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Original poster

Silent sex

112 replies

SoSobored · 23/09/2022 19:53

I'm dating someone new, we've done everything up to PIV sex. They seem to be having a good time, but honestly he is so totally silent when we do anything.

It's so weird. I make a normal amount of noise, but it's starting to make me feel a bit self conscious.

Does anyone have any tips/advice?

OP posts:
EmmaH2022 · 23/09/2022 21:45

inheritanceshiteagain · 23/09/2022 21:19

DH occasionally says things but doesn't grunt, or howl so I don't know what your experience is? A bit of a moan at the end but I'm usually the one making the noise. He likes that

Actual howling might be a tad strange.

ShirleyJackson · 23/09/2022 21:49

Has he been in prison?

<Thinks of Frankie and Johnny, fans self>

RedRobyn2021 · 23/09/2022 21:53

Popaholic · 23/09/2022 19:56

Try being completely silent yourself and then scream really loudly when you climax? Maybe you can shock him out of it!

And/or tell him silence is a turn off

Proper bark-laughed at this 😭

EmmaH2022 · 23/09/2022 21:53

ShirleyJackson · 23/09/2022 21:49

Has he been in prison?

<Thinks of Frankie and Johnny, fans self>

I never understood how much sex he was having in prison!

creepy stalker though.

SenoritaNaturista · 23/09/2022 21:54

My (live apart!) chap is also silent, but even worse, if he does actually make a noise, it’s only ever to talk about the Lidl weekly special offers.
….and that’s really offputting

EmmaH2022 · 23/09/2022 21:55

SenoritaNaturista · 23/09/2022 21:54

My (live apart!) chap is also silent, but even worse, if he does actually make a noise, it’s only ever to talk about the Lidl weekly special offers.
….and that’s really offputting

During sex?

you're having a laugh, aren't you?

ispyduck · 23/09/2022 21:56

I call my husband the silent lover 😂

CrystalCoco · 23/09/2022 22:34

Oh God yes this reminds me of an ex - lived with his parents until mid-30s, so maybe that was a significant factor.

I have to say I didn't mind no noise during sex - but nothing, at all, not even a twitching facial muscle during orgasm - felt like there was something sociopathic there.....

On top of that, he 'conditioned' me not to mention it by saying how his ex's had thought it was weird and how that had annoyed him.

Turns out, many years later I was right, freaking weirdo, wish I'd never gone near!

Sorry Op, don't mean to de-rail, just my tuppence worth!

Closetbeanmuncher · 23/09/2022 22:36

Not even a shout or groan at the end op?

Most of my partners have been quite vocal.

Paigeycakey · 23/09/2022 22:46

There's some funny comments here 🤣

I think most men are silent and the best your going to get is a bit of a moan/breathing at the finish line. I think I would be off put by a noisy man WTAF.

SpinningFloppa · 23/09/2022 22:49

That’s what I thought that most men are silent so surprised to see people saying the opposite 🤔

Mabelstearooms · 23/09/2022 22:52

My husband isn't silent but is very quiet. I match that. I grew up having to listen to my step father being very loud and disgusting during sex (with my mother obvs) and found it repulsive so would like my children not to be traumatised but it either to be honest.

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 23/09/2022 22:54

KingOfWishfulThinkin · 23/09/2022 21:06

Not quite the same but I really appreciate warning of climax from a man. Sometimes it's obvious but sometimes it's really, really not.. and you're still bouncing away wondering if you're doing something wrong because it's gone all sad and soft on you. But really he came about 3 mins ago. Ideal.

OMG this drives me crazy with my DH!!!

This thread is eye opening. My DH is totally silent during sex and I’ve always found something about the situation just a tiny bit uncomfortable but could never put my finger on it. It’s the silence! This thread has solved a 13 year question for me.

Mummysharkargggggggg · 23/09/2022 22:56

My partner does let out a few moans and definitely at the finish. I would find total silence strange.

Tadpoll · 23/09/2022 23:19

We’re quite chatty during sex 😂 We’ve even been known to have an ‘interval’ and have a conversation.

DP makes usual grunts and moans, but also says things like ‘you’re so sexy/you’re so beautiful/you feel so good’ etc. I love it.

Silent sex would be a massive turn off for me.

easylikeasundaymorning · 23/09/2022 23:27

Funny thread 😄

Current dp is the right amount of noisy for me, heavy breathing the odd moan/grunt and some dirty talking.

Previous dp was silent and I hated it I felt really self conscious. Im not even a shrieker or super loud but I like to know that the other person is enjoying themselves otherwise I always worried he felt it was a 'chore'.

Ameanstreakamilewide · 23/09/2022 23:38

EmmaH2022 · 23/09/2022 20:43

Oh and that scene in S&TC with Berger when it's so quiet, Carrie can hear people getting on and off the bus!

As Sam sagely says 'At least someone was getting off'.

Rabidturnip · 23/09/2022 23:40

DP isn’t silent, thank goodness. I would find that very off putting. Neither of us are screamers. You’ve got to have some noise though, so you both know you’re enjoying yourselves 😃

EmmaH2022 · 23/09/2022 23:40

Ameanstreakamilewide · 23/09/2022 23:38

As Sam sagely says 'At least someone was getting off'.

Show quote history

Glad someone else else remembers this! 😂

Blocked · 23/09/2022 23:43

It's because they all watch porn on silent. They can only get off on silent sex Grin

BirdsCustardPowder · 23/09/2022 23:48

Is it because they're "in control"? So don't make any noises of surprise? Are they noisier if you're taking the lead maybe?

Eddieisadick · 23/09/2022 23:54

Nothing wrong with being silent. If you’re close enough to have sex you’re close enough to discuss it

tea1tea2 · 23/09/2022 23:58

Blocked · 23/09/2022 23:43

It's because they all watch porn on silent. They can only get off on silent sex Grin

Grin
fdgdfgdfgdfg · 24/09/2022 00:22

I'm a silent one (man). It has bothered a succession of partners over the years, most have got over it. I've tried to be more vocal, but it feels so unnatural. A grunt at the point of orgasm is about all your getting. My DP for the last 15 years says she knows how much I'm enjoying by my breathing

I'm not the chattiest man the rest of the time either, I don't know if it's linked.

BadNomad · 24/09/2022 00:57

I don't know. I'd prefer silence to performance moaning. If it sounds fake then I would get all in my head about it because if he's concentrating on faking noises then he's not really in-the-moment, and then we'll both just acting like pornstars but without the money.

A little grunt at the end is useful, though. La fin.