Food bank Fussiness

[VeronicaFranklin]

I volunteer at a local food bank on a Saturday morning, recently due to cost of living we've had more and more people using it.

All sorts of people, some working families, some exclusively on benefits, some elderly, retired due to ill health and some homeless / alcohol/ drug addiction. There really is no face to food poverty and it's very sad to see so many people struggling to feed themselves and their families. I feel glad there are places people can turn to if they need help...

However...

We give people a sheet when they arrive, they tick a number of items (depending on if they are a family/couple/single person) they wish to have, I go off to pack up their items.

More recently I've had people complain if they wanted something we had a previous week but don't have this week, i.e. requesting Frosties and we only have Cornflakes, or Semi skimmed milk but we only have skimmed. One lady said to me on Sat when I didn't have the soup she liked ' well it just isn't good enough'...

Also people arguing with us if say someone has received a certain brand (donated) and they haven't. For example someone got 'Asda's own washing up liquid and saw someone had got 'Fairy' brand washing up liquid and started complaining it wasn't fair...

I just feel really disappointed. Everyone is entitled to help and most people are very thankful but we rely solely on donations and charity surplus to run the food bank, many of the volunteers give up their time to help even when their circumstances aren't much better than those using the food bank and we often buy items to bring to cover the shortfall in donations especially toiletries such as sanitary towels and toothpaste, but I can't help feeling recently like people are being ungrateful.

Is it unreasonable if you're getting something for free to feel you're entitled to complain? How would you handle it?

Some of these I get.

My DD cannot have skimmed milk, there's a chemical in it that triggers her muscle condition, I wouldn't be rude about it though I'd explain and hope for Semi or Whole and I couldn't get those then I'd just say no to milk and manage without.

The op explained when she received help she was lovely and polite She also did not say that everyone at the food bank is some rude chavvy undeserving pleb who should be grateful and kiss her feet. Expecting a certain level of manners/ politeness (well bare minimum not being rude and entitled) for someone giving their free time on a weekly basis is not to much to ask.

I'm sorry you're getting such a hard time here @VeronicaFranklin. Most people with a baby would consider they already have enough to do with volunteering for anything.

Actually, it is too much to ask. If you need that, you shouldn't be volunteering in a food bank. A high % of users will have mental health issues, there will be alcoholics, drug users, abused people etc.

It is genuinely pathetic to expect politeness in that setting from everyone.

@carefullycourageous

To be fair you are massively judging food bank users yourself with the “alcoholics, drug users, abused people” comment.

Isn’t it the case a huge % of people receiving benefits actually have jobs and nurses etc. are now using food banks.

Yes, she is not spreading anything, anymore than anyone on here comments on their DP is casting aspersions against all men. She’s shared experiences and not named V place or people. Done posters have made helpful suggestions so it will have been worthwhile to the OP hopefully.
Some folks will have been stressed and upset, others are just bloody rude. Anyone who has worked in a shop knows that. I will not accept any excuses for someone feeling aggrieved that someone else got fairy liquid and they got supermarket own brand. That person is entitled to think disappointed thoughts but they are not entitled to complain to people giving their time to volunteer. This isn’t about making someone feel that they have to grovel in base gratitude, just that they treat people with the same level of respect that I’m sure the volunteers are showing them.

No, I'm not judging the food bank users. It is factual that a higher percentage of those accessing good banks have MH issues. It is also factual that in any large group some will be alcoholics and drug users.

Obviously every individual who accesses a food bank is different but find me a study that says the rates of MH diagnoses amongst food bank users is lower than the general population I will gladly read it.

It is weird to expect everyone to be super polite given the fact it is a pool of people experiencing various difficulties in their lives.

I agree with this.

Of course no one should be rude.

But I also disagree with the idea that 'you should be grateful you get anything' and 'be thankful for the volunteers that are changing your lives'. If they're resorting to a food bank, sorry but their life is in such a state that a free handout it hardly life changing, it just means one less thing to worry about.

No one should be spoken to disrespectfully, but it's a thankless job (much like the comparison to hospital work). You'll meet all sorts, you're not there to be praised for giving them a can of beans.

Please don't volunteer at a food bank

I'm not Lady Bountiful and people don't have to be grateful for things that they should receive in any decent democracy.

This.

This post needs to be read and read again! 💯

And those most in need will be most stressed.

this should be what’s on posters!

I worked for many years at social security. Knew many families who had 3 generations welfare dependant. Some of them were terrifyingly aggressive, feckless and uneducated. Others were in dreadful situations not of their making (particularly victims of DV).

It didn't alter the fact that fundementally the children of those families have no power over their lives and need to be fed and cared for.

I have been donating to food banks for many years and know many people at my church who volunteer. I take my hat off to them because I couldn't do it.

The OP is entilted to moan about bad manners. Of course she can say nothing at work. She will smile and apologise that they don't have what the client wants. She is doing a valuable job for no reward and those preaching to her are just posturing and sanctimonious.

You can't drive them away for not being grateful enough, or they won't get help.

But you shouldn’t drive away the volunteers either.
These people are working for free, in their spare time. Some of the posters on this thread seem to disregard that fact.

It's sad to see someone label me as an 'unkind volunteer' when surely the bases of any voluntary work is kindness and a hope that you can help people in lesser circumstances than yourself. Voluntary work for most part it is a thankless task, if we did it for thanks we'd have packed it in a long time ago!

You'd be surprised tbh. I volunteered for 10yr and there were plenty of volunteers whose motivations weren't to be kind or to help others.

What were they?

Ah, this old myth again - three generations of worklessness.

There is very little evidence that this group even exists - it was a lie made up by the right and repeated over and over again. www.jrf.org.uk/report/are-cultures-worklessness-passed-down-generations Despite strenuous efforts, the researchers were unable to locate any such families. Even two generations of complete worklessness in the same family was a very rare phenomenon

Actually no.

A democracy is a system of government in which sections of the populace get a say in who governs the country.

The people of this country have not voted for a government that says every person, regardless of circumstances, will be fed by the state coffers. If they had we wouldn't need food banks in the first place.

So maybe a bit of gratitude that a section of the population feels that people really shouldn't go hungry (and that an even smaller section that is prepared to do something about it) is in order.

This. A million times this.

Give vouchers for payment via supermarkets and you eliminate a huge amount of transport and set up costs.
In fact just ensure the basics are cheap and everyone can eat well.

PS: To the lady who goes into the local asda and buys ALL the cheap pasta, they've now introduced a rule to stop people buying large quantities.

It's assumed she's a cafe owner rather than just liking a lot of pasta.

If I thought I would encounter some of the attitudes here where you are expected to be grateful for some free food, I would not go

You think people shouldn't be grateful for food that somebody else has spent their hard earned cash on and taken the time to donate? Anyway, that's not the issue, the issue is that some people are demanding certain brands (that many of us can't afford) and getting stroppy with the people good enough to give up their time to volunteer.

No wonder we're turning into such a rude society, that people on here think it's acceptable to be rude, grabby and demanding because you're a foodbank user. Sorry but foodbank user or not, everyone in society should be expected to be polite, why are we pandering to people, how does this help anyone?

@icelolly12 Having to go to a foodbank is humiliating enough. Being expected to be grateful is an extra humiliation.

I think you missed ‘decent’ in the post I quoted. But go off.

I think charities who are trying to help do have to find ways to meet people where they are, without judging the person as undeserving, and to accept that at that moment, the person can't see how to do things differently

I can genuinely see where you're coming from on this one, PizzaFunghi, though isn't there a risk that, if every agency takes the same view, change will never be possible?

Admittedly it's a benefit to the charity industry to have a client base who are permanently deemed unable to make a difference to their own situation, but I'm not sure it's the most effective answer in the end

Not everyone who is rude or unpleasant at a food bank or in hospital are like that because they are frightened or under stress. Some are just rude and entitled like some people in every situation. Food bank users are both good and bad people like everyone else - not some sort of saintly victims.