Food bank Fussiness

[VeronicaFranklin]

I volunteer at a local food bank on a Saturday morning, recently due to cost of living we've had more and more people using it.

All sorts of people, some working families, some exclusively on benefits, some elderly, retired due to ill health and some homeless / alcohol/ drug addiction. There really is no face to food poverty and it's very sad to see so many people struggling to feed themselves and their families. I feel glad there are places people can turn to if they need help...

However...

We give people a sheet when they arrive, they tick a number of items (depending on if they are a family/couple/single person) they wish to have, I go off to pack up their items.

More recently I've had people complain if they wanted something we had a previous week but don't have this week, i.e. requesting Frosties and we only have Cornflakes, or Semi skimmed milk but we only have skimmed. One lady said to me on Sat when I didn't have the soup she liked ' well it just isn't good enough'...

Also people arguing with us if say someone has received a certain brand (donated) and they haven't. For example someone got 'Asda's own washing up liquid and saw someone had got 'Fairy' brand washing up liquid and started complaining it wasn't fair...

I just feel really disappointed. Everyone is entitled to help and most people are very thankful but we rely solely on donations and charity surplus to run the food bank, many of the volunteers give up their time to help even when their circumstances aren't much better than those using the food bank and we often buy items to bring to cover the shortfall in donations especially toiletries such as sanitary towels and toothpaste, but I can't help feeling recently like people are being ungrateful.

Is it unreasonable if you're getting something for free to feel you're entitled to complain? How would you handle it?

Most people are not entitled and rude.

As I said upthread I think you shoud resign your position, you are just not the right person for the role.

This is Mumsnet isn't it? Can I not mention my newborn?

Absolutely the correct interpretation of what I said OP.

Everyone knows that there will be the odd occasion of rude entitled behaviour from food-bank users.

But this rude entitled behaviour should be called out and stamped out by everyone.

Instead so many in our society (if representative of this thread) blame the kind souls giving up their time and money out of goodwill! It's a disgrace and those people attacking you should hang their heads in shame.

They are actually the ones who are causing suffering, by persecuting volunteers and donators and driving them away, leading to less for the folk that need the service.

To summarise, it's not the OP who will drive volunteers and donators away, it is the people attacking OP for feeling sad about experiencing rude entitled food-bank users.

Most people are not entitled and rude.

As I said upthread I think you shoud resign your position, you are just not the right person for the role.

I never thought I'd need to use BOLD as much as I am doing in this thread, but it's thoroughly enjoyable. Like using a highlighter to tick off the food bank lists. Reverts me back to being a child and playing teachers with a register book, ah, sweet nostalgia.

Right back to debating. Or is it insult throwing or pointy finger judging, I forget.

Anyway, no need to resign in a volunteer post, you simply just don't turn up.

Which is what the majority of other volunteers have done. I suspect, as someone has yelled at them for not providing Frosties.

But you don't? For all you know your donations went to someone who didn't complain 🥴

This!

Op try to ignore the bile.

I suspect the righteous saintly types on here have not worked with the public or been poor themselves. Hand wringers.

I've referred several people to foodbanks through my own volunteering role. They were all in desperate need, and very glad of the help they received.

The bags aren't always perfect of course, because the banks can only give out what's been brought in. And I do think that they're sometimes a bit 'oversold' with regard to what they can offer. I remember being really excited for a client when I found one not far from her and referred her and she spent precious cash on getting the bus there. When she reported (without complaint) what had been in her bag, I was shocked at how meagre it was., and it seemed like it wasn't worth her bus fare. So I do try to manage people's expectations when I refer them.

Volunteers don't depend on donated supplies either and unlike nurses they are not paid for the results "they achieve".

Yes. I also wonder why the people who are worried that OP might put people off making donations are also not worried that they themselves might put people off volunteering as apparently you not only have to give up your free time but you also have to suffer abuse without complaint, even anonymously on an internet forum.

I'm a very fussy eater so I went through the bag they gave me and return anything i wont/can't eat. If I got it home it wouldn't be used and would be a waste. They are appreciative that I gave back as someone else in need could have it instead. Lucky enough to have only ever needed to use once but I can't stand rudeness and you don't reserve that attitude

@dianthus

Nobody is forcing the OP to martyr herself.

If she doesn't like the attitude of the people she is serving, if she feels they're not grateful enough, then there's nothing stopping her from staying home.

I hope that anyone who is considering a volunteer role will be able to learn from the OP that volunteering is not about the feelz of the volunteers, that volunteers should meet people where they are, and unless they themselves have donated all the food then they shouldn't be taking it so personally when some of the recipients express a preference for some other item.

@Jijithecat
I have no issues with the anonymity of the forum.

I have an issue with people who hide behind the anonymity and poison minds against the disempowered.

I have an issue with people who demonize others behind a screen of anonymity and invite others to pile on, with comments about luxury cars and weed smoking and all the rest of the ugly tropes that have been trotted out here.

@VeronicaFranklin
A food bank isn't a charity?

Blimey I think @mathanxiety needs to calm down. The OP is not "poisoning minds against the disempowered"!!!

OP you are doing a stirling job, good on you.

Not all food banks are run by a charity. A food bank is a charitable thing, but some are run informally and not by an organisation that is a charity.

There are a few posters who have shown themselves to be bullies on this thread, and the OP is not one of them.

Bored of reading @mathanxiety one-person hyperbole show so will leave you to it.

I can see that it is not nice to be a volunteer and hear this, but I have bigger issues with the FB.

Whilst I'm pleased people donate, I hate it when I look in the boxes in the supermarkets and see what people have donated. Seriously, does there come a time when food bank recipients say, "look, thanks for the offer, but I can't stand anymore baked beans, pasta or Angel Delight".

We used to have a harvest festival and donate food for the FB at our country village MC school. I was always appalled at what these people thought others less fortunate than themselves ate. I've been broke many times and I don't remember at the time craving Angel Delight or spaghetti hoops. I find this quite insulting.

Because of this I have a rule that I never donate something I wouldn't eat myself. I always try and donate something for the mum too, as she is probably going without. The cynic in me also never buys tea, coffee or biscuits because whilst I appreciate the volunteers, I don't want then swiping the decent biscuits or tea bags I buy for their kitchen although obviously they deserve nice tea

@KLFisgonnarockya I think you’re right. Working in some public facing roles, living in the worst type of social housing estate, or actually being seriously poor for a while might perhaps bring a touch of reality to some people’s thinking.

I’ve been poor when there were no foodbanks, lived in shitty housing, worked on the front line in the public sector, and been a volunteer. I try to be non judgemental, we don’t know everyone’s back story, but I have witnessed an increase of rudeness and entitlement in general life. I was trained in dealing with difficult situations, I am empathic, but regular experiences such as being spat at, threatened with a dirty needle, or told they’ll be waiting when you finish work gets to be too much eventually.

If increasing abuse of staff and volunteers is considered acceptable, eventually some public and voluntary services won’t function at all.

Politely expressing a preference for another item to see if they have it is fine. Complaining vociferously and being very rude/abusive is not. Obviously nobody is forcing OP to volunteer and I'm sure she will reconsider it if she gets too much abuse.

It's not your place to tell someone to resign from a post. Who do you think you are????

Oh yes, I know who you are, you're one of those rude, entitled people ....

I think I am a human being as are you and I am allowed to express my opinion as are you. My view is that the OP is not the right person for the food bank. I have also said a number of times that no one who cared about the food bank users would have started this thread, and I stand by that.

The word 'entitled' has largely become meaningless.

Tell them then can f off and look after themselves then

You're not 'entitled' to tell other people what to do.

Only an entitled person would think that this word has become meaningless. A failure to recognise and own your own character traits.

"The word 'entitled' has largely become meaningless."
No it has not
People need o think what they can do to look after themselves and their family and stop whining and expecting handouts

Someone who cared about food bank users wouldn't express the opinion that potential volunteers are not “the right person for the job” unless they are prepared to put up with abuse with no complaint. I think your comments are more likely to have a negative impact not only on potential volunteers but also future donations than anything OP has said.