I didn't think I looked that rough!

[Magenta82]

A woman in the supermarket was chatting to my 11 month old DD and said "are you out shopping with granny?"

I was so stunned I couldn't say a word.

I am an older mum at 40 and she hasn't slept through in the last week but I didn't think I looked that rough!

I know a few granny's age 40 and younger.

We're they hillbillies?

I did get this question asked at 55. Just gave my long stare.

WTAF is wrong with some people

Meh. I became a grandma at 42 when my youngest child was only 4. I imagine people were scared to ask if I was mum or grandma.

At 40 (or 41 if your dc is nearly one) when you're tired and not looking your best I think it would be easy to assume you are grandma.

My neighbours have 2 children younger than some of their grandkids

So Grans look rough ? Charming

I’ve a family member who is 39 and has a 20 year old daughter, they get mistaken for sisters. A close friend became a grandma at 41 and another who had her third child at 42. 🤷‍♀️

If you have a level of basic manners then it’s common sense to “assume” it is the mum. A bit like how my mum taught me never to ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless you can see the head emerging.

It never fails to amaze me how many people were clearly dragged up with no manners.

I would be similarly put out OP 😂
(I’m 41 with a 2yr old).

Whilst yes, technically possible etc etc, that’s just not how I see myself.

So older equals looking rough OP?

I made my mum a Granny at 40!
i most certainly wouldn’t have assumed though that you were her granny!

This happened to me once. A man jumped up all flustered and offered me his seat on the tube. Didn't know what was going on at first but then we both simultaneously clocked the mistake at the same time (being the moment his fluster turned into horror as he registered the confusion on my face)

Stop being deliberately obtuse. I think it’s pretty reasonable to be offended at being thought of as (on average) at least 15 years older than you are.

My mum had me at 40 in 1967. I don't think tactlessness is excusable to be honest.

No but as has been discussed the average granny is not 40, the current average age for a first time mum is 28.9 years old in 1993 the average age was 25.8 so the average age for a first time grandmother right now would be mid 50s.

I am 40 if I look like I could be mid 50s then I must be looking pretty bad for my age.

I woman I worked with many years ago who became a grandmother at 30. She was 15 when she had her son and her son was 15 when he became a father! I spoke to her a some years later and she said her youngest daughter was expecting. Her daughter 17 and so I said something about her 'waiting'. She had a good sense of humor so we laughed. She had three or for children in total. I recently found her obituary. She died at age 70 of breast cancer and had a total of 18 grandchildren.

My mum had me at 42 and sometimes was mistaken for my grandma. However, when I look back at photos from the 80's I see she was actually much smarter and more attractive than most of the other mum's! (as I bet you are too).
As other posters have commented, some people are grandparents in their 30's... The lady in the supermarket was probably speaking from her own experience. I had my youngest DD at 38 and there are plenty other parents around my age at school (although admittedly a lot of parents 15+ years younger too 😉)

Even if she is old enough to be a grandmother I don't understand how this is offensive to grandmothers.

OP - these things happen to the best of us! I guess it's kind of a mistake that you can see someone making considering the wide spectrum of ages of mothers and grandmothers. I would personally just see the funny side in it (and maybe use it as an excuse to shout yourself a pampering session or a new lipstick!)

@PalePurplePumpkin

you’re projecting and getting personally offended for no reason. Of course there are
people having children as teenagers or early twenties. But that’s not the norm. The average age is nearly 30 to be a mum. If I knew a 40 year old I would assume their children were young and not a grandma.

Very easy to spot who the 40 year old grannies are on this thread!

I am so sorry people have been so utterly vile to you @RagamuffinCat 😥

I got the opposite last year. In Lidl, at the checkout, with my 2 year old Granddaughter and the woman in front was so taken with her and was chatting away "Mummy this Mummy that". I pointed out I am Nana and she was stunned! No make-up, nothing! Made my day. I often get mistaken for my daughter's sister...no idea how, but I will take it😂

That’s really rubbish!

Maybe she heard you say something like “let’s get this for mummy” - talking about yourself like most mums do but she thought that meant you weren’t her mum.

@PalePurplePumpkin

actually 20 is pretty unusual to have a baby especially now a days