DS plans to walk 32 miles on his own this weekend.

[Interestingmauve]

He's in his first couple of weeks at University. Seems to be really enjoying the course, but not socialising at all. This is not any great surprise, as he's a real introvert and happy in his own company. All his life he's tended to have one good friend rather than a group, although these have changed from time to time.

Hiking is his thing and he likes to do it alone. However, a day walk would usually be about 14 miles.

I'm worried. I don't suppose I can stop him and I won't know if he goes or not if he doesn't tell me, but 32 miles without proper training (above 14m) on his own where he doesn't know the area and has no one nearby he could call for help and the nights drawing in?

On the one hand, great that he's getting out, but....

Haven't read the whole thread but the what3words app is very good - can find your exact location and can be used by rescue services/police etc.

Well it being paved would make it trickier (harder on the feet) and yes being May would make it a bit easier. But it's roughly comparable. I was posting it to show that for people into walking 32 miles is a long way, but some people on this thread seem to think that it's an unheard of, unaccomplishable distance. It's not, it just requires fitness and preparation.

What, like Sheffield to Manchester, you mean?

No, not What Three Words. That's an armchair amateur app. The emergency services may have been conned into promoting it, but the rescue professionals despise it. It has many, many flaws. Much better is the OS app.

32 miles in one day is a challenge. Just check he's prepared for overnight if needed, and that he's planned for things not going to plan. If it gets to 2pm/4pm/6pm and he's behind his target distance, what's his plan to get home?

What sort of ground is he covering?

It is a long walk but also doable. I once did the Yorkshire 3 peaks - 26 miles in 12 hours with no training (I could run 10k on the flat). I was with a group and whilst it was miserable and painful at times, it didn’t feel impossible. Lots of other walkers with plenty by themselves.

Ask which route/paths he’s taking and you’ll have an idea as to how close he’ll be to roads and non-emergency help should he need it. If he’s going city-city the end of his walk, when it might be getting dark, is likely to be in the suburbs.

I'm really confused why you're so worried when you say hiking is his thing. If he's a hiker then he'll have done long hikes before. You and he should both know who to call.
You see solo hikers all the time. What he's doing isn't that unusual or that risky.
Your anxiety and catastrophising are about you, not him. If you haven't spoken to a GP about your anxiety before, now might be the time. It can ramp up if you're peri-menopausal or menopausal.

I think I’d be more worried with a sociable DS during freshers week!

some people just don’t want great swathes of friends.

Not sure if I've misunderstood, but is the mileage because he's walking there and back? If so, could you offer to pay for a Travelodge in the town he's walking to, so he could do it in 2 stages?

As an introvert, I really need solo activities to keep myself sane and happy. So I wouldn't worry about him doing this to avoid social stuff. I understand your worries about him being alone walking, but when I read your post I wished I'd had the level of self-awareness to know that the frenetic socialising of freshers week needed to be balanced by some major quality time alone. If that's what he's doing then good for him.

Is it Bath/Bristol? If so, the cycle path route is used by lots of people!

Some people just like walking a long way, DH won't do anything less than 26 miles unless I am with him, then he is limited to about 10 miles.

OP, is he doing 16 miles there and 16 miles back or is it 32 miles all in one go and then catching public transport back? The first one is easier because he can stop after 16 miles if it's too much. But I honestly can't think of two cities in the UK that are 16 miles apart!

When I was in uni I went to New York on my own, over NYE. I didn't tell anyone I was going or book a room; I just went. I had a blast, even though it was probably one of the more fundamentally stupid things I've ever done in my life.

An experienced hiker pushing himself a bit will very likely be just fine. This seems like one of the more sensible adventures an 18 y/o can get up to.

Check that he has a head torch and spare batteries with him, that I think is pretty essential for if it gets dark

You are his mum and allowed to worry!

Since you know that he can summon real emergency-aid if required, you are really worrying about him being uncomfortable/upset/tired: 'there's quite a wide window between, this isn't going well I need help and a real emergency'
He can learn from this sort of experience -it is only minor suffering- even though you'd rather he was warm and secure in his room.

The walk isn't an unreasonable distance and he must have an idea about how far it will feel to him.

Soldiers can be asked to hike many more than 20 miles in a day (and carry Very heavy packs).

As a not very fit 16 year old I managed a week of hiking (carrying my own kit) usually 15-20 miles a day but with one (epic) 27 miles (including up and down Pen-y-gent in the Yorkshire Dales) . I found it tiring but recovered quickly .

My own experience made me more impressed with Mr Earnshaw in Wuthering Heights (favourite book at the time):
‘Now, my bonny man, I’m going to Liverpool today, what shall I bring you? You may choose what you like: only let it be little, for I shall walk there and back: sixty miles each way, that is a long spell!’

Do you trust that he is sensible enough to carry what he needs for the walk - and for having to stay out in the dark if things go wrong ?

If he is a sensible lone walker - then he will be willing to leave a map/plan of his trip and expected timings. This is helpful in case of disaster (eg. he breaks a bone and needs fetching from somewhere without phone signal). It would speed up a search for him.

Walking is a great way to meet people without a great burden of social awkwardness. Perhaps he will meet others who like to do this.

Not sure if already suggested earlier in the thread, but perhaps see if he’d let you add his location on “Find My” (presuming you both have iPhones). Would mean if he becomes uncontactable then you would at least have a rough idea of his last known whereabouts and he can obviously remove you from it after his hike is finished should he not want you having his location indefinitely.

My 12 year old regularly hikes between 15 and 25 miles with the scouts, but in an unaccompanied group ie no adults - so sure you

He’ll be fine. Perhaps he will end up making some hiking friends.

I think some of the posters here are being rather callous and blasé. I know people who got lost on a walk through their local forest that they thought they knew like the back of their hand and had to be rescued by a mountain rescue helicopter that spent hours searching for them.

Yes. And not to be too blasé, but that's kind of part of the enjoyment of it.
I've had to quit long hikes and hobble to a road to be picked up.
When I was a teenager I had to call my parents a few times when I was somewhere and had no money (pre-mobiles), so from a phone box.
Those things you look back on later and laugh.
He'll be fine.

Sorry posted too soon..sure your older DS will be fine with 32. It's also doable in one day if he plans it well

If he is walking between two cities that are 32 miles apart he can't be going very remote, even if he does go cross-country rather than follow the main routes. As long as he is fit and healthy, has a mobile phone, battery pack, sensible clothes for the weather and food and water I'm sure he will be fine. Is there someone where he lives that he could leave contact details, route and expected details of route with before he leaves in case he doesn't get back? When I lived in halls there was a senior resident, or it may be that he knows one of his flat mates well enough to do this?

He should be ok hiking although he needs to put some basic safety stuff in place first. He needs to takes a phone, plan his route before hand and tell someone what his route will be. He needs to give an estimated time for return and an agreed time where emergency services should be contacted if a designated person doesnt hear from him.
Tbh this is something he should do each time he goes hiking, even if it's a short trip.

You'd 'let' him go.

WTF he's at Uni, he's 18+. It wouldn't be your choice FFS

@Interestingmauve get him to download 'What three words'. He can call emergency services if he needs to.

it would be better if he could leave his planned route with someone at Zuni & that someone would alert services if he doesn't come back, maybe there's someone who would do that kind of thing at the Uni, but you can't make him. You can ask him to do that with you. But 32 miles isn't ridiculously far for a bloke of his age at all.

presumabky you've brought him up with dnough common sense to leave early not 2pm??

@PuttingDownRoots

What on Earth is irresponsible walking to a town 16 miles away & back again??

I can't believe some of the nasty comments on this thread either. Clearly these posters have NT DC who became mature and responsible adults on their 18th birthdays and who are extroverted, self confident and have loads of friends.

I understand your concerns @Interestingmauve and I think you have to instill in your son that it is OK to ask for help if he needs it, and it is not a failure to decide to get public transport back to his university. The suggestion for downloading the WhatThreeWords app is an excellent one as it will provide his exact location should he require help.

He needs to have up to date maps and the right clothes and footwear. I hope he enjoys his walk and that he gives you no reason to worry.

What on Earth is irresponsible walking to a town 16 miles away & back again??

It depends on the terrain doesn't it? I live on the edge of the Pennines, which are hills not mountains, but we still have Woodhead Mountain Rescue, who do get called out regularly.