggered by stress e.g.).

Most of my friends lead happy, active lives: they socialise, eat and drink (trying to limit drinking to Thu-Sun; none smoke) - feeling part of a community is probably very important too.

Yes, before I had kids I used to think that I genuinely wouldn’t have really minded if I got diagnosed with a terminal illness ( as long as it wasn’t a drawn out degenerative one).

Now I have kids I would devastated to get a terminal diagnosis.

before I had kids I used to think that I genuinely wouldn’t have really minded if I got diagnosed with a terminal illness ( as long as it wasn’t a drawn out degenerative one)

No doubt having young children does motivate people to live, but I don't think this is the norm for people without children! Were you depressed?

I'm childfree and would be devastated to get a terminal diagnosis in my 40s.

This thread soothes me a bit op, just for the fact I have no-one to speak plainly about this fear, I'm late 30's but have a life expectancy of around 50 due to a genetic condition. It's hard to talk about so this thread helps me too.

My sil passed age 38 leaving a young ds. Through her illness she met other young people with cancer and some of them passed before her, so so sad.

The deprivation in Blackpool is terrible though and look at the amount of drug addiction and alcohol addiction will be a huge factor.

@FartOutLoudDay I love your parents! ;-)
@Charlize43 giggled at your post!
@Torunette That's something I think on, too..
@andherewegoagainagain scary! I'm an apple & have tests for fatty liver & am on statins.. luck of the draw, I suppose!

My own family - uncle, 39, Dad, 54, DH, 48.. all heart, not blood related. Mum 87, dementia, grandparents 66, & 70's, cancer.
Mixed bag..

I don’t think so. I just don’t seem to feel about life like other people do. I had an extremely nice life pre -kids, decently paid job, good friends, great city, did lots of things I enjoy. But I was quite sanguine about life and death. I was very comfortable with dying. I don’t have that ‘life is short, must do everything in it’ mentality. You’ll never do everything, few of us will change the world. We weren’t here, then we are, then we aren’t. I’m ok with that. Or I was. Now I can’t bear to think of what state I’d be leaving my kids in if I died. It didn’t really matter if I died before. Now it does.

One of my friends who sadly passed away this year xx

@BorisByCandlelight I am sorry to hear you are affected by that. But glad this thread soothes you.

My friends son xx