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Original poster

What would your 'honest' dating profile include?

60 replies

FatPatsCat · 11/09/2022 18:03

"Divorced.
BMI indicates I'm not tall enough.
No hobbies.
Have watched so much news today that I'm concerned I'll have a Scottish accent when I finally speak to somebody."

How about yours 😁

OP posts:
Carlycat · 12/09/2022 00:34

ProperSorryFrown · 11/09/2022 19:24

1.Vegan.
2.Will remind you daily of above statement.

This ✊

Doormatnomore · 12/09/2022 00:37

I’m a fucking delight and will make you feel a million dollars - when I feel like it, an hour a week tops. When I don’t feel like it I’ll grey out like a shadow and you’ll just have to wait till I swing back round again.

stillvicarinatutu · 12/09/2022 00:50

Mine . I might actually change mine to this and see what happens 😂

Female victor meldrew. Rarely gets dressed. Swears like a navvy keeps odd hours and odd pets . Likes cock . Dog gets first choice of bed before you do . Shouts at telly and chunters frequently including profanities as appropriate. Likes sleep . Hates work . Likes money . Hates liars , men with faces like a slapped arse , and inflated egos. Whilst no spring chicken scrubs up well . If you resemble the gruffalo, pose with a fish or have 1 remaining tooth please scroll past . Ta .

Original poster
FatPatsCat · 12/09/2022 08:39

DancingBudgie · 12/09/2022 00:26

Mine would be....
Hates everything apart from dogs, holidays, the pub and grub.
I have hair that looks like an exploding mattress and an arse that likes to mate with the backs of my knees.
I like to grump about everything and anything.
I'm a hot and wet babe in bed although, but only because of my hot flushes!
Interested? Call someone else who gives a shiny one.

Hot and wet in bed ✔️

OP posts:
StopStartStop · 12/09/2022 08:48

ednatheevilwitch · 11/09/2022 20:28

@StopStartStop are you me?

Don't think so, but maybe we've been meeting the same blokes...

StopStartStop · 12/09/2022 08:51

can no longer be bothered with pubic grooming

That made me laugh.

SudocremOnEverything · 12/09/2022 09:00

Yes, I know I have a well paid job and own a house. I have worked hard for it. I have absolutely no desire to compensate you for having given over all your assets (except your pension) in your divorce settlement. And, no, I don’t care that you have to pay child maintenance either.
Even setting aside my unwillingness to pool anything financial with you, I have no intention of becoming your live in housekeeper ever living with you’ camp.
Also, I can’t be bothered to prop up your ego. Particularly if it’s one-way traffic.
I don’t care if you go to the gym, or how brilliant you think your muscles are.
And no fussy eaters. I could not be less interested in having my food choices curtailed by your preferences. Been there; done that. And frankly, I can’t be arsed.

Watchthesunrise · 12/09/2022 09:02

Moody. Interesting to talk to. Fat and not seeking to do anything about it. Only comfortable between 21 and 24 degrees. Fiercely loving.

Beezknees · 12/09/2022 09:09

Teen mum who turned her life around. Casual dating only. Been single for 13 years so standards are high. Not interested in living with a man, so don't even think about it. I'm slightly overweight and I don't care. Not interested in blending families, so if you've got kids then they're your responsibility.

Original poster
FatPatsCat · 18/09/2022 12:59

Ach - considering all the 'honesty' I've shared on this thread I really should stop being so choosy....

I won't swipe right for anyone with photos of their car, with photos of 'inspirational' quotes, with repeated spelling mistakes.....

I think I'm just meant to be single!

OP posts:
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