Food bank Fussiness

[VeronicaFranklin]

I volunteer at a local food bank on a Saturday morning, recently due to cost of living we've had more and more people using it.

All sorts of people, some working families, some exclusively on benefits, some elderly, retired due to ill health and some homeless / alcohol/ drug addiction. There really is no face to food poverty and it's very sad to see so many people struggling to feed themselves and their families. I feel glad there are places people can turn to if they need help...

However...

We give people a sheet when they arrive, they tick a number of items (depending on if they are a family/couple/single person) they wish to have, I go off to pack up their items.

More recently I've had people complain if they wanted something we had a previous week but don't have this week, i.e. requesting Frosties and we only have Cornflakes, or Semi skimmed milk but we only have skimmed. One lady said to me on Sat when I didn't have the soup she liked ' well it just isn't good enough'...

Also people arguing with us if say someone has received a certain brand (donated) and they haven't. For example someone got 'Asda's own washing up liquid and saw someone had got 'Fairy' brand washing up liquid and started complaining it wasn't fair...

I just feel really disappointed. Everyone is entitled to help and most people are very thankful but we rely solely on donations and charity surplus to run the food bank, many of the volunteers give up their time to help even when their circumstances aren't much better than those using the food bank and we often buy items to bring to cover the shortfall in donations especially toiletries such as sanitary towels and toothpaste, but I can't help feeling recently like people are being ungrateful.

Is it unreasonable if you're getting something for free to feel you're entitled to complain? How would you handle it?

This is a good idea!
Some people are rude and ungrateful, needy or affluent.

OP, I’m very sorry you’re dealing with this. It doesn’t have to be that way. Even if they were paying customers, the volunteers deserve more respect. Please don’t continue to tolerate it. I imagine it will only get worse.

No, and many people on this thread have expressed similar views to mine - that you're out of line discussing service users in the way you did and have odd views about gratitude.

You have made it clear you think you handled it all better by being grateful when you were in need, it seems you want others to pay you back for that.

OP is working for a charity as a volunteer.

There are usually reasons that people are not behaving in a pleasant way

Sure. But sometimes, the reason is because they're a dick. They'd still be dicks if they were rich.

Being poor doesn't make anyone a saint, any more than it makes them a sinner. It's patronising to assume that people act like they do purely due to their circumstances. There's no piety in poverty. It doesn't remove agency.

You only have to remember how so many people (some of us included I daresay) turned into toilet paper stock-piling twats when we were under the pressure of the pandemic to know that people under pressure don't always behave very well. Many of us in this state will look at what others are getting and get a bit out of control if it seems ourselves and our families are "missing out" - even if it's just over a slightly nicer washing liquid. But yes it's not acceptable for volunteers to be harangued.

@VeronicaFranklin

I imagine the people who are disagreeing with you, are probably the same people who think it's ok to complain about the free products they get at a food bank, to volunteers, who have no control over the items that get donated.
Honestly this thread just highlights that you can't please everyone.

OP doesn't state anywhere that its a charity, only that it is community run.

But it is goady. She's not helping herself by posting like this, and she is actively causing harm by continually spreading the idea that many food bank users are rude and entitled or don't really need to be there. That's the problem. There are ways to have a quiet grumble with other volunteers, to have something organised to help volunteers learn to deal with difficult clients etc. But this isn't a good way because of the message it sends, whether the OP is anonymous or not.

Being disappointed that people aren't grateful suggests a need for appreciation, to feel that you've done something that helps, to make you feel warm and fuzzy. And those things are nice and we all like it when we get that. But as a reason for volunteering, it's problematic, because chances are, you might not always get that from people. You need to learn to put expectations aside, and to be doing it for the sake of helping, not feel good factors. Of course that's hard, and it's an ideal that nobody is ever going to achieve all the time. And disappointment is a natural reaction at times, but something to work on by considering some of the points people have made here. It's a learning process for volunteers, too.

I'm sure most people wouldn't behave like an arse either. And most don't. We're just not hearing about them - we're hearing about the few that do. And who is to say whether we'd behave like that under extreme stress or not? I'd hope I wouldn't either, that I'd be one of the many who stay polite and grateful. But I don't know how I'd react, so I have stay open to the possibility.

. She's not helping herself by posting like this, and she is actively causing harm by continually spreading the idea that many food bank users are rude and entitled or don't really need to be there. That's the problem

She's not "spreading an idea" , she 's recounting her own personal experience. It's not for you to silence her.

yes absolutely there will be people who are dicks when they're poor or when they're rich. But I think trying to "teach them a lesson" by telling them to go elsewhere or spreading the message that people should be properly grateful isn't going to help them at that point, and being a dick doesn't mean that they don't deserve the help.

It certainly doesn't mean volunteers need to put up with any and all abuse that they get. But I think there are helpful ways of dealing with it, including looking into some of the potential reasons why people behave like that. No, that wont' explain it for everyone, but given that we'll never know the reasons in any individual case, giving the benefit of the doubt can sometimes just make interactions easier.

All organisations that accept money have a legal structure. The foodbank could legally be a co-operative or a CIC, but that would be unusual as they are both more complex legal structures than a charity and there would be zero reason to do this for a community run foodbank.
I have never come across a foodbank that is not a charity. If their income is too low they will not have an allocated charity number, but they will still be legally a charity. Unless they are just putting money into an individual volunteer's bank account, which for obvious reasons would never be recommended.

Volunteering in a similar role really opened up my eyes to how entitled and cheeky some people are and made me a lot more cynical about food banks.

A lot of people simply see them as a way to reduce their daily spend so they can buy more alcohol, beauty products etc. Then there are others who are too proud/ashamed to use a foodbank despite being absolutely desperate. 😞In other words often those who most need it don't benefit and others benefit despite not needing it.

I don't agree with foodbanks as they are now seen as an entitlement/top up shop rather than being for those in need.

🙄🙄

I agree OP. If I was volunteering and had people complaining they weren’t getting the brands they preferred I’d be pissed off.

If I knew users were turning their noses up at my Tesco beans and giving volunteers grief about it it would make think twice about donating in future!

@PizzaFunghi

Its not for you to attempt to police what someone posts (anonymously) on MN because you happen to disagree. In the world of free speech people are permitted to express views/their experiences and people who read them can engage in a disagreement or ignore.

The fact you think I would stop giving to charity because I’ve read a thread on MN of an individual expressing a personal experience of someone not very nice is offensive frankly. We are not all sheep and by that standard there would barely be any threads left on MN.

The op is expressing that she was the deserving poor but these plebs are the undeserving poor, IMO.

I was responsible for handing out food vouchers for food banks. Unfortunately my view of many of the people that I gave them to was met with suspicion especially when they were dropped off in range rovers and other top of the end cars and wearing designer clothes. These people were also on benefits.. There really does need to be more checks before handing out these vouchers.

Brilliant just brilliant

No I'm not.

Yes, I agree.

I'm not policing what she posts, but I can express my opinion that it is wrong and potentially causing harm. She is entitled to post them, but people are trying to make some valid points about it, both about how that view could encourage people to think that many foodbank users don't need it, and also to give ideas to the OP about how an organisation could handle things differently, by providing training, making sure volunteers are suited to client facing roles, providing somewhere to let off frustrations and work out issues with others privately, etc.

The op is expressing that she was the deserving poor but these plebs are the undeserving poor, IMO 🙄No she was expressing that some are entitled, rude and demanding. Being poor/ needing to use a food bank does not make you some sort of saint whose behaviour is beyond reproach

The op explained when she received help she was lovely and polite

You really can't bear being wrong, can you? I feel sorry for any volunteers you oversee.

Not got time to read the full
thread apologies, but I think we’d struggle as a family if we had to use a foodbank.

I have children with food aversions, so would be very limited in what they would eat. This comes across in other walks of life as well and I’m sure we often come across as ungrateful if something isn’t suitable.

one of my children also has a bad skin condition so would struggle with certain toiletries for example. Whilst we’d be ok with non brand washing up liquid (which is what I use anyway), potentially someone with a similar condition might not be & this could cause a flair up where fairy might not.

I have another child with a food allergy so a lot of “own brand” products aren’t suitable due to cross contamination.

I also wouldn’t want to take something we couldn’t use as it would be wasted.

i think the kindness posters are a good idea. I’d hope the majority of your service users are extremely grateful.

Just tell them

"Beggars can't be choosers"