I came to that conclusion because that was his own words, and messages he's received during his life from some people he's had the misfortune to be acquaintances with or be bullied by. He's had the man enough words said to him enough to know people out there so see men who don't behave a certain way or do certain things as weak and less of a man and there's many men out there who don't reach out for help because of this stuff.
He was bullied for being "girly" or gay, all through school, he'd have his things stolen and told to man up and fight for it back. If he cried they punched him while yelling at him to man up. A teacher even did to him when he cried at school after our dog died.
Our grandad's funeral some people on the same course at college took the piss out of him for months and months because they happened to go past on a bus as he was walking home with me crying. They called him gay and weak.
He recently had time off sick for the first ever time in over 20 years. He's never taken time off sick and when he tried to tell one colleague he was struggling with anxiety, that colleague was then heard calling him a drama queen and said the words anxiety with air quotes.
He's been really struggling when he was out of work with his mental health, because he felt like shit at not being able to "provide" for his wife and children and that he knew there's people who would see him as weak and it's genuinely stopped him seeking help because of the experiences he's had in his life. He's taught himself not to cry, to be big and brave and strong in front of others and keep the insecurities and tears for when he's alone.
I absolutely agree that there's nothing wrong in seeing it as an honour and being proud of family who do carry a coffin. I can also see how it can cause problems if more people want to carry than don't. It's the suggestion that those who don't or can't are less of a man or like they are being rude that's offensive.